FEEL SO ILL

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Re: FEEL SO ILL

Postby Izzi » Tue Apr 17, 2018 6:28 am

Hi,

Oh wow Jo-anne that was so encouraging! Thank you for sharing that, l am waiting on uni to acceot my deferment. So right now l am failing as l wait 🙄

Jinxy: thanks - l have to do a test at the hospital and then go back to my specialist mid may. Then he will decide, most likely need surgery.

Last Friday was the first time in a while l made payment towards all my cash advances, it felt so good. Motivated to get on top of everything!
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Re: FEEL SO ILL

Postby JinxyWolf » Thu Apr 12, 2018 8:40 pm

Hey Izz,

Sorry to hear about your health problems, I hope all goes well and that you are back on your feet soon.

I wish you the best, Thinking of you.

JinxyWolf
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Re: FEEL SO ILL

Postby Jo-Anne » Thu Apr 12, 2018 2:04 pm

Hi Izzi. so sorry to hear that you are not well. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow when you see your specialist. I understand about having to withdraw from study. I did my degree over 10 years part time because I was not coping very well with that, work, chronic illness and family commitments and some times had to reduce my uni work load. And that is without a gambling problem at that time in my life.......At the end of the day it took 10 years....but I did it and it was a proud moment up on stage receiving my degree. You will be there too.....You have done the right thing as you need to urgently attend to your health.
Stay strong Izzi and look after yourself......sincerely Jo
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Re: FEEL SO ILL

Postby Izzi » Thu Apr 12, 2018 10:47 am

Hello,

Thank you all for your lovely birthday wishes!

As you all know on only given day once you stop cg life is hard, I am really struggling to make sense of everything, as it is all a big mess. Just before my birthday I had a routine scan and I got my results just before my birth date and my Dr told me that I need to see a specialist, as I have a growth which has grown. Have an urgent appointment tomorrow, after looking at my results, I know for sure I will need surgery but what I don't know is the affects this growth has had on other parts of my body AND whether it is benign or not. My head is such a mess, that I just withdrew from unit (for the year - or semester if it is granted), as I can not concentrate or focus on anything and I really just need a break from uni. Wish I had done this earlier, have two assignments due tomorrow - which I just can't sit down and do, really am my worse enemy at the moment. Not to mention the extra financial burdens of all my specialist appointments and tests, not everything is taken care of by medicare. The surgery when it happens, will be taken care of by medicare (yay) - anyway sorry if I have overshared.

Tomorrow I will know more, the Dr will be able to clear my mind, we won't know for certain until I have a biopsy.

Hope everyone else is having a better day.

Thank you.
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Re: FEEL SO ILL

Postby JinxyWolf » Sun Apr 08, 2018 12:20 am

HEy Izz,

Happy Birthday. Sorry to hear you are still struggling, just remember you only truly lose if you stop trying.

I have faith in you, you can get your life back, keep fighting for the future you want and the future you deserve.

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Re: FEEL SO ILL

Postby Mona58 » Sat Apr 07, 2018 4:29 pm

Happy birthday IZZI '

Better get started on those assignments! Once you start it will flow.

by"pain"if your meaning a hangover of sorts then yes it is temporary. It is hard but You can do it!

Mona
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
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Re: FEEL SO ILL

Postby Izzi » Sat Apr 07, 2018 3:07 pm

Today is my birthday and it feels funny, real funny.....it's like another year older but none the wiser. I have survived a whole week without a cent to my name, the perks of the cg life, clean currently but my last sting came with consequences. It has left me feeling number for the past couple of weeks or so, and even though I have two assignments due next week (neither I have started) can't get myself to concentrate or focus.

The shame and regret is hitting me and I know it isn't good to dwell to what could have been, cause the present is what it is and I can't go on anymore punishing myself, sabotaging myself......it is so unhealthy.

I hope that this is the year I wake up, shape up and start to reap the benefits of all my hard work.

Hoping that the pain is only temporary.
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Re: FEEL SO ILL

Postby Izzi » Sun Mar 18, 2018 7:17 pm

Hi Pamela and Mona,

Yes it is soul destroying and nothing can be gained from it.

Today is day two and I feel real good - looking forward to the week ahead and the clarity that comes with it to make good and rational decisions.

I also got an extra shift this weekend, it is just a couple additional hours but I am so thankful. Especially now that I know I have stopped gambling and I am serious about it.

Today is day two!
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Re: FEEL SO ILL

Postby Mona58 » Sun Mar 18, 2018 8:39 am

Hi izzy,

You will find dealing with work and study easier when you stop gambling. Gambling adds SO much more stress to everything we do. It affects our mood that we can't concentrate on the task at hand nor see the clarity of everyday life. Like Pamela says gambling is time consuming and soul destroying ... don't do this to yourself anymore.

All the best on your journey..

Mona
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
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Re: FEEL SO ILL

Postby pamela » Sat Mar 17, 2018 9:37 pm

Izzy you have had an up and down timef or sure and I am sorry you gambled again..I hope this new found clarity tells you that you never win playing the pokies..never..they are time consuming and soul destroying but the decision to play is yours..just as the decision to stop..
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