Welcome to our online peer support community - A supportive place for anyone making change in their gambling, as well as concerned friends and family.
  • Connect, be inspired, motivate others. Share your experience & strategies.
  • Safe. Anonymous. Professionally monitored. Free of judgement.

    To join the discussion, sign up today.
    Join us Tuesdays at 8pm - 10pm AEST for Chatty Tuesday.
  • Scared of having money

    A place for our whole Gambling Help Online community to connect. Includes special forum events, monthly rundowns and a place to chat with forum friends.
    Roys59
    Junior Member
    Posts: 12
    Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2021 9:17 am

    Re: Scared of having money

    Thu Mar 03, 2022 6:31 pm

    No, not yet.

    I only got the letter today and thought of this forum.

    She’s still at work but to be completely honest, I’m not sure if I want to say anything tonight.

    I definitely will but everything has been so good lately.

    I think I need to let this digest and talk to her tomorrow
    1 x
    User avatar
    Ultramarine
    Junior Member
    Posts: 13
    Joined: Fri Feb 25, 2022 4:35 pm

    Re: Scared of having money

    Thu Mar 03, 2022 6:37 pm

    Whatever it is just don't delay it much. My take is that one postpone keeps on multiplying. She will be hurt more if she finds out that you are hiding again. Therefore, act up soon, but also don't rush. Collective talk really helps.
    My best wishes to you.
    1 x
    One step at a time towards betterment.
    Roys59
    Junior Member
    Posts: 12
    Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2021 9:17 am

    Re: Scared of having money

    Thu Mar 03, 2022 9:02 pm

    Ultramarine wrote:
    Thu Mar 03, 2022 6:37 pm
    Whatever it is just don't delay it much. My take is that one postpone keeps on multiplying. She will be hurt more if she finds out that you are hiding again. Therefore, act up soon, but also don't rush. Collective talk really helps.
    My best wishes to you.
    So I took your advice and blurted out the issue as soon as she walked through the door.

    To my surprise yet again, she said don’t worry about it and we will figure it out.

    She also was thankful that I didn’t hide it and cause myself more anguish then I needed too.

    This is why I keep turning to this forum.

    Thank you once again 😊
    2 x
    User avatar
    Ultramarine
    Junior Member
    Posts: 13
    Joined: Fri Feb 25, 2022 4:35 pm

    Re: Scared of having money

    Fri Mar 04, 2022 3:41 pm

    @Roys59 Your post made me smile today. I am glad you didn't hesitate and keep worries inside. Now you can fight your hurdles together with your wife. Eventually your bond will get even more stronger.
    If you truly want to change for good, then good has to happen to you.

    Have a great life together both of you. :);
    1 x
    One step at a time towards betterment.
    Roys59
    Junior Member
    Posts: 12
    Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2021 9:17 am

    Re: Scared of having money

    Mon Apr 11, 2022 9:43 pm

    Well… I stopped gambling saved and felt comfortable having some money in my account this whole time.

    Again I returned to gambling and blew it all in just two days.

    Not a great couple days for me.
    0 x
    Roys59
    Junior Member
    Posts: 12
    Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2021 9:17 am

    Re: Scared of having money

    Mon Apr 11, 2022 9:46 pm

    Just want to stop
    0 x
    User avatar
    JinxyWolf
    Senior Member
    Posts: 395
    Joined: Wed Feb 15, 2017 8:51 pm

    Re: Scared of having money

    Mon Apr 11, 2022 10:09 pm

    Hi @Roys59

    I know that it really hurts when you lapse but try not to focus on that. Focus on what you have achieved thus far, you managed to save some money, and stop gambling and although you stumbled it is not the end. We all stumble from time to time but the fact that you have returned to the forum shows that you have strength and courage.

    So instead of focusing on your lapse try to focus on the reasons for your lapse. Find your trigger so you can put barriers in place to prevent this happening in the future. If access to money is a trigger then reduce access to cash.

    Keep fighting and I wish you all the best.

    JinxyWolf
    1 x
    Roys59
    Junior Member
    Posts: 12
    Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2021 9:17 am

    Re: Scared of having money

    Sat May 21, 2022 7:25 pm

    It’s funny….

    I thought it seemed like a life time ago since I posted but has only been a little over a month.

    Truth is I don’t hold a lot of money and give my wife everything except a very small amount to do with what I wish. $100 per fortnight. What I save is what I save.

    Since my last post I went on a downward spiral and went back to online gambling after saving the small amount of money I did save. I lost nearly all only to win a huge and I mean huge amount.

    I’ve now realised with an addiction such as this it’s not the value of money. I looked at this money in my account and had no way of explaining it…so my solution was to throw it all back in. I lost it all in two days.

    Now I feel the guilt of again gambling and losing such an amount that would have really helped my family.

    This has taught me a life changing realisation though. I think I am truely the happiest when I don’t have the money to gamble. No money means no gambling means no lies. It’s unfortunate but I just don’t trust myself with money and don’t think I ever will.

    Coming to the realisation of how quickly I can throw away any sum of money makes me feel happy I’ve put these checks in place. What’s the point in winning if even that makes you feel like rubbish?

    If I didn’t have these checks in place, I know I wouldn’t have stopped when the money ran out. I am thankful I have spoken to my wife about my past gambling and at the end of the day, there was no harm done except my own feeling of shame.

    It’s now been two weeks and gamble free but do find myself constantly thinking of some way to gamble. I just need to remind myself of this experience.
    0 x
    the_penguin
    Moderator
    Posts: 87
    Joined: Sat Nov 14, 2020 12:16 pm

    Re: Scared of having money

    Sun May 22, 2022 4:11 pm

    @Roys59

    Two weeks gambling-free is still good work. Likely it will take some time for the urges and thoughts of gambling to subside.
    Have you ever engaged with a problem gambling counsellor? It seems like you're doing a good job of self-analysing, but it's always good to get an outsider's opinion, and more support in an ongoing manner.
    0 x

    Return to “Community Space”