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Scared of having money

Posted: Mon Jul 19, 2021 7:09 pm
by Roys59
This might sound strange but I am truely happiest when I have no money to gamble with.

I have given all my money to my wife so I can’t gamble but that doesn’t stop me from taking loans/credit cards etc.

I know I can’t pay these things back (and have done this before having to explain why I have a c/card debt) . I can’t go back to that guilt.

The reason I post this is because it’s tax time and I find myself wanting to lie to my wife yet again about my return.

I’m feeling the guilt I felt only one week ago coming clean to my wife about a gambling problem before I’ve even gambled this money away!

I know this time around I’m going to tell the truth and not do anything stupid but will this be my life? Can I no longer ever trust myself with money?

I’ve gambled everything I have week to week for 20 years. Can I change and hold a balance without gambling it?

Re: Scared of having money

Posted: Mon Jul 19, 2021 9:25 pm
by Anita44
Hi Roys59
How are you doing?
For me I put extra away in our join account, but I still have some money to treat my self something nice, shopping , going out with friend, weekend away with my partner, I can spend on anything other than gamble.
I think it's good to let your wife look after for you, but when you don't have urge anymore than you can start control for your money again.
I am very open with my partner, I telling him I have not gamble since that day and my urge are not their anymore.
So he stop call me after work every night, cos he knew I am not gamble.
I noticed after my first 3 weeks, I manage to paid all my bill, than I got around $500, on the way to work I start feeling the urge of gamble, that when I start put money in join account.
Now I don't have the urge to gamble any more, but I still put the same amount cos we renovating our house anyway so money their if we needed.
Last 2 month I been spend just over $3000 on new clothes, shoes and hand bags, and new clothes for the kids and new shoes and my partner later birthday presents, I buy all on special which save me alots of money.
Not just that I but gift for my sister and niece in New Zealand too, cos I have not done thing like that for such a long time now.
Deep down my heart feel proud of myself that I achieved this addition. My life are completely different than before.

Re: Scared of having money

Posted: Tue Jul 20, 2021 9:19 am
by Damaged_Armour
Roys59 wrote:
Mon Jul 19, 2021 7:09 pm
This might sound strange but I am truely happiest when I have no money to gamble with.

I have given all my money to my wife so I can’t gamble but that doesn’t stop me from taking loans/credit cards etc.

I know I can’t pay these things back (and have done this before having to explain why I have a c/card debt) . I can’t go back to that guilt.

The reason I post this is because it’s tax time and I find myself wanting to lie to my wife yet again about my return.

I’m feeling the guilt I felt only one week ago coming clean to my wife about a gambling problem before I’ve even gambled this money away!

I know this time around I’m going to tell the truth and not do anything stupid but will this be my life? Can I no longer ever trust myself with money?

I’ve gambled everything I have week to week for 20 years. Can I change and hold a balance without gambling it?
Take her to the tax appointment with you if you're serious about stopping. That's what I did. Full transparency if you want to be real.

I been gambling 25 years on the pokies. I don't carry any key cards or credit cards, just a prepaid Mastercard from the post office loaded with a few hundred dollars and $20 cash. If I happen to be walking past a pub in my travels I will walk in and burn that $20 because I can't control myself even 25 years later.

In short, put enough obstacles in your way that will give you a slight advantage over your habit, enough obstacles to maybe some times turn the tide in your favour.

The biggest hurdle I had to overcome was convincing myself to have a joint account with my partner. My ego didn't want me to do it because it was "my money". But what is the point of having "my money" if I continually piss it up the wall? I thought to myself, I'd only ever be ahead if I gave my missus control of everything, and I did. Now bills are always paid, we're never short of anything, she gets to treat herself with clothes for doing such a good job.

I don't know if it's genetic or if its the psychological state you're brought up in as a child that causes you to inherit the habit. My old man was a gambler, from a young age I witnessed him playing pokies, lotteries etc. Some days I fear my kids will inherit this horrible habit, so I don't do any of that in front of them, because they become copies of what we are.

Here I am sitting on the toilet typing this message out, I finished 15 minutes ago and everyone's wondering why I'm taking so long, so I'll leave it at that for now.

Re: Scared of having money

Posted: Tue Jul 20, 2021 12:55 pm
by Roys59
Thanks everyone.

@Damaged_Armour its been a few weeks since I’ve laughed but reading the last sentence had me in tears haha

There’s a lot of truth to that though. What’s the point in having my own money if I’m just going to get rid of it straight away.