Welcome to our online peer support community - A supportive place for anyone making change in their gambling, as well as concerned friends and family.
  • Connect, be inspired, motivate others. Share your experience & strategies.
  • Safe. Confidential. Professionally moderated. Free of judgement.

    Before you can post or reply, join our online community today.

    On now:
  • Sunlight September challenge - getting outdoors to improve mental wellness.
  • Q&A with a gambling counsellor - what's stopping you from seeking support?
  • My gambling story

    For people making and maintaining change in their gambling. Connect, ask questions, offer advice, and share your story in here. If you are new to the site drop in and say hello!
    Andy
    Junior Member
    Posts: 19
    Joined: Wed Dec 26, 2012 12:13 pm

    Re: My gambling story

    Wed Jun 12, 2019 8:41 am

    I wish i could announce some good news over the past few years. I have had some good stints without gambling, a bonus offer late last year got me back in and hooked. i stopped after a gambling binge in January, i lost $5000. Again i opted to self-exclude until 5 weeks ago, another bonus offer was offered via phone call from ladbrokes this one was deposit $500 and get an additional $500. I am such a pathological gambler i was sucked in, fast forward 5 weeks and i have lost another $8200. approximately $13000 just gone this year ah gosh. I have good income my stupid theory exists from my 18 years of gambling. all bills are paid, no debt apart from mortgage but with three children, a wedding to save for and a cruise to pay for, i really feel like i am on path of destruction.

    It is clear as day i am so bloody prone to relapses. I know i can go without gambling but i can just as easily be sucked back in, then i waste all our savings away to then hit rock bottom once again.

    I wish gambling was illegal, the emotional and physical toll it takes on a pathological gambler really is devastating, i classify myself as super optimistic and where that is a good attribute to have. As a gambler it is so DANGEROUS. i have always been honest with my fiance, my binge in January and again last week. "losing another $1700" this week. I am really feeling down my fiance suffers from post natal depression and is doing really well at the moment. I know if i stop now i can save for this years plans and i will stop now. The problem is the relapses which seemingly come back in to my life and cause so much mental destruction in a very short period of time.

    I am embarrassed, ashamed and where i could have had a month off to spend time with my family, i feel like i have worked a month for nothing. But hey, i gained stress, anxiety, depression and neglected my health, my family.

    Gambling is so evil, wow i joined 7 years ago when i was 29. Now 36 and the cycle continues and nothing has changed. The blocks of 6 months away from gambling only comes back to haunt me. It comes thick and fast and is so brutal.

    My family deserves better, over the years i probably have lost in excess of $200,000. The adverts are rife in our society, and the whole responsible gambling campaign is a lie. People like me cannot maintain control and be responsible gamblers. Literally years wiped away from gambling.

    Sorry

    :Edit; wait... What? No i am not sorry. If i was sorry i would have learnt my lesson. I am a selfish, self absorbed loser. I do not deserve my fiance, i wouldn't want to be with a gambler. What kind of a role model am i for my 3 children? Simply Atrocious
    1 x
    Andy
    Junior Member
    Posts: 19
    Joined: Wed Dec 26, 2012 12:13 pm

    Re: My gambling story

    Fri Jun 14, 2019 11:54 pm

    I have not gambled since posting back on this forum, it’ll be two days as of tomorrow morning.

    The urges are still very raw and I really want to have a punt, it’s like going through withdrawals at the moment. I am still checking the scores, few I would have won had I bet which is annoying. But as I’ve mentioned I would have just kept going until I lost any winnings if I’m truely being honest with myself.

    Also there’s just no way I could possibly win back 13k for this year that I’ve thrown away if I’m being honest with myself.

    Anyway I know these withdrawals are normal and I just need to overcome them. There’s money in the bank but I really need to knuckle down and save for the rest of this year.

    I don’t know what’ll happen but I’ll remain positive, I am still very angry at myself for the binge in May. So much could have been paid off for this years wedding and honeymoon. I don’t have any answers as to why I started again and how deep it got so quickly. I know it was the phone call from Ladbtoles offering the $500 bonus bet. On reflection it really sucks because I was doing so well for my family I didn’t need to go back to old habits.

    I have broken out in tears on two occasions in the past 2 weeks and my fiancé has comforted me. I just can’t stop thinking about a month I could have had with my family rather then causing unneeded stress. I just need to stop right NOW and the rest of this year can remain a fairytale. I have listened to hours worth of gambling related problems on YouTube, horrible stories and I really don’t want to ever be in those positions. But with my arrogance and the volatility in me gambling , it very well can be exactly me doing things that are damaging to my family.

