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  • 12 Months of Freedom..And Lovin' Every Minute

    For people making and maintaining change in their gambling. Connect, ask questions, offer advice, and share your story in here. If you are new to the site drop in and say hello!
    BrittV (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 485
    Joined: Mon May 14, 2018 11:40 am

    Re: 12 Months of Freedom..And Lovin' Every Minute

    Tue Feb 19, 2019 10:43 am

    Congratulations @JinxyWolf, amazing work!!!!

    So glad to hear :)
    2 x
    Sadly, it's my last week as Community Manager. Wishing everyone all the best!
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    JinxyWolf
    Senior Member
    Posts: 355
    Joined: Wed Feb 15, 2017 8:51 pm

    Re: 12 Months of Freedom..And Lovin' Every Minute

    Fri Apr 26, 2019 9:43 pm

    Hello All,

    Well things are pretty messed up here at the moment and I feel my world starting to crumble.

    No, I haven't succumbed to my gambling addiction which 2 years ago would have been my go to escape plan. I have learnt a lot about myself these last few years and know that I am stronger than I ever thought possible but that doesn't mean I don't need help just like anyone else.

    For me today, it's as simple as needing a place to just let it all out. So here goes,

    One of the business my family runs is closing it's doors. people will loose their jobs and another shop in our small town will disappear.
    We tried our best, put our heart and souls into this business, especially my brother who was the manager, but it just couldn't survive.
    Our full time and part time employees are now unemployed and it's breaking my heart. Being a small town I know that it's going to be hard for them to find another job and the guilt of being the reason for their hardship is weighing heavily on my shoulders. I know that my family will come out of this ok because of our other business that is doing well and that makes me feel even more guilty. The decision to close wasn't mine alone, it was a family decision but I still feel guilty.
    If I'm going to be honest, I was just sick of worrying about it and I still am. The shop wasn't doing well, it was beginning to negatively affect our other shop and I could see the strain it was putting on my parents, who are at the age now when they should be enjoying life. My folks have worked hard their entire life, sacrificed so much for my brother and myself and I just want them to be able to start living without the worry of a struggling business. With the shop closing it has reduced the pressure on them and my brother and myself can run our other shop together. I know loosing the shop will be hard on my brother because he loved it so much but I hope that be can find his place at our other shop.

    So, I am a coward, I have been avoiding the 3 girls who are loosing their jobs, now you may think that 3 people loosing their jobs isn't a big deal but these are good people, great friends and loyal workers, I just don't know what to say to them.

    So my question to all you lovely people here is simple, how do I let myself release the guilt I am feeling?

    Thank you all for listening and I wish you all the best on your individual journeys.

    JinxyWolf
    1 x
    Mona58
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1130
    Joined: Sun Oct 15, 2017 12:44 pm

    Re: 12 Months of Freedom..And Lovin' Every Minute

    Sat Apr 27, 2019 8:12 am

    Hi Jinky '

    I thought about post last night, There is no easy answer, l don't want to say "don't feel guilty" "-because feelings are genuine emotions BUT... l don't think the word is the right word in your circumstances.

    You are human and the feeling of overwhelming sadness shows that you CARE. Some things in life are beyond our control.

    "Running away" from problems is something we gamblers seem to have. Having once hidden in the D, Dens we're now having to deal with the issues we face.

    All you can say to those girls is "I'm sorry" and .-.-. no-one knows yet the answer... We always think the worse. I am sure they know it is not something you could control in this world where many small businesses fold.

    All the best on your journey

    Mona
    1 x
    A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
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    JinxyWolf
    Senior Member
    Posts: 355
    Joined: Wed Feb 15, 2017 8:51 pm

    Re: 12 Months of Freedom..And Lovin' Every Minute

    Sat Apr 27, 2019 10:47 pm

    Hey Mona,

    Thanks for replying, I really appreciate it.

