Tired and fed up

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Re: Tired and fed up

Postby Giveupforgood » Fri Mar 24, 2017 8:48 pm

Yeah i am trying to do something each day to keep on the right track. I told a close friend today that i was quitting. I will definatley call a counsellor when i return im very keen for this. Im still angry at gambling if that makes sense. I still determined. I dont miss it yet but im sure that will come. Im the most determined ive ever been. I had a friend just tell me he won $1000 tonight on the horses. I would normally want to try the same but i felt sorry for him as he's had some troubles with it over the years too and i told him i felt sorry for him. This is the most determined ive ever been and instead of feeling scared i feel confident
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Re: Tired and fed up

Postby annnie » Fri Mar 24, 2017 6:39 am

Hi Jono,

To be gamble free is the outcome we are all wanting to achieve, the process is about making the necessary changes to be able to get to that point. It's not going to happen to by itself , our ' wanting ' to change is a beginning of the process but not enough to truly succeed and reach our goal. The process of change allows to reduce , control or cease gambling , it entails commitment , implementing strategies, understanding how the brain works, how it has changed , how it needs to be retrained to achieve our goal and support by experienced & skilled professionals in most cases. ( and a damn lot of hard work, frustration, crap days, acceptance, withdrawal, physical & mental health/emotional changes plus many more. ) The addiction is the controller and changing our gambling habits brings us closer to being the one in control rather than the addiction.

We all play with the idea of wanting to change for some time before we make a move to do so, we give it a go on our own and for some they can achieve their goal, others need to go to the next step of the change process with assistance. There are many stairs to climb to reach the level we are wanting to get to and it takes time.

You are now at the ground floor of your journey, you have come to this forum wanting change so go to level 1 , You are making changes , you are thinking more about your gambling and understanding , asking questions, yet struggling . Stay on level 1 until you have made a plan, working with your wife as a support person takes you to level 2. Lapse time, what changes are you going to work on ? You plan to see a counsellor after the holiday, ( another change ) Go to level 3 . Having doubts ? Throw them in the bin and go to level 4. How about making the phone call to arrange an appointment prior to holiday, as that can take you to level 5. etc etc

Each time you do something , no matter how small will make a change. Because of all the **** living in our heads it can be difficult to see things as they really are and hinder our progression. I can see changes being made , yet you are doubting yourself because you had a lapse which can be a part of the recovery process for many of us. How many steps/ levels in the tower are there ? Whatever it takes to reach your goal. It may feel like backward steps are being taken at times but you are really stationery at that level until you recharge, add another strategy and move forward.

So bin the doubts and keep going, you're at Level 5 if you pick up the phone and make that appointment. !! ( and you thought you might have been back on the ground floor )

Enjoy the holiday, focus on your goals, I heard it's a good view up there and that feeling of freedom and being in control cannot be beaten.

take care
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Re: Tired and fed up

Postby Giveupforgood » Wed Mar 22, 2017 6:13 pm

Hi 1dayatatime,
You sound like your a similar age and gamble a similar amount to me. Its great to find people who understand. As mentioned earlier i had a bet already on in the golden slipper and it won....of course it did....i wish it didnt. I took most of the money and played around with a little of it which was fine.....then the day after i had another bet and pretty much everyday since. Now here i am having lost 5k in the last 24hrs feeling **** lonely and defeated once more.
I told my wife today i am going to see a counsellor when we return from holidays (not gambling specific) to get my life straightened ut and back on track as gambling is only one of the issues im dealing with at the moment. She was supportive of this and has noticed the overall decline in me over the little while. That is the light at the end of my tunnel for now. I thought about where i will end up if i keep on the path im headed down today.......the answer is broke, lonely and maybe not even here. Im so keen to stop but so so doubtful that i can. After so many promises to others and myself over the years i just dont know how i can stop or what will make me stop. Feeling so **** and so down.
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Re: Tired and fed up

Postby malvina » Sat Mar 18, 2017 12:53 am

Yes you can't play games with gambling Jonno, you either stop or you don't If you decide to stop you have to completely change your life and break away from all the places that led you to gamble in the first place. You really can't play games with it It's an evil type spirit that is determined to trap you and destroy your life. You either give in to it-or you don't.
If you knew a plane was faulty and would crash you wouldn't get in it would you? you would keep away from it. If a pond was covered with thin ice - you wouldn't skate in it would you?
you would keep away from it to preserve your life.
So if you know that gambling will destroy your life will you go near the venues? if so - WHY?- do you skate with death? have you such a low morale that you think you don't deserve to live in this world?
This is what it is all about Jonno - and why you should stop and keep away from all the venues
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Re: Tired and fed up

Postby Charlotte (facilitator) » Fri Mar 17, 2017 3:06 pm

Hi D,

welcome today, and good on you for making change over the last couple of days. What you say about the pattern of your gambling is all so familiar - it is a vicious cycle that can make us feel trapped. It sounds like the habits are rearing their heads this arvo, but it also sounds like you really want to continue on the path of change.... I'm wondering how you might manage the urges/habits? What's worked in the past? No matter how strong the urge - remind yourself that it will pass. I know that Friday can be especially tricky, so I hope you find a way of keeping the demon at bay.

