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  • Share an inspiring or motivating quote

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    JinxyWolf
    Senior Member
    Posts: 379
    Joined: Wed Feb 15, 2017 8:51 pm

    Re: Share an inspiring or motivating quote

    Sun Aug 08, 2021 5:44 pm

    Hi @Lovely Cat Lady

    For me it was boredom and loneliness. I had nothing else in my life apart from work. No hobbies, no partner and no friends. Gambling was a way to be around people without having to interact with people. I am a shy person, I find it hard to talk to people, which I must admit does seem a bit strange as I work in retail.

    Put me behind a counter and you might be forgiven for thinking that I have a very outgoing personality, I can interact with people with ease. As one customer once said I could sell a cat to mice :p . But put be in any other social situation and I shrink into the corner and find it hard to interact with people. Making friends is difficult as well as making any sort of intimate connection with anyone. This is one aspect I'm still struggling with.

    I am happy to say that since quitting gambling this has started to change. I took up golf which has allowed me to practice my social skills outside of my work. I also took a couple of art classes. Talking to people is getting easier, I am making connections with different people and now I find myself playing golf and going to art classes mostly for the social interaction it allows. With gambling no longer taking up all my energies it has allowed me to redirect them into healthier and more positive activities.

    So Stay strong, Live life and be well.

    JinxyWolf
    2 x
    Damaged_Armour
    Senior Member
    Posts: 104
    Joined: Tue Dec 29, 2020 3:17 pm

    Re: Share an inspiring or motivating quote

    Sun Aug 08, 2021 6:12 pm

    Lovely Cat Lady wrote:
    Sun Aug 08, 2021 2:33 pm
    Hello beautiful community,

    It's time for one of my favourite weekend activities. So without further ado, here goes today's quote:

    “The priority of any addict is to anaesthetise the pain of living to ease the passage of day with some purchased relief.”– Russell Brand on drug abuse

    Although this quote refers to addiction to drugs, the underlying message can also be applied to gambling addiction. Whether you gamble to disconnect from the daily stress of life, get a high from winning or another reason, it comes as a short-term solution for underlying issues, such as boredom or stress, amongst others.

    Really want to hear what are your thoughts or experience on this @Damaged_Armour, @Kevcollingwood, @JinxyWolf, @pamela, @Menz199, @Anita44, @Degener8, @spentitallagain, @awesomedude69, @Ivanhoe82, @MattyDavo25, @Kookjini83, @Paris196563*, @Jc, @Sb25, @alimanach, @CS1963, @Roys59, @Shouldntofchased

    Remember there's no right or wrong answer, everyone's experience is unique and everyone's take/opinion is valid, which means you might not relate to this quote, and that's also ok. :);
    I saw a YouTube clip a while back that hypothesises that addiction is linked to childhood trauma. I think it carrys some merrit.
    Here's the link.
    https://youtu.be/BVg2bfqblGI
    2 x
    There's No such thing as "Just Once"

    You want to stop gambling? Ok great, put your boxing gloves on.
    Lovely Cat Lady
    Moderator
    Posts: 677
    Joined: Mon May 03, 2021 9:30 am

    Re: Share an inspiring or motivating quote

    Mon Aug 09, 2021 11:37 am

    Thank you very much for your insights @Anita44, @JinxyWolf, @Paris196563* and @Damaged_Armour! :o :D I'm going to try my best to summarise them a little because you've all touched some really good points that other members might find useful to read:

    -Winning the jackpot like it happened to @Anita44 or chasing the high of winning like @Paris196563* described is how the gambling system is designed to get people hooked up on it.
    -Seems like there is a common trend in terms of the boredom.
    -The social anxiety @JinxyWolf explained is also something @Menz199 has mentioned as was one of the reasons for gambling. Interestingly enough, you've both have found relief in picking up new hobbies (golf and art, and photography and running/walking respectively).
    - @Damaged_Armour that is a fantastic video! Gabor Mate is very well know amongst the addictions professional community. Thanks for sharing the resource, I'm sure many will benefit from having a look at the video. And in the same line of the relationship between childhood trauma and addictions, I want to recommend a book called "The Body Never Lies: Lingering Effects of Hurtful Parenting", written by psychologist Alice Miller.