    Intellectually I know that it isn't my fault, I'm just struggling emotionally. I know these girls well and also know that they understand the circumstances surrounding the closure but I can't help but feel helpless.

    I am one who puts all the blame on my own shoulders, and feels responsible for everyone around me and have been that way my entire life. Sometimes I wish that I didn't care so much, it would be easier. I'm not sure why I care so much, too much, it weighs on me everyday. Caring is good I know but I take way too much responsibility for the happiness of those around me. I think that's why I gambled, I could finally let go of all that responsibility I was carrying and focus on something else. I'm not even sure this is making sense, it's kinda hard to put into words.

    So I will battle through as all ways, one day at a time.

    Be Well

    JinxyWolf
    1 x
    Mona58
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1130
    Joined: Sun Oct 15, 2017 12:44 pm

    Re: 12 Months of Freedom..And Lovin' Every Minute

    Sun Apr 28, 2019 7:58 am

    Hi Jinky,

    I do understand. I've faced issues similar and I guess it just comes down to that we care. It took me a long time to ease back on taking things too strongly to heart. Time does heal and as you say got to battle through. And be grateful you have come far in recovery and able to feel these sadness'es naturally.

    . -. after l wrote the above paragraph , went and made a cuppa and thought about those times ,..then it hit me .... I think its the feelings of "grieving"...

    stay strong

    Mona
    1 x
    A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
    Menz189
    Junior Member
    Posts: 2
    Joined: Mon Dec 26, 2016 6:52 pm

    Re: 12 Months of Freedom..And Lovin' Every Minute

    Sun Apr 28, 2019 10:35 pm

    Congratulations Jinxywolf :);
    You've done really well
    0 x
    Annie1741
    Junior Member
    Posts: 12
    Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2017 7:20 am

    Re: 12 Months of Freedom..And Lovin' Every Minute

    Tue Apr 30, 2019 6:09 pm

    Hi

    I've spent all day reading yours and other's posts as I am in a world of hurt right now.

    I think you are an empath, and as such will feel deeply the pain of the 3 people losing their jobs. I don't have any answers other than to be yourself and they will see and know it is not your doing. Life goes on. Regardless of good or bad situations, and good or bad decisions.

    I'm telling myself that today because I don't think things can get much worse for me.

    Thank you for being here and being so inspiring - you are doing good - not only for yourself, but for others as well.

    Annie x
    1 x
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    JinxyWolf
    Senior Member
    Posts: 355
    Joined: Wed Feb 15, 2017 8:51 pm

    Re: 12 Months of Freedom..And Lovin' Every Minute

    Tue Apr 30, 2019 7:25 pm

    I Annie and Welcome,

    Thank you for your input, it is much appreciated.

    Things have settled a bit and I'm in a much better place now. I think just by letting it out and putting what I was feeling down in words helped a lot.

    Your right, Life does go on and all we can do is try and learn from our mistake and keep moving forward. Life can be hard, things fall apart and some days you feel like your whole world is crumbling, but then there are they days when all you see is sunshine, the laughter of your friends and family and you can't help but smile. These are they days you remember, the days you hold onto and the further you get from gambling the more days like these you will have.

    I wish you the best on your journey Annie and if you need anyone to lean on in those dark days we here on this forum are here for you.

    JinxyWolf
    2 x
    Mona58
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1130
    Joined: Sun Oct 15, 2017 12:44 pm

    Re: 12 Months of Freedom..And Lovin' Every Minute

    Tue Apr 30, 2019 10:10 pm

    The thing about being gamble free is how much more quickly we recover from the issues we face in life because we are stronger and able to think more rationally and clearly.
    2 x
    A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
    Annie1741
    Junior Member
    Posts: 12
    Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2017 7:20 am

    Re: 12 Months of Freedom..And Lovin' Every Minute

    Wed May 01, 2019 7:59 am

    Thanks you guys, I think I am at my lowest point right now, I am desperate for things to improve, and I guess that is up to me!

    You give me hope, so thank you.

    Annie
    1 x

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