I really appreciate it. Yes my confidence/self esteem has shot through the roof, (A fantastic thing) I feel like I can do anything I set my eyes on.
It sounds like you've really clicked with your psychologist! Have you found that being able to manage your anxiety in social settings is having positive effects in other parts of your life?
Absolutely, I used to get anxious about a lot of things, particularly trying something new or talking to strangers, there has always been a bit of a irrational fear that I'd be judged for what I say or do, so I would never express my own opinion on things and normally just agree with what other people said to keep my anxiety happy. That's why I feel like I haven't been able to make many friends over the years, because I would that they would hate me if I said the wrong things.
There was also a lot of self doubt with me and I because I was depressed most of the time I felt like I'd never achieve anything or that it was trying anything was pointless. As I said right at the start, it was a challenge sometimes to even drag myself out of bed in the morning.
There more things I thought of to say here but forgot, if I remember them I'll put them in a new reply.
Have you tried Couch to 10KM? I know a few people who have used that and found it super useful!
Ah no I have not, honestly I never really have given my physical health much thought, it's not until sometime just before I have stopped gambling that I have I have given it serious thought. In my previous job I always did night shift and it was always too easy to buy junk food and was always too tired to do any exercise and did end up putting on a bit of weight, not a huge lot but enough to make me realise what I was doing to myself. But through the changes I've made here, mainly in terms of my diet and slowly becoming more physically active (mainly going for long walks) and as my mind has become clearer want to push myself further and start to run and slowly become fit. I am very thankful to George because he encouraged me last week and for me that was the light bulb moment to say, you can do this the time is now. I am enjoying exercising thoroughly at the moment. I've just got to keep going.
Wow, I just realised I still haven't answered the question lol, sorry all these other thoughts just took over.
Anyway I want to just stick to 5km for now, 10km sounds great but a goal a bit too high a goal. I think being able to run 5km is a great goal to strive for someone like me and as a starting point for a fitness goal.
It sounds like you've been able to get a lot of mental clarity and as you've started working on some bigger goals, like gambling and your anxiety, you have more mental space to focus on other areas of your life! A new career path is exciting! what kind of thing did you have in mind?
Yes it is very exciting, well a new job that I might like, is something to do with disability support in the short term. I know a few people who have worked in this area and they love it. I think it might be a great fit for me and if it isn't, well I can say at least I gave it a go. As people have told me if you don't try things you may regret it later in life.
In the long term I might look into becoming a psychologist/counsellor of some sort myself as I want to help people with their struggles. I had a bit of a chuckle too myself when I mentioned that to the psychologist.
You should feel proud, you've put in so much work, and have been so proactive! You're really setting yourself up on a fantastic path moving forward! If you could go back and say something to the old you what would that be?
I'm extremely proud of myself, ah, there would be many things that I would say to my old/younger self, too many things to list on here though.
But 1 thing would be to never give up on yourself there's always room for improvement and if you can push yourself hard enough then anything is possible, you've just got to believe in yourself.
ahhh that is such a shock to think about, two and a half weeks!
I know it's scary because of how fast this is gone. But also very exciting that the end goal is soooooooooooooooooooooo close.
Yesterday I woke up nice and early and because it wasn’t too cold I even went out and went for a run which felt fantastic. Work was alright.
Today was a great day, I got a tonne of housework done. Went out shopping and bought myself a new gadget which I've had my eyes on for a little while and even treated myself to some takeaway food. I did think about buying ice-cream but resisted. But I must remember that I don't have to cut out sweets and chocolate entirely, but eat them in moderation.
Something I have come to realise in the last couple of weeks is that, when I do get stressed or frustrated, I do tend to buy chocolate/sweets or more than I usually would. As in when stressed I reach for comfort food. I hope that makes sense. I haven't eaten any chocolate for a week now which feels great. @Lovely Cat Lady
would be proud haha
Sorry for rambling on.
85/100 15 days to go