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  • Starting my 100 Day Challange today (8/8/22)

    For those taking the 100 Day Challenge. Share your journey, seek support and track your progress here!
    borisalexm22
    Junior Member
    Posts: 12
    Joined: Fri Apr 23, 2021 2:33 pm

    Starting my 100 Day Challange today (8/8/22)

    Mon Aug 08, 2022 3:45 pm

    I'm not sure how this is going to go but I hope this journey and forum will be my safe space, to check in everyday and share my thoughts, feelings and experiences with this community.

    A few hours ago I went on another trip to the pokies, spent way more than I should have and returned home, hoping my partner doesnt find out and feeling like the piece of **** I am.
    Too many times have I told myself that I won't go again or won't spend too much but here I am again, after driving home yelling at myself I am here again. I have written a message to my partner detailing all my lies about how much I have lost, my lies about not going to the pokies when I did, all the issues I deal with because of this addiction. The message now sits in my notes on my phone, a message I will send to her in a weeks time when I am celebrating 7 days of no gambling and in my message I will tell her about this forum and how I am using it to help me cope.

    If you are reading this post and relate in any way I encourage you to share your story, ask me questions about my gambling hsitory (nothing is too personal) and I hope that I can engager with some others who are going trhough this challenge, thinking about starting it or have completed it.
    1 x
    Printemps
    Moderator
    Posts: 900
    Joined: Tue May 04, 2021 8:12 am

    Re: Starting my 100 Day Challange today (8/8/22)

    Tue Aug 09, 2022 8:25 am

    heya @borisalexm22 and welcome. Thank you for sharing your story, I can hear the anger and frustration in your words, and hear how driven you are to make a change.

    I really want to emphasise that however angry you are right now at yourself, it's really important to give yourself some kindness. It is one of the hardest things to do in recovery but it is so so important. You're not a piece of ****, you'r someone who had a problem, and is now taking the right steps to change that. You are someone who is strong and open. Remind yourself that even getting on here shows strength, and don't minimise your own drive and self worth.

    I'm wondering what techniques of strategies you have planned for approaching this journey? Daily check-ins here are a great step, but do you have ways to manage urges when they hit?
    1 x
    borisalexm22
    Junior Member
    Posts: 12
    Joined: Fri Apr 23, 2021 2:33 pm

    Re: Starting my 100 Day Challange today (8/8/22)

    Tue Aug 09, 2022 10:47 am

    Hey @Printemps ! I appreciate the reply and hope to talk to you a lot throughout these next 100 days.

    Thanks for the kind words, yeah, a lot of emotion in these messages for sure, and I've probably given myself too much kindness and forgiven myself too many times if anything. Time to face the facts, own up to my flaws and make a change.

    For sure, daily check ins on here to build my own thread and share my story but also to interact with others on their threads and hear about others who are doing this challenge. I have already been through some of the more recent threads and its crazy how similar people’s stories are and how people go through THE EXACT SAME thing. Like I said, I'm giving myself this next week to get in-line, making some big life changes and commitments outside of gambling as well (extra exercise and healthy eating, more time with my partner and showing her appreciation, starting a daily video-log where I can just hit record and speak my mind to release the stresses and issues on my mind, deleting all gambling/slot apps and games from my phone, etc). A lot of change at once but I'm an all or nothing kind of person, cold turkey is the way to go. And once I come clean to my partner next week hopefully, she can see the changes and progress I have already made.

    Anyone reading this post who has any questions or stories to share please feel free. Interacting with this community and opening up will be a great help for me through this process :)
    2 x
    Printemps
    Moderator
    Posts: 900
    Joined: Tue May 04, 2021 8:12 am

    Re: Starting my 100 Day Challange today (8/8/22)

    Tue Aug 09, 2022 1:57 pm

    @borisalexm22 They all sounds like really great steps! As you say, it's a lot at once and patience is a virtue!

    I love the idea of the daily vlogs, that will give you such a good space to just get everything off your chest!

    If you want to chat with other members I highly recommend using the @ symbol and tagging them say @spentitallagain who has just completed their own 100 Day Challenge, or @Kevcollingwood who is currently working through his!

