Payday blues...

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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Jeddie » Fri Nov 10, 2017 3:23 pm

Mona, thinking is part of the healing. Before all you thought of was pokies and problems. Now you can think of other things. Keep it up.
IN GAMBLING THE MANY MUST LOSE IN ORDER THAT THE FEW MAY WIN
George Bernard Shaw
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Mona58 » Fri Nov 10, 2017 7:19 am

Day 27

Read this mornings posts. I'm actually feeling strangely "calm" at moment. Had breakfast and went for a morning walk (to get smokes bugger! l'm going to have to set a serious date to quit once and for all). l was thinking about yesterday when I decided to go to Flinders street station to change trains rather than Richmond. I stepped out of the station (yeah to have a bloody smoke! shut up!). Looking across the river ... at the Eureka building was interesting . I thought about honey, money, gold, Art and history. Train went pass the Crown... I thought about it being filled with people... made me sad really but couldn't think much further than that.

Money... hurts people .-I don't know what I'm thinking.. no that's not right .. I know what I'm thinking but dont't know what to write! l was thinking of how this morning watching the weather report on 7 ... didn't the guy promote some gambling app or something for like 50 seconds and ended with "gamble responsibily" in the last 10 seconds or less! This is not good! What has become of life?

All I can do is take care of ME!

Mona ... thinking too much!
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby DFP » Thu Nov 09, 2017 9:36 pm

Congratulations Mona. What a great GF day. Stay strong, stay focused, keep working hard, don't forget, stay GF!! I'm right there with you, enjoying my GF experiences.
Always a 'work in progress'
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Mona58 » Thu Nov 09, 2017 7:49 pm

Day 26 ...What a day!

I went to daughters and it was a long trip but I enjoyed the conversation that was happening in my head about your stories .

l brought a nice chocolate mousse cake from the cheesecake shop, which l sadly walked pass when l used to gamble. My daughter was in a mood when I arrived, so I sorta had to let her be. Made a cuppa, did her dishes (she purposely leaves them for me! LOL). Had a slice of choc cake. Got a sugar hit. And played at being a Ninja turtle with grandson ... donning a mask running amok karate chopping and kicking the air. Daughter came good after a bit and she talked and I Iistened she talked and I said something she talked and I laughed and she laughed.

My minds tired now! It's been a really great GF day!

Mona ... tired happy ...(no Ninja dreams Please!)

(It was a flowery purple-white daisy. l decided to give to daughter today. l'll get myself another one tomorrow... )
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Mona58 » Thu Nov 09, 2017 6:26 am

Thank you Janan and DFP,

I am short on time this morning and will post in depth later.

Hang in there Janan... do everything you can TODAY ... Yesterday is gone... Tomorrow is tomorrow it might rain.

Mona in day Twenty six... ready to start the day!
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Janan » Wed Nov 08, 2017 11:44 pm

Mona58 wrote:Hey I just noticed I've become a senior member! Yay! that felt exciting!

I know I've said it a few times but am so glad to have found this site and really appreciate all your input! Penning your ups and downs, your journeys, your encouragment and support for each other is priceless!

Stay strong and Gamble free!

Mona on the evening of day 25 GF



Congratulations Mona!!

And keep posting, like DFP said, and his reasons are good, but I have a different reason to want you to keep posting. I find you very motivational! You seem like a really nice person and some how you manage to make even hellish feelings and experiences seem positive and that's really inspiring! I have no idea how you do it. I just posted a little keyboard diarrhea about my problems and I sound like a wimp who can't handle normal life. You post about your problems and you seem almost happy to have a problem. It's amazing!

Anyway, glad your bad day turned out good! What plant did you get? Something flowery, or something foodie, or something else? Looking forward to hearing how your shop goes next week :-)


Janan - 15 minutes and day 1 will be done
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby DFP » Wed Nov 08, 2017 10:03 pm

Congratulations on your progress Mona. Keep posting. We've all mentioned the challenge of "staying quit" once the memories of the last bad bust fade - and I think regularly posting, reading posts and sharing experiences and memories is a powerful way of reminding us about our problem. It seems to be working for me I'm pleased to say. Day 78 today.
Always a 'work in progress'
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Mona58 » Wed Nov 08, 2017 8:42 pm

Hey I just noticed I've become a senior member! Yay! that felt exciting!

I know I've said it a few times but am so glad to have found this site and really appreciate all your input! Penning your ups and downs, your journeys, your encouragment and support for each other is priceless!

Stay strong and Gamble free!

Mona on the evening of day 25 GF
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
Mona58
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Mona58 » Wed Nov 08, 2017 12:34 pm

Midday of day 25!

l actually feel fine now! Went to Bunnings brought a lovely plant ... looked at other things l will get next "payday" when friend takes me as they were too bulky to carry home... l actually took pictures of them and have a visual shopping list!

As I walked I remembered one of the steps from the Newlife program l used to go to... l don't remember which step it was but that is of no importance...

"PROBLEMS bother me ONLY to the degree I allow them to"

l have these steps on my fridge... its been there for years... and I hardly notice it...?? It seems like I do though.

When I was "angry" earlier today... I did think I wanted to go to the pokies ... but at the same time I did not want to go! It has crossed my mind on occasions that I am "expected" to relapse because it is supposed to be part of the proGress of recovery ... And I think I thought that I should do it now rather than later... But NO I rather not.

Mona all happy again on day Twenty Five *smiles
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Mona58 » Wed Nov 08, 2017 8:52 am

Day Twenty bloody Five!

Am not feeling too good mentally ... I think these issues with THE Family are one of my triggers. I don't know how to deal with it... it has been an almost lifelong issue. NO matter what I do it does not get better but then it can't get worse. l get so so angry l frighten myself! And then feel guilty and think I'm not handling it properly. Only I am responsible for how I feel,,...?? bugger that! Self pity will get me no where !!!

Best take a different route to the Garden today . ...

Mona ... determined ...
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
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