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  • New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

    For people making and maintaining change in their gambling. Connect, ask questions, offer advice, and share your story in here. If you are new to the site drop in and say hello!
    kosmok
    Junior Member
    Posts: 8
    Joined: Wed Feb 04, 2015 11:20 am

    Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

    Wed Jun 22, 2022 8:24 am

    HI all

    I am back again, my wife found out my problem and has given me one last chance... Im going to see a specialised therapist next week (earliest booking possible) and mantain the work. I cant crack again, ill lose everything.

    been battling this since I was 17 now 33, so its hard.

    I saw everyone else posting so I should probably give some more info.

    I am relatively successful, have always gambled pretty much whataever I have access too in my savings, but never debt (not sure why just never did), we earn very good money so i should be so much further ahead than I am.

    My wife is so so supportive but this will be the last time, we have 1 daughter and another on the way, i need to stop. My wife is more upset about the lying than the actual money (the money is still an issue obviously)

    I will keep updating when I can
    1 x
    Pikachu
    Moderator
    Posts: 76
    Joined: Wed Jun 08, 2022 3:48 pm

    Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

    Wed Jun 22, 2022 9:41 am

    Good morning everyone~ How are we all travelling on the journey?

    Warm welcome to our new members @McGavin @Adavo73 @kazman28 @rawbee @Sam2022 @AdrienAdro @Skillz12821
    This forum is a non-judgemental space for all of you to connect and support each other. Feel free to look around for some inspiring stories.

    If you need help or extra information about anything, simply @ myself or @Printemps :);
    0 x
    Anonymous1999
    Junior Member
    Posts: 2
    Joined: Thu Feb 22, 2018 12:29 am

    Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

    Thu Jun 23, 2022 12:25 am

    Hi all,

    I’m assuming this is where I post but I’m honestly not sure!

    It’s currently 12:16am where I am, and I’ve yet again just blown the last of my money while lying next to my sleeping partner.

    I’m 23 and gambling has been an on and off issue since I was 18.

    For someone my age, I’ve been incredibly successful, and I resonate a bit with @kosmok story below. I’m obviously not as far along in life, but I feel like I understand.

    I’m one of nine kids, I’m the only one to ever finish school and I went on to complete a business degree at university. I know hold a full-time position as a manager for a publicly listed company.

    Less than 6-months ago I purchased my second property with my partner.

    I feel a huge external pressure and I honestly don’t know why, I can’t pinpoint anyone putting it on me.

    My constant gambling has held us back as a couple, and I see the way it hurts my partner, she’s given me more chances than I deserve.

    I stopped cold turkey for about 6-months while we went through the process of applying for our home loan for this property, but as soon as the loan was approved and all of my bank statements had been submitted, I relapsed, and this is despite having any urges through the entire 6-months, it was literally just something as simple as a betting ad on TV that triggered the first deposit.

    I’m frustrated because it’s having a real impact on my relationship, and it’s delayed goals I had of marriage and international travel with my partner.

    I’ve resorted to selling a bunch of my collectables to try and deposit any funds I have available, but I just keep digging myself into a bigger hole.

    We have a weekend consisting of a few family events this weekend, and I’m stressing out that my account is currently -$50, I gamble emotionally and this pressure has seen me make bad decisions constantly.

    Any help/tips/advice would be greatly appreciated!
    1 x
    Anonymous1999
    Junior Member
    Posts: 2
    Joined: Thu Feb 22, 2018 12:29 am

    Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

    Thu Jun 23, 2022 12:33 am

    Just to add to that, I have now Permanently closed my account with one bookie (I’ve done this with two others recently).

    So, I now only hold my TAB account which does have a deposit limit of $100/day, it’s a start I guess.

    I just feel like it’s too late and I have no idea how to explain this to my partner.
    0 x
    Pikachu
    Moderator
    Posts: 76
    Joined: Wed Jun 08, 2022 3:48 pm

    Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

    Thu Jun 23, 2022 9:24 am

    Good morning Everyone~ How we all doing?

