Payday blues...

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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Springhope17 » Sun Dec 10, 2017 10:43 pm

hahaha thanks for the flowers!!!
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Jeddie » Sun Dec 10, 2017 1:48 pm

����������������������, to Springhope from Mona and Glenda
IN GAMBLING THE MANY MUST LOSE IN ORDER THAT THE FEW MAY WIN
George Bernard Shaw
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Mona58 » Sun Dec 10, 2017 1:17 pm

Hey Springhope! Congratulations on reaching 100 days Gamble Free!

Was thinking of you this morning as I tidied up my garden! Wish I could gire you a bunch of flowers! Hope you are treating yourself with something special!

Yes it is great to go about our daily life without the anxiety of gambling thoughts of loses. It is almost non-existence but because of it life seems somewhat more valuable,

l'm filthy from the gardening but happy that I wasn't thinking about anything in particular! Looking forward to a shower now!

Mona in day 57 GF
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Springhope17 » Sun Dec 10, 2017 11:03 am

Hey Mona,

Its great when we finally realise that gambling is no longer dominating our lives! With all our thoughts thinking of gambling and then when we quit all our thoughts focused on not gambling!

Its very refreshing when we start focusing on other things in life!

100 days GF today! I made it!
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Mona58 » Sat Dec 09, 2017 6:56 pm

Day 56 .

(I just posted 57 ... opps!)

Its been a long day. An easy day. Spend much of it reading on train,

Only time gambling came to mind was reading the SMS support. It actually reminds me I have a gambling addiction.

l am finding that I enjoy reading even more and am able to focus on the book , whereby when gamblingI'd be fidgety and get bored with reading in a short time.


Mona
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Mona58 » Thu Dec 07, 2017 3:59 pm

Lots of thinking today. Good and not so good stuff.

I'd reflected a lot on my past and life experiences. All those things that make ME me. l had for some moments contemplated whether I ought find a counsellor again ... l had gone on and off for 15 years... it had helped and sometimes it didn't but that did not stop me seeking another. I still carry a lesson or two from some of them. l'm feeling ok after all that thinking so I don't think I need to go right now because the way I see it ...l am getting peer support right here and this'll do for the time being!

the Good reflecting was remembering a whole lot of characters, mainly Artists, whom I'd come across during my studies . I'd wondered why these particular Artists and their work had enthralled me .. I'd now think how much a part of me may have been in those works! I think I am going to find a day soon to visit the NGV or the Museum. It is always interesting despite having seen it many times before...

Besides my $6 little wooden Pinocchio l picked up three books for $1. I'd smiled as I read one because its location is familiar and not so far from me. I'd really come to love reading Memoirs,

Mona in day 54 GF' done thinking for the week! *smiles
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Mona58 » Wed Dec 06, 2017 10:00 am

Day 53

With all the drama re the missing parcel ... phone calls to try rectify internet / phone issues... and that personal stuff! Not to mention having had to walk pass those D Dens more often than usual .... I'm actually surprised now that I'm only slightly peeved now. Had I still been gambling ,,-different me!

Been doing a bit of reading ... I think preparing for that Christmas lunch on 14th. I'm looking forward to it ... but nervous when I think about it.

Mona ... in thinking mode!
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Mona58 » Tue Dec 05, 2017 12:25 pm

... the guy in front of me at the post office picked up this huge parcel... I was like ah oh!... that'll be awkward to carry home. So then I presented my card .... smiled at the girl as she handed me this little padded envelope ... Three trips and much anguishl Lovely NOT !

I'm feeling so Chrismassy this year! I'd brought some little Christmas ornaments from Op Shop and 5 little colourful plants from Bunnings on my stroll home! (on the otherside of the road from the D. Dens!)

Been reading the 3 part Relapse information in the News & Article section / blogs. t'm feeling a lot more better having read those!

Haven't done a Munch (scream) yet but then I'd decided to leave the phone calls till later... or tomorrow!

Mona in afternoon of day 52 GF
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Mona58 » Tue Dec 05, 2017 7:24 am

Thank-you Oregon '

I had read that before and seriously THANK-you for reminding me to read it again.

That heart thumping in the post office queue was a result of having fought a urge... It is just so weird the physical impact. Conciously I did Not have a urge to gamble... so it makes it even more strange. I carry a fear of relapse / lapses that leaves me mentally and physically drained each time I have to walk pass those D-Dens:-especially when something comes up that leaves me vulnerable --those triggers. I do find though that I am able to deal with these much better than had l still been gambling!

I did have limited cash on me and had left both my cards at home as I did not need them yesterday. I avoided crossing the road after the post office = went to the Op shop found (and brought) 2 knitted knee high dwarfs they were only $2 each and so cute! l love knitting and lately I'd collected some pre-loved handmade dolls. I had made a few rag-dolls' knitted and sewed clothes for these during those breaks from uni and those times I'd tried stop gambling (before finding this site) or when I'd no money left from gambling... I also collect odd pieces of dinner sets and have an array of odd plates etc -. So my meals are never boring with a variety of plates and bowls to choose from based what mood I'm in! I have this thing that when I'm sorta feeling lowly I'd pick my brightest bowl to have my breakfast in! Yeah ok call me weird! But its 'not my fault I was born when I was! Some-one once told me I was eccentric and I said oh have you been reading my star sign?

l had earlier found and been reading "news and articles" (at top right corner of this site) I'd not noticed it previously... things happen when they are meant to, And..... Oh I so love those mind-boggling academic articles! Makes me so so miss Uni! they better let me back in next year ... or I'll argh!...

So Oregon THANK-you for posting in my tread! I really really appreciate all the support I get from every-one... I know I could not have come this far nor go further without youse.

Mona in day FIFTY TWO .. head up...chest out... ready to start the day!
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
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Re: Payday blues...

Postby Oregon » Tue Dec 05, 2017 4:56 am

Hi Mona,
There's a great module on resisting urges on this site. Also don't take any more money than you need!

Hope it goes well for you.
Gamble free since 29.05.18
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