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  • Day 7

    For those taking the 100 Day Challenge. Share your journey, seek support and track your progress here!
    Cazza
    Senior Member
    Posts: 261
    Joined: Sat Apr 07, 2018 7:23 am

    Re: Day 7

    Mon Apr 30, 2018 10:38 am

    Hey Jo hope you had a great weekend. Thanks for your posts. You are more than welcome to come on and rant anytime you like. Xx
    0 x
    Jo-Anne
    Senior Member
    Posts: 457
    Joined: Fri Feb 12, 2016 10:40 pm

    Re: Day 7

    Tue May 01, 2018 10:20 am

    Hey Cazza......Great weekend, thanks for asking.....My Dad came for lunch and I also spent time with my brother and neice. Getting out and about which is good for me because I tend to be a bit of a loner and stay at home.

    Well today is day 152........31 days until six months and I am feeling strong!!.....One day at a time......then one day more!
    0 x
    Jo-Anne
    Senior Member
    Posts: 457
    Joined: Fri Feb 12, 2016 10:40 pm

    Re: Day 7

    Wed May 02, 2018 9:58 am

    For me gambling addiction has been a (maladaptive) coping strategy. I have had so much happen over the past 20 years, and was never able to deal with bad thoughts and feelings. Last year when I relapsed for about 6 weeks, I was in such a bad way and felt so hopeless, guilty and ashamed that I was admitted to hospital for 9 weeks. I was totally broke, owed about 6 weeks rent and my credit card was maxed out again. To top it all off was sacked from my job. Once I was well enough, I attended every group session I could to try to understand why I relapse. Even though I knew the pitfalls and pain, I was relapsing every six months or so.

    When I was in hospital, I was basically abandoned again by some family members....."Oh she has done it again".........Fear of abandonment has been my biggest issue since childhood.......So now I understand where the gambling urges come from......

    While I was in hospital, a wonderful family friend visited me and supported me, and even packed and stored all my belongings at her place. Other family I had not seen for many years (because I was living away) rallied to help. My Aunty insisted I stay with her when I leave hospital which I did for 4 weeks and I was so grateful.......she and I are very close again and spend a lot of time together now. I do not feel judged by these people, and can be very honest with them about how I am going.

    Since last year, my daughter and I have attended counselling together, and we have rebuilt a positive, supportive and loving relationship. This is wonderful as she has two children who I adore. She is a single mum, so I am able to support where I can. But most of all our relationship is honest and we are helping each other.

    My Dad came to lunch on the weekend and for the first time he listened rather than lectured. I have only spoken to him a few times since relapse as he is ill, and could not really cope with it all to be fair. Last night he called and said he understood more and our relationship is on the mend. This is a huge step for both of us. I know other relationships will mend over time, and am not pushing it. This has freed up my mind to meet the daily challenges of life.

    I am happy where I am living, and have a good job. I am 55, independent and do not want to be dependent on anyone. I am happy with my progress and am still working with my psychologist........who has known my struggles for well over 17 years!

    I am telling my story here because finally I have recognised gambling is only a coping strategy for me. I have been diagnosed at last with a mental illness which is now being treated properly..........When bad thoughts hit me that invoke any urge to gamble, I say to myself this is just how my mental illness is affecting my thoughts, and am able to change my thinking by distracting myself.

    No matter how many days gamble free I am, I recognize that it is difficult for members in early recovery. I need this forum to help sustain my own recovery. Most of us know what we have to do, and just need space, time and support to move ahead. I wish everyone well on your own recovery journey.
    0 x
    Mona58
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1045
    Joined: Sun Oct 15, 2017 11:44 am

    Re: Day 7

    Wed May 02, 2018 12:05 pm

    l hear you Jo-Anne ... I really do! my story is pretty similar.

    Thank you for sharing.

