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  • Hello, help.

    For people making and maintaining change in their gambling. Connect, ask questions, offer advice, and share your story in here. If you are new to the site drop in and say hello!
    helpkitty
    Junior Member
    Posts: 2
    Joined: Sun Dec 02, 2012 3:40 pm

    Hello, help.

    Sun Dec 02, 2012 3:53 pm

    I'm new here. Not new to gambling though, or even to trying to get help. I dont know why I haven't succeeded when I see other people beat their gambling addiction. I was in counselling for a while but in the end I started pretending to my counsellor that I wasn't gambling anymore when I was.

    I have many problems, long history of mental illness. It seems that I would get thrown from counsellor to counsellor, the mental health ones thought I should see a gambling one for my problems, the gambling one thought I should see a mental health one for my problems. Which came first? Well the mental health ones actually that's documented, only problem is after years of trying to get help I can't seem to be treated. I don't see anyone anymore, I am not as bad as I used to be, I still gamble though.

    My gambling has gotton so out of control. I"m 31, I started gambling in 2006 or 2007 I can't even remember now. Since that time I"ve had a few periods of 'quitting' I think the longest i lasted was 4.5 months now. I tried GA, it wasn't for me. I self excluded but I just went to more places. I don't have a lot of friends and I have kept this secret from everyone, including family, I'm sure they suspect something though, but they live far from me so it has been easier to hide. Same with my friends.

    My gambling problem has really really esculated in the last 18 months. I haven't had more than a couple of weeks off gambling in that time. My debt is out of control. I basically live off cash advances. I'd live off credit cards but those have all been maxed out for ages now, recently I was able to obtain a new one and that was maxed out in less than a week. I have been to problem gambling financial counsellor. They told me they would help but due to a series of unfortunate events that didn't work out (my first counsellor went on unexpected leave and my case fell through the cracks, and then when i got another counsellor, he told me he'd help me, but then I had to move states, and he said he was continuing with my case but in the end he left his job and the his replacement said they could no longer help me). I was still gambling the whole time anyway so what does it matter I suppose.

    I don't want to do this anymore but I don't know how to stop. Other people seem to have succeeded where I have failed. It makes me feel trapped. I don't know why I can't rid myself of this horible addiction after all this time. I tried GA but I couldn't feel at ease there, it is not something I felt comfortable continuing with.

    I am completely suffering this alone, the only person that knows is a girl I met through gambling and we both have serious problems. No one else in my entire life knows and I feel I have this horrible secret. Don't know what to do.
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    User avatar
    AnnaB (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 363
    Joined: Wed Oct 24, 2012 2:15 pm

    RE: Hello, help.

    Sun Dec 02, 2012 9:37 pm

    Hello helpkitty,Welcome! Thanks for sharing what has been happening. I think lots of our members will be able to relate to what you have written and the challenges of trying to get on top of a gambling problem. Hang in there!The community of members and moderators are here to provide any support/help they can. I'd also encourage you to have a look at website too, there's lots of info and tools...You aren't alone.Stay in touch,Anna (moderator)
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    User avatar
    Nicki
    Junior Member
    Posts: 12
    Joined: Thu Jan 10, 2013 1:30 pm

    RE: Hello, help.

    Thu Jan 10, 2013 1:48 pm

    Hi Kitty - hang in there - we're in it together! Nicki
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    Anna
    Junior Member
    Posts: 21
    Joined: Thu Jan 03, 2013 3:02 pm

    RE: Hello, help.

    Thu Jan 10, 2013 4:22 pm

    Hey there

    The first step you have taken which is admitting you have this problem.

    Do you think if you hide it from family and friends it wont be there? I have not hidden my gambling issue but i have taken it out on people when i lost etc. The thing is gambling eats at you, not only your wallet but your personality too.

    I'm going through the exact same as you and have quit once before for 3 months but now i have lost over $40,000.00 in the last year or so which is about all my wages, loans, credit cards that i could possibly get and max out.

    I spoke to an online councellor last week and this has helped me to try and steer myself back on track.

