Payday blues...

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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Mona58 » Mon Dec 18, 2017 9:39 am

Checked bank accounts and purse this morning ... not much left ... then realised this is when pokies temptation usually bites! Reminded myself I have everything I need... except the cream for ice cream.

I don't have that urge to gamble ... but still feel vulnerable to walk pass the D-Den. Reading my posts regularly sometimes feels like having to deal with another person in me. It takes a lot of thinking to be kind to myself ... force almost... to caring more about health and mental being.

Mona in day 65 ...
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Mona58 » Sun Dec 17, 2017 12:23 pm

Shopping on Sunday a rare rare luxury indeed... thanks to being gamble free!

It has become my family tradition to serve Christmas breakfast. I feed little grandson pancakes, ice cream choc milk jelly and more ice cream... then send him to his Grandma and Pa's all hyped up! (I'm Nana).

I found a lovely ice cream recipe book "Popsicles'' This year plan to make my own ice-cream by hand... no machines for moi.

I'm extremely excited for Christmas this year ... no guilt ... no shame ... and lots of presents!

Mona on day 64
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Mona58 » Sat Dec 16, 2017 4:40 pm

Only good thing about the meal was not having to do the dishes!

Spend much of the day doing "housework" . Too hot to do anything thing else but stay inside, read watch telly ... It is a nice day actually! Not keen to go shops!

Mona in day 63 GF
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Wits end » Fri Dec 15, 2017 2:51 pm

That meal would generally be nicer and more enjoyable than one from home. That is why we call it a luxury to go out for a meal at a restaurant It is your choice to pay $34 for fish and chips just as it is your choice to put that money in a poker machine. I on average up until 6 weeks ago had feed the pokies at least $1000 every week for 28 Year’s By my calculation that is 1.45 million dollars. But if I was to go out for tea and opened the menu to be faced with extravagant meal prices my irrational brain would tell me to walk out and I probably would. Hopefully one day I will be able to not have to rationalise to myself that it is ok to enjoy life’s luxuries.
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Springhope17 » Fri Dec 15, 2017 2:27 pm

Hi Mona,

Great work yesterday - just another little battle you have now over come!

I am so happy for you.

Im 105 days GF!
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Mona58 » Fri Dec 15, 2017 8:42 am

Thank-you all!

reflectIng on yesterdays event -..

I only knew the toilets in the D. Den and one of the first things I did after I sat down was look around for other toilets ... couldn't find them and told myself to go easy on the water... it wasn't till I went to order did I see them ... phew!

When l picked up the menu and saw the cost of a meal... $ 34 for grilled fish with chips and salad ... I was like what? Its $10 for a pkt of 10 pieces of frozen Bata fish... $3 for a whole lettuce or a mixed bag of salad... $ 3 half kilo Tomatoes . $7 for a bag of potatoes and probably another $11 for other ingredients..

$34 can feed me well for 10 days...

$30 I USED to feed the demons machines...$4 fed myself carrot sticks and 2 min noodles!

Mona in day 62 GF
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
Mona58
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Oregon » Fri Dec 15, 2017 6:21 am

Congrats! Now you know you can fight even the worst temptation.
Don't drop your guard..
Gamble free since 29.05.18
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby DFP » Thu Dec 14, 2017 11:07 pm

Well done Mona. Very well managed. And you've passed a significant milestone as a non-gambler. Great insight into the wastefulness of your past - which you clearly don't want to go back to doing. Well done!!!
Always a 'work in progress'
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Jeddie » Thu Dec 14, 2017 3:56 pm

Hallo, very very well done 🎉🎉🎉

You beat the demon today and you will next time as well. Stand tall and walk proud😀


75 days gf today
IN GAMBLING THE MANY MUST LOSE IN ORDER THAT THE FEW MAY WIN
George Bernard Shaw
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Mona58 » Thu Dec 14, 2017 2:54 pm

Gosh that hurt! I'm still trying to get enough air into my lungs!
I chose a seat as far end of the table. If I looked left I'd see the Poki sign. What upset me most was seeing the ATM I'd drawn money from... how many $2.50 fees I'd paid for the number of times l withdrew $20 ... It was really hard not to think about those wasted days and money.

I'm just so relieved l no longer want to gamble.

Mona in day 61 GF
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
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