    Anyway I’m just rambling thoughts

    Good night
    3 x
    Mona58
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1024
    Joined: Sun Oct 15, 2017 11:44 am

    Re: My gambling story

    Sat Jun 15, 2019 9:28 am

    You CAN do this Andy! Stay Strong!
    2 x
    A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
    dragon007 (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 173
    Joined: Sun Mar 18, 2018 10:07 am

    Re: My gambling story

    Sat Jun 15, 2019 10:33 am

    hi @Andy

    Try not to beat yourself up, be kind and patient with yourself.

    It takes time to be consistently gambling free. At the start of your journey, try to put up as many barriers you can to slow down your gambling. Cancel your accounts, ask to be banned from gambling services, apply for self exclusion from venues, use software that stops you using gambling accounts and websites.

    Look at meeting with a face to face counsellor, call the Gambling Helpline on 1800 858 858, it is a 24/7 counselling service that is anonymous and confidential. Local Gamblers Anonymous meetings can also help.

    Try everything you can, throw everything at it, don't leave it just to your will power.

    Keep it simple. keep trying, take one day at a time, etc.

    All the best mate, keep sharing how you are going.

    dragon007
    1 x
    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1672
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: My gambling story

    Sun Jun 16, 2019 10:00 pm

    Don't beat yourself up..just think of everything you have to gain by being gamble free..don't focus on the bad but focus on all the good that can come from stopping..make that the motivation to stop.
    Take it one day at a time..small but determined steps
    0 x
    Pokiestress
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Wed Jun 19, 2019 4:18 pm

    Re: My gambling story

    Wed Jun 19, 2019 4:24 pm

    Hey there I'm in a bad way today got myself deep in money problems and am screwed to the point of ground zero. Can't tell the family can't tell my girl can't let the secret out cause if I do I will get smashed for it. So here I am I guess it's a way to vent
    0 x
    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1672
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: My gambling story

    Wed Jun 19, 2019 10:27 pm

    You might actually find that by telling your family and your girl..that it might be a big relief..it is extremely hard telling the ones who care about us but once you've told someone , that secret we hold inside is gone..and remember,A problem shared is a problem halved.
    1 x
    Andy
    Junior Member
    Posts: 19
    Joined: Wed Dec 26, 2012 12:13 pm

    Re: My gambling story

    Thu Jun 20, 2019 6:22 am

    Entering day 8 without gambling. I have been engrossing myself in my business and switched my focus, I’ve been doing more work to make up for my month of stupidity.

    I am feeling better and have stopped looking at upcoming games and results. I’ve been listening to Tony Robbins on YouTube whilst driving and at home. I am learning more about life generally. It’s definitely helped.

    Yes, I have self excluded myself from approximately 5-6 betting agencies. There are so many it’s almost impossible to completely wipe them out. If there’s a will there’s a way when your in the gambling state of mind.

    I have never had any face to face meeting around my gambling habits. I am respected in the community and it could have potential to influence my business negatively. With my fingers crossed, no wait. I’m putting this gambling habit to bed for ever.

    My fiancé knows about my binge just not the monetary value, she hasn’t asked. I think it’s best that way. I think she probably knows it would run in to the thousands. I was relieved when I broke down to my fiancé about my break out of gambling in May it’s always great to clear the air somewhat Pokiestress.

    I concur, one day at a time. Thanks
    3 x
    Calvin (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 300
    Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2018 4:01 pm

    Re: My gambling story

    Thu Jun 20, 2019 11:42 am

    Well done on Day 8! Keep up the great work @Andy
    2 x
    Andy
    Junior Member
    Posts: 19
    Joined: Wed Dec 26, 2012 12:13 pm

    Re: My gambling story

    Thu Jun 27, 2019 3:33 pm

    15 days GF.

    Feeling fantastic, I have not had the urges to gamble there is too much at stake.

    The main reason is :

    I need to pay for our wedding and honeymoon. I have been saving like mad and it will be wonderful.

    I have been thinking a lot about life in the past 2 weeks. I have made the decision I am not going to gamble ever again. I used to feel like I needed to gamble to have sufficient $ ... “what a mentality to have!”

    I will need to stay focused on never going back. Especially times when I do have disposable income. I will also need to start buying things for myself that is not money won from gambling. I used to only buy things for myself through winnings and living with bare essentials. It will be strange as I have lived this way since I was 18.

    Do other people carry this mentality?

    I will need to change that whollllee perspective

    Thanks,

    Andy
    3 x

    Return to “The Courtyard”