    If you have a friend in the same situation perhaps you both should try to get a new hobby together. Thats firstly what i have done is keep try to keep myself busy with other tasks so I dont have time to gamble. Just a suggestion, i'm definitly no expert because struggling myslef.

    Good luck. You're not alone
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    Raveen
    Junior Member
    Posts: 3
    Joined: Fri Jan 04, 2013 4:55 pm

    RE: Hello, help.

    Fri Jan 11, 2013 3:17 pm

    Hang in there. Your not alone
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    User avatar
    Bull
    Member
    Posts: 53
    Joined: Thu Nov 29, 2012 3:53 pm

    RE: Hello, help.

    Mon Jan 14, 2013 3:31 pm

    hello kitty

    there are many of us in the same boat as you (or many of us that have been). It doesn't sound like my own gambling concerns were as bad as yours are, but I do know many friends who are struggling with the decision of whether or not to tell their family of their problem.

    I don't know what the dynamics are of your family but I just want to ask you one question. If you told your family (note: can be just one or two people), would they be willing to help you? If so, do you think the help they can offer is more important than the shame and disappointment you will feel as a result of telling them?

    Have a long hard think about that question. For me, deciding to tell people that loved me about my struggles brought a lot of assistance and without them I couldn't have controlled my gambling. I didn't know how much I needed that assistance at the time. Simply being able to tell someone a burning secret is 'therapy' in itself

    Feel free to chat on here about anything!
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    shim
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Thu Jan 17, 2013 7:05 pm

    RE: Hello, help.

    Thu Jan 17, 2013 7:14 pm

    This is day 1 in recovery for me..gambling owes me long service x 3...i like reading others stories as i its good to know you are not alone in recovery..looking forward to a better life..will update as to how i'm getting along..
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    User avatar
    Bull
    Member
    Posts: 53
    Joined: Thu Nov 29, 2012 3:53 pm

    RE: Hello, help.

    Fri Jan 18, 2013 9:43 am

    shim (17/01/2013)This is day 1 in recovery for me..gambling owes me long service x 3...i like reading others stories as i its good to know you are not alone in recovery..looking forward to a better life..will update as to how i'm getting along..
    Hi Shim

    I've been in "recovery" for a while. Was gambling quite a bit but am happy to say now I think I have a handle on things. The first week for me was the worst. I kept thinking about gambling and looking back on it, I was VERY much on edge for that week. People would talk to me and I just didn't want to hear them. I just wanted to escape to my humble adobe of the poker table.

    It got easier after the first week for me. I just needed to fill the routine in with something else!
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    helpkitty
    Junior Member
    Posts: 2
    Joined: Sun Dec 02, 2012 3:40 pm

    RE: Hello, help.

    Fri Jan 18, 2013 7:57 pm

    Hey EveryoneThanks for all the replies.



    My family wouldn't disown me or anything but would they help me? Well they would probably be sympathetic but wouldn't do anything practically, they live far and when i have told them about serious problems before they have listened keenly but never asked again. That's just how we deal with things or something. SO basically I don't think by hiding my gambling it won't 'be there' but I also think the shame I will feel for having other people know will likely just make the situation even harder to deal with.

    Anyway still gambling. Hope everyone else is doing better than I.
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    User avatar
    BriM
    Senior Member
    Posts: 384
    Joined: Wed Dec 05, 2012 3:05 pm

    RE: Hello, help.

    Mon Jan 21, 2013 9:57 am

    Hey Kitty,

    I know what you mean; some families can find confronting things hard to talk about and so just prefer not to. Still, it's hard when you're hanging onto something you're dealing with by yourself. Have you told anyone apart from your friend since you posted in December? I can imagine you're feeling pretty isolated with this big heavy horrible secret. And it's such a shame that GA and the counsellors you've tried haven't seemed to work. I'm wondering if you have anyone else you can confide in...like Bull pointed out, just telling someone, particularly someone close to you, can be therapy. What do you think?

    Bri
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