    Warm welcome to the new members! @Super365 @SorryMom @Fonzy @Csams
    Well done on joining the community. This is a non-judgemental space for you all to connect and support each other.

    If you need any extra support, just @ myself or @Printemps .
    0 x
    kosmok
    Junior Member
    Posts: 8
    Joined: Wed Feb 04, 2015 11:20 am

    Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

    Thu Jun 23, 2022 9:29 am

    Anonymous1999 wrote:
    Thu Jun 23, 2022 12:33 am
    Just to add to that, I have now Permanently closed my account with one bookie (I’ve done this with two others recently).

    So, I now only hold my TAB account which does have a deposit limit of $100/day, it’s a start I guess.

    I just feel like it’s too late and I have no idea how to explain this to my partner.
    I think its probably hard to accept this, but a lot of us (probably all in fact) gamblers cant do casual gambling, so I would close all accounts and not have access to anything.

    I deleted all banking apps from my phone and currently in the process (with therapist) of self excluding from all my locals (pokies is my choice).

    We have something different to other people, like an alcoholic and how they cant just have one drink, we have to accept we cant have one bet.

    Youll get through it, ive gone years without gambling but I have relapsed now again, and it has to be for the last time or I will lose my child and my wife my soulmate
    0 x
    Pikachu
    Moderator
    Posts: 76
    Joined: Wed Jun 08, 2022 3:48 pm

    Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

    Thu Jun 23, 2022 9:40 am

    Hi @kosmok ,
    First of all, thank you for sharing your story and thank you for all tips you shared.
    I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. It sounds like you care about your wife and your family a lot. So, well done on taking the steps towards change!

    Specialised therapy is a good idea for some professional support. But this forum is also here for you when you need some support from your peers. There are some other possible way could help you move forward. Many people find self-exclusion helpful. Let me or @Printemps know if you would like more information about that.

    Keep us posted~
    0 x
    Pikachu
    Moderator
    Posts: 76
    Joined: Wed Jun 08, 2022 3:48 pm

    Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

    Thu Jun 23, 2022 9:54 am

    Hi @Anonymous1999,
    Thank you for sharing your story.
    It is amazing how you have achieved so much and all the plans you have with your partner sounds really nice. Maybe all these can be something you really look forward to and can help you with the urges? Trying to have some visual cues such as print out a photo of a place you both want to go, or have a see-through piggy bank to put some money in as your travel fund whenever you manage to overcome the urge. Being able to visually see things can help make them feel real and achievable.
    Me, @Printemps and the community are here to help you to success in your journey, so don't hesitate to ask for help~
    0 x
    Printemps
    Moderator
    Posts: 837
    Joined: Tue May 04, 2021 8:12 am

    Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

    Sat Jun 25, 2022 11:54 am

    Good morning and welcome to our newest members @M91 @Nanjingling @Katraff1961 @2Bfresh @Ella@12 @Paula04 and @MMan

    These forums are a judgement free space for you to connect with others and find support and advice. You can use this thread to introduce yourself, just a little about you (keeping it anonymous!), your goals and what you're looking for today!

    You might find it useful to check out the 100 Day Challenge threads to see how others are approaching their journeys, or the Success Stories for some inspiration :o
    0 x
    Hoff
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Mon Jun 27, 2022 9:12 am

    Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

    Mon Jun 27, 2022 9:20 am

    Hey, new here! Just wanted to surround myself with people who understand the issue and want to also make themselves better. I've been on and off for sometime. I grew up in an area where gambling was frequent and seemed like a cool thing to do at a young age. I'm 39 now and it's gotten bad over the past 3 years. I owe over 50K and I've recently decided it's time to stop. I've quit before but relapsed within 2 years. I hope and pray this is it and am in the works to setup counseling sessions for the first time. Biggest regret is knowing where I could be in life right now without it, but I'm not gonna cry over that because as of recent I'm excited to make a huge change in my life. I know it will take time to build momentum, but it has to start now!! Thoughts and prayers for success to those of you in the same shoes!!!
    2 x

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