    Stay strong!
    0 x
    A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1709
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: Day 7

    Thu May 03, 2018 12:35 am

    Jo-Anne it sounds like you are finally in a good place to understand your gambling habit.Having support is so important.I sometimes come across as "look at me and what I am doing"but I can tell you I struggled at times.My partner put his head in the sand.one son was supportive...Many a time I wanted to just give in and go back to "my friend" but I wanted to prove to everyone that I could stick to something.
    It wasnt easy but I was so determined.
    The main problem that drove me to gamble still exists but I have learnt to deal with it differently..and that is one of the reasons I stopped because I wasn't going to let this person completely ruin my life and relationship..
    So keep staying strong and one day that urge will be gone ..concentrate on your family and you
    I wish you all the best
    0 x
    Jo-Anne
    Senior Member
    Posts: 457
    Joined: Fri Feb 12, 2016 10:40 pm

    Re: Day 7

    Sat May 05, 2018 10:08 am

    Thank you Mona & Pamela. I agree that we are on the same road for sure! I appreciate your comments.

    26 days to 6 months GF.......Going strong.....I will make it!!
    One day at a time!!

    I read something I wrote 2 years ago on this thread......After each completed day, "I am going to bed happy and waking up happier".....for many reasons this is very true today, but most of all it is because I am not gambling.

    We want this for each other, so let's do it for ourselves too.

    Happy weekend........may we all resist the urges and wake up ecstatic on Monday!!!
    0 x
    Jo-Anne
    Senior Member
    Posts: 457
    Joined: Fri Feb 12, 2016 10:40 pm

    Re: Day 7

    Sun May 06, 2018 12:36 pm

    Every day we have reminders of our past gambling days.

    Yesterday my daughter rang and asked whether I would take her shopping. I drove to her place and she was doubled over in pain and thought she had pulled a muscle in her chest, so I took her to the St Johns clinic, who were fantastic.....she was checked over properly and they even did an ECG to be on the safe side. We went to the shops and I dropped her off and came home. It is so ridiculous that on the way home I felt so happy to do something for her that is just normal to other people.

    Today I am spending time with my Dad again.......he called to say he was looking at a new place to move into. I asked whether he would like me to meet him there and he said YES much to my amazement! Because he is quite independent! "And then we can go for a coffee" he said. Now that I am looking forward to as we are both so much more relaxed and happy after our long talk last week.

    This would not be happening if I was preoccupied with gambling, or living with the after effects of a gambling session. So much time wasted in the past.......no more gambling......I am resilient to the very slight urges I still have from time to time.
    0 x
    Cazza
    Senior Member
    Posts: 261
    Joined: Sat Apr 07, 2018 7:23 am

    Re: Day 7

    Sun May 06, 2018 8:14 pm

    Hi Jo. Glad to hear your daughter was okay. It's scary when your loved ones aren't well.
    Sounds like you have had some major breakthrough's recently which will help with your recovery.
    It is still amazing to me as well about how much time we have on our hands when we aren't preoccupied with gambling. It's like when I gave up smoking, i couldn't believe how quickly i got through the housework without stopping for a smoke break.
    Congratulations on your nearly 6 months. Much strength to you Jo 😊
    0 x
    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1709
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: Day 7

    Sun May 06, 2018 10:36 pm

    Thats great Jo..it is the simple pleasures after gambling .It is nice to reconnect with your family..every day you will get stronger
    0 x
    Jo-Anne
    Senior Member
    Posts: 457
    Joined: Fri Feb 12, 2016 10:40 pm

    Re: Day 7

    Tue May 08, 2018 9:31 am

    Day 159......urges under control...payday.....HAPPY!!
    Still have $90 in the bank after last pay with all bills up to date and some in advance. I pay all utilities weekly so when the bill comes in it is normally in credit......really takes the pressure off!! Have some debt but am sticking to negotiated payment plans. I was able to buy my grandaughters winter school uniform as well!!
    Anxiety still a problem due to chronic pain and related fatigue (Rheumatoid Arthritis) but I just have to push on and get through my workload. I am busy at work and have a few private clients as well and it is BAS time. Work related stress has triggered gambling in the past...I recognize this and fortunately am handling it all well by telling myself gambling is not the answer and will only cause misery and added stress...coming on the forum, reading and posting helps a lot......Thinking about going back to meetings too
    0 x

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