    Hope you all have a good week! :cool:
    3 x
    Sadly, it's my last week as Moderator. Thanking you all for allowing me to be a part of your journeys and wishing you all the best! :);
    Kevcollingwood
    Member
    Posts: 72
    Joined: Mon Mar 09, 2020 5:23 pm

    Re: Share an inspiring or motivating quote

    Mon Aug 09, 2021 5:12 pm

    Hi @Lovely Cat Lady

    For me it was stress, my alcohol and gambling fuelled each other, when I had a shocking day on the punt, alcohol was my go too.
    When I drank I was reckless with my gambling, meaning bigger bets, with no thought given.
    I am approaching 10 years without alcohol and over 200 days gamble free, I still cannot forgive myself for what I have done to our lives, the demons still hound me regularly.
    What can I do? I can’t have my time over, I read all the articles, you must forgive yourself etc, easy to say very hard to do.
    Always have been hard on myself.
    If you are reading this and have only just started your gambling journey, stop now, turn around, go back.
    I pray no one ever has to live a life like this.
    Proud of my achievements, don’t get me wrong, just 40+ years of hurt reminding me!! 😀
    3 x
    Lovely Cat Lady
    Moderator
    Posts: 677
    Joined: Mon May 03, 2021 9:30 am

    Re: Share an inspiring or motivating quote

    Tue Aug 10, 2021 6:26 pm

    Hi @Kevcollingwood,

    Thanks for sharing your insights, they're very valuable! I'm sure many will relate to the points you've added: gambling as a stress relief, alcohol and gambling fuelling each other (there's a couple of posts on this topic in the blog, I'll add them below for everyone) and also not being able to forgive yourself even after considerable time.

    And hey, congratulations on being 10 years sober! That's a major milestone. And of course, well done on being over 200 days gamble free and counting! :cool:

    I know it can be hard to forgive ourselves for actions we've taken in the past. Sometimes all we can do is sit with our demons and listen to them (they get tired too eventually). Perhaps instead of forgiveness you could give a shot at having self-compassion. I highly recommend having a look at Professor Dr. Kristin Neff's website on self-compassion, especially the exercises to practice self-compassion. You might find useful exercise 1 (basically talking to yourself like you would talk to a friend because we tend to be more harsh with ourselves) and exercise 3 (basically writing a letter to yourself). I really hope this helps if only a little @Kevcollingwood. :o

    POSTS IN BLOG ON ALCOHOL AND GAMBLING
    - Your answers from Dr Jane Oakes: The Connection between alcohol and gambling
    - Gambling and alcohol: how they go together
    1 x
    Sadly, it's my last week as Moderator. Thanking you all for allowing me to be a part of your journeys and wishing you all the best! :);
    Kevcollingwood
    Member
    Posts: 72
    Joined: Mon Mar 09, 2020 5:23 pm

    Re: Share an inspiring or motivating quote

    Tue Aug 10, 2021 7:49 pm

    Hi @Lovely Cat Lady

    Thank you, I will look at those, not going to throw the towel in just yet, appreciate the feedback 😀
    1 x
    Paris196563*
    Junior Member
    Posts: 20
    Joined: Sun Jul 11, 2021 6:19 am

    Re: Share an inspiring or motivating quote

    Tue Aug 10, 2021 10:49 pm

    Kevcollingwood wrote:
    Mon Aug 09, 2021 5:12 pm
    Hi @Lovely Cat Lady

    For me it was stress, my alcohol and gambling fuelled each other, when I had a shocking day on the punt, alcohol was my go too.
    When I drank I was reckless with my gambling, meaning bigger bets, with no thought given.
    I am approaching 10 years without alcohol and over 200 days gamble free, I still cannot forgive myself for what I have done to our lives, the demons still hound me regularly.
    What can I do? I can’t have my time over, I read all the articles, you must forgive yourself etc, easy to say very hard to do.
    Always have been hard on myself.
    If you are reading this and have only just started your gambling journey, stop now, turn around, go back.
    I pray no one ever has to live a life like this.
    Proud of my achievements, don’t get me wrong, just 40+ years of hurt reminding me!! 😀
    I think that’s quite common the alcohol being reckless, I’ve also had those days in fact they were the days that would keep me up at night, or wake me up, anxious feelings, why did I do that? We have so many gambling and alcohol ads shoved in our faces and we worry about covid killing people!! I understand your guilt but your on the right track what more can you do? Gotta look forward we can’t go back we can only try and not make the same mistakes. Sounds like your on the right track to me 👍
    1 x
    Lovely Cat Lady
    Moderator
    Posts: 677
    Joined: Mon May 03, 2021 9:30 am

