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  • Start to a new life

    For people making and maintaining change in their gambling. Connect, ask questions, offer advice, and share your story in here. If you are new to the site drop in and say hello!
    Lmk1998
    Junior Member
    Posts: 9
    Joined: Sat Nov 09, 2019 7:52 am

    Start to a new life

    Sat Nov 09, 2019 8:53 am

    Hey, my name is Luke i'm 21 and i have serious gambling issue. I have always gambled since i was 18 but it was nothing anything serious i might have bet $20 every month, by the time i turned 21 this year in April i started betting more maybe $100 a week. i was lucky and actually managed to get ahead around $2000.

    I have always been tight with my money since i was younger and i always saved all the money i earn. In august this year i had $70,000 saved up and everything was perfect. Until one day i put a few bets on and they all lost and i tried to get my money back and ended up losing around $3,000.

    The next day, i was so angry at myself for losing $3,000 and thought i'll just win this $3,000 back and then everything will be ok. That next day i ended up losing another $10,000 and i did the same for the following 2 days. Losing $33,000 over 4 days. I was so defeated i couldn't believe what i had just done to myself. Someone would ask me "how are you" and i felt like breaking down crying.

    But i just kept betting and managed to get back to without $12,000 of where i started, until i lost it all again. Losing over $20,000 in one night. All of those feeling of depression, suicide and anxiety came running back to me. i didn't want to leave my room, i didn't want to live, i didn't want to do anything. i stopped betting for a month and decided that i should just be happy with what i have.

    Until one day i put $50 bet on and it lost and it all started again, with around $40,000 left in my account i managed to go on another betting spree, losing around $25,000 over the a week. All of those feelings come straight back, i still remember sitting in the bathtub crying wondering if i should drown myself. I can't even explain the level of depression i was feeling that day and all the suicidal thoughts going through my brain.

    But i still continued betting, i felt like it was the only thing i could do to numb the pain, even though it was the cause of all my pain. i managed to get down to my final $2,500 and put it all on a horse. it won and i got $18,000 but i knew deep down that i was just going to lose it all again. i didn't have any self care at that time i thought i don't care i will just keep betting. I've now managed to get down to my last $5,000 now and i have decided its about time i finally get some help.

    Please if you are reading this and you think that you are developing a problem or you think you have a problem. Please seek help before its to late and you lose it all. Don't be as stupid as me learn from my mistakes. It's not worth, i can't even explain to you the amount of pain i feel right now, the amount of times I've though about suicide, the amount of times i cried myself to sleep at night. Please do everything you can to make sure you can't bet. Give your money to loved ones, exclude yourself from betting sites. Just do everything possible to make sure you don't go down the same path as me.

    This is my story, i hope that i can help at least one person overcome their problems.

    This is the start of a new life for me and i hope that i never make that terrible decision to start betting again.
    2 x
    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1709
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: Start to a new life

    Sat Nov 09, 2019 4:44 pm

    You have the rest of your life ahead of you..don't let gambling ruin it..
    2 x
    Lmk1998
    Junior Member
    Posts: 9
    Joined: Sat Nov 09, 2019 7:52 am

    Re: Start to a new life

    Mon Nov 11, 2019 4:29 pm

    Thanks for replying @pamela. i will keep telling myself that. I've been in so encased in trying to get my money back, I've forgot to live my life. I've already wasted enough time on this stupid addiction, i don't want to waste anymore.
    0 x
    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1709
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: Start to a new life

    Mon Nov 11, 2019 5:18 pm

    Exactly..stopping now will be the best thing you can possibly do to begin the rest of your life
    1 x

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