All the best, and keep us posted.

Charlotte
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Re: Tired and fed up

Postby 1dayatatime » Fri Mar 17, 2017 2:40 pm

Hi annie,

The kind words of encouragement are much appreciated.

I have just been reading through some of the posts and forums. I might start my own forums later on, at this point I'm just happy to have found this website and allowing myself some time to process the change. I also do intend on calling the hotline, just had some other things getting in the way.

Its now friday afternoon, my habits are telling me where I should be, and I have the access to funds......but today is different.

Im stronger today because of you all.
Im stronger today because Im making a choice NOT to.
Im stronger today because its going to make tomorrow easier.

I just wanted to come online and see how its helps my thought process. Its good to know I dont have to be hiding in a corner pushing $$$ into the throats of the devil.

I cant say Ill feel this confident everyday( its only day 2), but now its in writing Ill come back and re-read this to myself for future strength.

D.
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Re: Tired and fed up

Postby annnie » Fri Mar 17, 2017 8:17 am

Hi 1dayatatime,

Welcome, sounds like you're ready to give this a go. It is so worth it and we can help you on your journey. I remember when I first found this site, I was feeling so alone & not knowing where to start until I began reading posts and rang the help line . From that phone call my life has changed for the better and being at rock bottom from 20 years or so of gambling and losing absolutely everything . I now can see a future no richer in wealth but richer in so many other areas. Over the years small amounts being wasted turned into much larger amounts such as yours. I was out of control, the brain was off the rails and until playing the machines was reduced and finally ceased could I then work my way out of the mess and begin to rebuild my life. I asked myself what do I need to become gamble free, I needed support I could not do it alone, I don't have a partner so I started calling GH and asked for it and they responded and still do.

Start up a post , nothing will surprise us , ask questions, and we will all help you on your journey, take up all offers of support. They don't call it a challenge for nothing. It' tough , hard work , there will be good days and struggle days , there will be someone here for you.

You can do it, a better life can be achieved.

Take care
annnie
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Re: Tired and fed up

Postby 1dayatatime » Thu Mar 16, 2017 12:33 pm

Hi all,

I was caught by the subject....tired and fed up!!! thats me too.

Im 31, male and in a place that isnt all that great. I too have been throwing thousands in the pokies. Same old story, same result.

I just read through the thread, i just wanted to say it's nice to feel understood, without even knowing you. I have felt for a long time that this demon has been inside me and I cant get it out. I'll put on the brave face, yell and scream at myself while driving home. Just angry for letting myself get to this point. However I guess there comes a time when enough is enough.

This past week I've spent about 5k....and this isnt a competition, but Im just spilling the beans to someone, anyone who reads this. My wife doesnt yet know the full extent of the issue. So that is scaring the living F#%^ out of me. There is a chance this time will break us apart....

I just want it to stop.

Im not sure how others feel about it but this is what I go through. Please share if its similar.

Ill contain the urges for a while, sometimes without any effort. That might be a day or a month without a worry. Next thing your battling your own head with an urge to gamble. The 2 opposing arguments, do you or dont you... Then you gamble. I have come to relise that I'm destine to lose. I might win a bit here and there, but 99% of the time ill leave a venue broke.....I am not capable of leaving with any notes in my wallet.

Then the fun head games start, Ill be good, I wont do it again, It will be different next week. Ill say all this positive crap, try and be positive, try and change the habit, but then I get back on the stool and slide 50 after 50 after 50......

Round and round it goes.

So this is where I have ended up, and hopefully I can break the chains this time......for good.

I'm thankful that I have at least got time ahead of me to try.

D.
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Re: Tired and fed up

Postby User 586eee5282d07 » Thu Mar 16, 2017 6:33 am

Hi jonno, i agree with pamela. i know for me personally if i dont abstain completely i will be back in the den of despair.

I would either try to chase losses or gamble wins; either option isn't good. My sister in law went to vegas last year and she is very anti gambling. She only went because of others she was travelling with. she ended up loving it and says it is amazing place and she didn't gamble at all. Guess there are things to do there apart from gambling:-) be intersted to hear others opinions. Have a good day..sandra
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Re: Tired and fed up

Postby pamela » Wed Mar 15, 2017 9:56 pm

Hi Jonno,I understand what you are going through but my opinion is either you abstain completely or you gamble.And for someone who has admitted to a problem is limiting your bet still right for you? As you said with thr Golden Slipper you are afraid you will want to reinvest so to me that is sending out warning bells.As for Vegas..I reckon I could put that $500 to better use , so I guess you have to decide if you really want to stop or if you want to gamble .Nothing wrong with saying no...
But in saying that, I hope you have a great holiday but you have choices to make
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