    Re: Share an inspiring or motivating quote

    Sun Aug 22, 2021 3:59 pm

    Hi everyone,

    It's time for one of my favourite activities in the forums: 'Share an inspiring or motivating quote'. With current lockdowns and having recently come across with this famous phrase several times on the forums, I thought it would be worth it to remind ourselves about it and reflect a little bit deeper on it (I'm sure many are already familiar with it):
    “One step at a time. One day at a time. One hour at a time.” - unknown
    Image

    How have you applied this on your journeys, what does it look like in your everyday lives? @Anita44, @Damaged_Armour, @Menz199, @Paris196563*, @Meercat21, @Chandyyy99, @HelloDolly, @Vamling, @Tom1997, @Kevcollingwood, @herbs&Spices, @Loseallgone, @CS1963, @Shouldntofchased, @yep123, @clearthatmind, @JinxyWolf, @Squeaky, @Shouldntofchased, @AGHS, @Joyceflower, @Justin11, @Springhope17
    2 x
    Sadly, it's my last week as Moderator. Thanking you all for allowing me to be a part of your journeys and wishing you all the best! :);
    Damaged_Armour
    Senior Member
    Posts: 104
    Joined: Tue Dec 29, 2020 3:17 pm

    Re: Share an inspiring or motivating quote

    Mon Aug 23, 2021 9:29 am

    Lovely Cat Lady wrote:
    Sun Aug 22, 2021 3:59 pm
    Hi everyone,

    It's time for one of my favourite activities in the forums: 'Share an inspiring or motivating quote'. With current lockdowns and having recently come across with this famous phrase several times on the forums, I thought it would be worth it to remind ourselves about it and reflect a little bit deeper on it (I'm sure many are already familiar with it):
    “One step at a time. One day at a time. One hour at a time.” - unknown
    Image

    How have you applied this on your journeys, what does it look like in your everyday lives? @Anita44, @Damaged_Armour, @Menz199, @Paris196563*, @Meercat21, @Chandyyy99, @HelloDolly, @Vamling, @Tom1997, @Kevcollingwood, @herbs&Spices, @Loseallgone, @CS1963, @Shouldntofchased, @yep123, @clearthatmind, @JinxyWolf, @Squeaky, @Shouldntofchased, @AGHS, @Joyceflower, @Justin11, @Springhope17
    Alot of people see these lockdowns as a hindrance and harmful, and to an extent they are. We're so used to going flat chat, that this sudden halt has stunned us. But being in my 40s, I can remember a simpler time when the pace was a bit slower. So I'm embracing it, because once the foot gets back on the accelerator it will probably never be the same again.

    "One step at a time. One day at a time. One hour at a time.”
    2 x
    There's No such thing as "Just Once"

    You want to stop gambling? Ok great, put your boxing gloves on.
    Lovely Cat Lady
    Moderator
    Posts: 677
    Joined: Mon May 03, 2021 9:30 am

    Re: Share an inspiring or motivating quote

    Sun Sep 05, 2021 12:51 pm

    Hello everyone,

    It's time to share an inspiring or motivating quote. Since we've had some posts lately about lapses, relapses and cravings, I'm hoping you'll find this quote motivating or inspiring:

    "Life is like a book. Some chapters are sad, some happy, and some exciting. But if you never turn the page, you will never know what the next chapter holds". - unknown

    Whether we're experiencing a lapse/relapse, a lockdown, a break-up, a legal battle, unemployment or even homelessness, remember to keep flicking the page of your life stories. :);

    Would love to hear your thoughts on this quote. Does it resonate with your journey? @BrisbaneLad @ProblemPunter2017 @Macie @Anita44 @JinxyWolf @Damaged_Armour @PPS56M @Spawny @Chandyyy99 @Junting1997 @Springhope17 @Meercat21 @spentitallagain @CS1963 @KAG @yep123
    0 x
    Sadly, it's my last week as Moderator. Thanking you all for allowing me to be a part of your journeys and wishing you all the best! :);

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