Payday blues...

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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Mona58 » Tue Nov 07, 2017 7:31 am

It was lovely to see the forum come alive last night I went to bed really happy!

I had kept busy yesterday rearranged some furniture and cleaned out the fridge which I am swapping with my daughter for her smaller one.

Hope people stay especially strong today. l am not a fan of horse racing and over the years had come to see it as inhumane ... the poor horses .... all for what?

Mona happily entering day Twenty Four!
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
Mona58
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Mona58 » Mon Nov 06, 2017 6:37 am

Day 23 begins .

It seems to have gotten to a point where I am havIng more time on my hands and need to keep busy. I have that fear of relapse which makes me nervous and I think affects my quitting smoking I will need to work my mind harder to not over think things and keep strong.

Mona
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
Mona58
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Mona58 » Sun Nov 05, 2017 8:05 am

Thanks Spring

yes! 3 whole weeks done.. and a small savings account! Being able to imagine this steadily growing is exciting which is why I am getting disappointed re the smoking part. l guess I have to rein myself back and focus on the ONE day one step at a time!

l have some family issues that worries me. There's nothing I can do about but it is hard not to let it consume me at times. ... It really bugged me yesterday too! Woke up around midnight not being able to sleep... so got up to make a cuppa herbal tea and had to laugh it was a full moon! lol. I love looking at the full moon, had my cuppa and slept soundly after that,

Thanks for your encouragement spring!

Mona in day Twenty Two!
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
Mona58
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Springhope » Sat Nov 04, 2017 8:52 pm

21 days thats 3 whole weeks!

You are doing great!

Dont be to hard on yourself about the cigarettes i cant even imagine giving up 2 things at the same time.

Remain strong!
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Mona58 » Sat Nov 04, 2017 12:00 pm

Day 21 .
Am not feeling so good today, It's more the urge for a cigarette that's bothering me, which is back to day one as I had a couple yesterday. Keeping busy and staying home this weekend.

Had been reading old posts since early morning, still feeling strong and determined to stay away from pokies. Thanks to people who posted.

Mona
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
Mona58
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Mona58 » Fri Nov 03, 2017 3:06 pm

Day 20 went well. Got into the Xmas spirit ... sorting and bagging Xmas decorations. It wasn't a pleasant morning to start with ... read posts this morning and felt quite lost ... I think I'm disappointed about the smoking bit, starting to feel the withdrawals and sort of scared that they might cause me to relapse... but will fight on .

Mona
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
Mona58
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Mona58 » Thu Nov 02, 2017 5:27 pm

Day 19 went well. Did not think about Pokies but talked a bit more with daughter about the online gambling and betting apps that are ruining many families.

It feels good to have money in the bank and not wanting to spend it!

Mona in day 19 GF tired but happy
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
Mona58
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Mona58 » Wed Nov 01, 2017 8:05 pm

Day 18 went well. I went to Bunnings and Op-shops. I did not have to walk past the venues but I did look towards it and it was just a building its signs covered by trees I felt nothing! I've been thinking about getting back into sewing. It is cheap nowadays to buy clothes than to sew. I've made rag dolls that need clothes and collected handmade dolls from op 'shops over the years- not suitable for my grandsons LoL- BUT I'm now thinking I could fix them up and donate them.

Mona in day 18 GF
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
Mona58
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Mona58 » Wed Nov 01, 2017 8:51 am

Last night I was thinking about DFP's comment on ''the disease might have a go at me tomorrow" ... I guess it probably will for the rest of my .-and our ... life.

As an alcoholic in my 14th year of recovery I had a really bad time earlier in the year and was quite shocked to get a scent of alcohol I had been told about it by my sponsor but to actually experience it made me realise how vulnerable we are to relapse no matter how far we've progressed in recovery.

(I've had a rethink and removed a section!) It's a complicated situation... I always question the use of the word "disease" but I guess we are all entitled to our opinions on how we understand our own behaviours and reasons for our problems. I do think that no matter ones choice of word it all comes down to realising we have a problem and need to fix it.

"Our greatest glory is not in never failing But in rIsing up every time we fail"
by Ralph Waldo Emerson in a little book on HOPE quotations. l love little books they fill the gaps atop the big books on the shelf!

Mona in day 18 ... feeling wonderful! (did I really think that?... feels good!)
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
Mona58
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Mona58 » Tue Oct 31, 2017 7:50 pm

Thanks DFP.

Not planning to take that path tomorrow! Will keep practicng to "surf the urge"... having experienced today I'm feeling more prepared and hopefully it won't be as bad ...

Mona
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
Mona58
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