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  • New Sad Member 😞

    For people making and maintaining change in their gambling. Connect, ask questions, offer advice, and share your story in here. If you are new to the site drop in and say hello!
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Thu Jun 09, 2016 1:27 am

    New Sad Member 😞

    Thu Jun 09, 2016 1:41 am

    Hi All
    I'm soooo angry with myself😡 I have always been so careful with money and a good saver. The past year I have these urges to sit in front of a stupid machine and feed it mine and my husbands hard earned money. I feel so guilty but continue to do it anyway😞 I have regressed to an irresponsible teenager even sneaking out after my husband goes to sleep and taking his credit card to do cash advance😞😞. I feel like this has taken control of me and can't tell my husband cause he has no addictions 😀 Unlike me !!
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    Senior Member
    Posts: 141
    Joined: Sat Sep 19, 2015 7:46 pm

    Re: New Sad Member 😞

    Thu Jun 09, 2016 6:47 am

    Hi Helen you are realising the awful effects of gambling and we are all the same here so we definitely understand your sadness.
    It's very hard to deal with but once you accept the machines are designed to make the venues money it becomes easier to stay strong. If you do win then it goes back at some stage plus more. It will never be a big enough win to stop.
    There's a saying "if gamblers were winners, Las Vegas would still be a desert" and another is "a win is a loan, a loss is forever"

    Be kind to yourself - you're a good person making bad decisions because the machines are designed to addict.

    Tell yourself 'not today' each morning. (Saying "never again" sounds daunting. A day at a time is manageable.)
    Just today I will not gamble...
    Limit access to money.
    Keep busy (spare time is a trigger)

    I wish you all the best and this forum will help you immensely I'm sure. I am 12 days away from machines and the people here have been so kind and supportive. Keep reading their posts and updating your progress and you'll feel happier I can assure you 😊
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    Senior Member
    Posts: 1838
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: New Sad Member 😞

    Thu Jun 09, 2016 8:42 am

    Hi Helen..we have all been where you are today.but there is hope..try and get some professional help..as hard as it is.come clean to your husband as that is the first step..I found once I admitted my problem everything became easier after that..it is tough at first but we can retrain our brain to stop us thinking we need poker machines for entertainment..we never win.they are the winners but you can change that..I was addicted for over 20 years but have been gamble free for over 10 months now..there is always hope and we will help you here all we can..good luck
    0 x
    Posts: 60
    Joined: Thu May 19, 2016 4:57 pm

    Re: New Sad Member 😞

    Thu Jun 09, 2016 9:55 am

    Hey there Helen,

    You are commencing the realisation that you have a gambling addiction. The next step is admitting that you DO have a gambling addiction, very important this piece. Pamela and Kristine's words are something you should read again, slowly, because it will help you knowing that your feelings are not alien and others have felt similar destructive thoughts and been able to turn their lives around.

    Is it early days with your gambling addiction Helen? If "yes" you have started to adjust early by reaching out on this forum which is a good thing. Take the advice and get professional counselling assistance and work out from there. ll strength to you Helen.
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    Senior Member
    Posts: 206
    Joined: Thu Feb 11, 2016 8:28 pm

    Re: New Sad Member 😞

    Thu Jun 09, 2016 4:35 pm

    hi helen,, i know its hard to reach out for help but its the best thing to help beat the addiction to the pokie machines,, i dont think it can be done just by yourself as i tried many times and i always went back,,like you i was always a good saver , careful with money but as soon as the addiction takes hold that all goes out the window and i also thought i had turned back in to a teenager as i was sneaking home all hours of the morning so i didnt wake up my daughters [ they are in their twenties] eventually everything came to a head and i ended up telling them and my older daughter organised counselling for me,, it was good to tell them as they already knew i was addicted but did not know how to approach me about it as i got really defensive and pushed them away for a while,,, this forum is great as everyone is supportive,,i have also self excluded so i can not go back as i found myself not wanting to go but still going anyway and i also have no credit cards now as like you i was only using them for cash advances,,goodluck helen some days are a struggle but they are still better than gambling :)
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    Miette (facilitator)
    Posts: 59
    Joined: Fri Mar 18, 2016 11:11 am

    Re: New Sad Member 😞

    Sat Jun 11, 2016 4:03 pm

    Hi Helen,
    Thank you for sharing where you are at, it sounds like a really tough space to be in. Do you have any supports around you at the moment? Any friends, or professional supports? It is important that you know there are many different options for support out there, a good place being Gambler's Helpline 1800 858 858 as a start.
    This is a good place to engage in connection with people that can relate to you and your experience.

    Thank you for the quotes Kristine! They are quite powerful.
    Thank you everyone for your support you have offered Helen.
    Take care,
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    Junior Member
    Posts: 16
    Joined: Tue Jun 21, 2016 2:23 am

    Re: New Sad Member 😞

    Tue Jun 21, 2016 2:46 am

    Please don't wait like I did, make an appointment with a Counsellor, they are amazing people. Wish I had done it sooner. Tell your husband, I know it's hard but you need his support. My husband has always been a great support to me. We all make mistakes. These machines are wired to take our money, and they have taken from a lot of us, however we can fight back. Stay strong, we are all here for you .
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    Shirley (facilitator)
    Posts: 84
    Joined: Fri Mar 18, 2016 11:09 am

    Re: New Sad Member 😞

    Tue Jun 21, 2016 6:16 pm

    Hi Helen,

    It isn't easy to admit that things have spiralled out of our control but it sounds like you are ready to start taking some control back. Calling Gamblers Help would certainly be a great step towards seeking some support to understand and manage your triggers and urges. The service is available 24/7 and counsellors can assist with referrals and advice. All the best moving forward.
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    Re: New Sad Member 😞

    Thu Aug 04, 2016 2:37 pm

    You can't be a new sad member. Every body gave you an advance, I hope you be happy :)
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