    Also myself and @pikachu are here most day for support!
    1 x
    borisalexm22
    Junior Member
    Posts: 12
    Joined: Fri Apr 23, 2021 2:33 pm

    Re: Starting my 100 Day Challange today (8/8/22)

    Tue Aug 09, 2022 3:26 pm

    Yeah its something I actually find myself looking forward to, as is checking in on here a couple times a day to see if anyone has started their own challenge.

    I appericate the tags, hopefully I get to chat with them, I've had a read of both their stories and others. Also appreciate the support from the legends like yourself running this forum.

    Got to find something to do with myself during the day as my next steps. I work alone from home, full time with a low work load and low supervision, dangerous conbination which usually means I can just head down to the club and have a slap with no one the wiser. Getting more exercise and catching up on some TV but need to find a hobby or distraction for myself during the day...
    0 x
    borisalexm22
    Junior Member
    Posts: 12
    Joined: Fri Apr 23, 2021 2:33 pm

    Re: Starting my 100 Day Challange today (8/8/22)

    Wed Aug 10, 2022 4:14 pm

    Checking in on day 2. Nothing much to say but we are gooing strong. Pay day last night and didnt even think about gambling it, drove right past the club while running some erands today and didnt feel the urge to go in, still must be riding that feeling of dissapointment from my last time going, or maybe just keen to stick to this challenge. Felt so good having the extra cash didnt hesitate to buy my partner a small gift... I get to look forward to doing that more often now which is great!
    1 x
    Printemps
    Moderator
    Posts: 900
    Joined: Tue May 04, 2021 8:12 am

    Re: Starting my 100 Day Challange today (8/8/22)

    Fri Aug 12, 2022 2:27 pm

    @borisalexm22 It's great to hear you're doing well and feeling like you're heads in the right place! How are you travelling today?
    0 x
    borisalexm22
    Junior Member
    Posts: 12
    Joined: Fri Apr 23, 2021 2:33 pm

    Re: Starting my 100 Day Challange today (8/8/22)

    Fri Aug 12, 2022 10:51 pm

    Hey @Printemps , great day today and yesterday.

    I spent the afternoon with my partners, showed her a message I had typed to her about my gmabling, admitting to my lies to her and how much money I have gambled and she gave me a big hug and told me we would get through it together. Biggest relief. We have been doing really well and the NRL has been on the last two days and I havent even touched sportsbet or gone to the pub to watch the games/gamble. Only day 4 has just come to a close but feeling great. Havent heard from any of the recent posters in their own threads like @Rubi , @Kevcollingwood or @Rebecca4207 . Hopefully they are staying strong.
    1 x
    Kevcollingwood
    Senior Member
    Posts: 109
    Joined: Mon Mar 09, 2020 5:23 pm

    Re: Starting my 100 Day Challange today (8/8/22)

    Sat Aug 13, 2022 4:03 pm

    @borisalexm22 hi, just checking on you , Saturday is also a day I like checking in, 69 days ago I would have spent the whole day punting, could never get enough until it was all gone, if I won on the horses I would put it through the pokies.
    Was never greedy, just my compulsive behaviour took over, get into a gambling frenzy and lookout.
    Hope you have had a good day yourself , yes, you need to find a distraction, it is hard sometimes because this is all we know week in week out. All the best.
    1 x
    borisalexm22
    Junior Member
    Posts: 12
    Joined: Fri Apr 23, 2021 2:33 pm

    Re: Starting my 100 Day Challange today (8/8/22)

    Mon Aug 15, 2022 8:31 am

    I appreciate the check in @Kevcollingwood . I feel that, I would od the same thing, take out a quarter or half of my pay check and no matter how much I got up at the pokies I would never walk away until I put it all back throguh and took out the rest of my paycheck chasing the losses. I had a good weekend with my partner, went to the zoo and stayed home to watch the footy instead fo going to the pub. I'm over the feeling of dissapointment and anger of my last big lost so I;m ready to go to the pokies again, so this week will be my biggest challenge yet. Feeling confident though, Its a rough time of the year with a lot of expenses, bills and interest rates rising so I know I will prioritise those things over gambling. Hopign things dont get to stressful to the point where I feel like the only way to get ahead on those payments is gambling.
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