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  • Starting 100 day challenge - 2nd day

    For those taking the 100 Day Challenge. Share your journey, seek support and track your progress here!
    Squeaky
    Member
    Posts: 70
    Joined: Sun Sep 13, 2020 6:15 am

    Re: Starting 100 day challenge - 2nd day

    Sun Dec 27, 2020 6:57 am

    Still going great ... 106 days now. Runs through my mind. Am staying in Darling Harbour stone’s throw from the Star. Well done I say to myself, do not feel the draw. Saw @JB-nsw post today, how he did lots of self talk about not getting pulled back to gamble, so true. It’s not going to move your life forward. How helpful the forum is, understanding and feeling other recovering gamblers’ stories. We all cheering each other on. Grateful for this day, the sun is shining through the window and soon will b time for brekkie and going home. Have had a fabulous time.
    2 x
    JB-nsw
    Member
    Posts: 71
    Joined: Fri Dec 18, 2020 9:03 pm

    Re: Starting 100 day challenge - 2nd day

    Sun Dec 27, 2020 11:12 am

    That is so great @Squeaky! Keep going strong, I can feel the difference in your outlook and positivity between now and your first day. So great, you deserve to feel awesome :)
    1 x
    Squeaky
    Member
    Posts: 70
    Joined: Sun Sep 13, 2020 6:15 am

    Re: Starting 100 day challenge - 2nd day

    Mon Dec 28, 2020 5:20 pm

    107 days, drank some wine, was at a venue for birthday party and the gambling devil took control. Disappointed with me, then unfortunately went somewhere else, left my husband in car, said I was going to toilet and $$$ later. Thought things had shifted obviously not.
    0 x
    JB-nsw
    Member
    Posts: 71
    Joined: Fri Dec 18, 2020 9:03 pm

    Re: Starting 100 day challenge - 2nd day

    Mon Dec 28, 2020 5:41 pm

    Oh @Squeaky sorry to hear that. Im hoping reading about my downfall didn't contribute it any way. A few things to take comfort - birthday party and alcohol at a venue, I don't imagine that is an overly frequent thing. Notch it up to extenuating and rare circumstances, and a warning indicator for if you need to be in that situation again what might change (possibly avoid the wine?). And I think things have shifted for you, normal days seem like you are doing great - this was a mega temptation situation.
    0 x
    Squeaky
    Member
    Posts: 70
    Joined: Sun Sep 13, 2020 6:15 am

    Re: Starting 100 day challenge - 2nd day

    Mon Dec 28, 2020 6:06 pm

    @JB-nsw no one to blame. Crazy situation, spied the machine I liked and sneaked to it, a friend came to find me as every one going after party and was only down $50. However said to my husband after we left and we were driving home, I need the toilet, so he stopped and I ran into another venue. How sneaky as had the urge, he had no idea, and there I was, went to cash machine twice in venue, chasing money then did go after husband was worrying about me and rang me as sitting in car, it just goes to show I can still get carried away, however was enjoying the buzz of nothing. Self-sabotage. Still feeling the urge now but thankfully at home. Have to get myself involved in something for me to move forward. What triggered it? Could have been relaxing and felt ok to let go, too much time with sister-in-law that triggers me, getting to the 100 days, not over happy about my relationship or life and how to move forward, or the need for some excitement and different. I just sort of went in auto pilot. 😒
    0 x
    Squeaky
    Member
    Posts: 70
    Joined: Sun Sep 13, 2020 6:15 am

    Re: Starting 100 day challenge - 2nd day

    Mon Dec 28, 2020 6:08 pm

    Yes @JB-nsw avoid the wine!
    0 x
    JB-nsw
    Member
    Posts: 71
    Joined: Fri Dec 18, 2020 9:03 pm

    Re: Starting 100 day challenge - 2nd day

    Mon Dec 28, 2020 7:56 pm

    Well I would think that's the ultimate temptation, hearing them, hearing people in there, seeing machines you liked to play previously, alcohol, people celebrating all around you - it can't get tougher than that.

    I know what you mean by the other things compounding in your life and it pushing you for an outlet. I have had those feelings, almost like not being able to take control in other aspects of my life so gambling was one thing I could do - essentially to lose enough that it would distract me from my other issues - when thinking about how to survive financially to the next pay without exposing my gambling it made me forget about my relationship problems.. though, it made the relationship worse as I would become even more distant.

    So anyway what is done is done. Don't feed the beast, keep it weak, hopefully it will just die some day.
    0 x
    Squeaky
    Member
    Posts: 70
    Joined: Sun Sep 13, 2020 6:15 am

    Re: Starting 100 day challenge - 2nd day

    Mon Dec 28, 2020 9:21 pm

    Thk u @JB-nsw, seeing your understanding and resonance with the situation; so true. Put my feelings down with online counsellor that was helpful. Knock on effect from Christmas with brother and sister-in-law; always on edge with the sister-in-law. So today i put down to some energy rumble with that; the awareness of the triggers and to get back on the path. New Year coming so new way of being. Like wine, do feel to be my best self and grow forward need to knock it on the head and change another habit. Mayb I was getting anxiety from this about giving up and then drunk two big glasses so out of control hit. Am feeling better. I do feel I want to achieve, how am I going to do this? So many questions. So sad. So many things being brought to the surface. My old love has sent me lovely message over Christmas so this has churned things up as have such love/passion for him. Crazy as gave me nothing. My husband gives me so much more, feel something is missing. Things always seem to stir up this time of the year. I am in comfortable situation, I obviously love to stir it and don’t want the simple easy life .. hence the gambling.
    0 x
    JB-nsw
    Member
    Posts: 71
    Joined: Fri Dec 18, 2020 9:03 pm

    Re: Starting 100 day challenge - 2nd day

    Mon Dec 28, 2020 9:57 pm

    Life is full of challenges, why can't we just all be machines and just do the "right thing" hey :)

    Emotions are complex, relationships are hard. The mind can play tricks there too and has a great way of forgetting the bad times of old flames. Well, for me anyway.

    I would only suggest perhaps not taking on too much by trying to change everything at once, even though everything may be intertwined to some degree thinking of all the things at once can seem impossibly overwhelming to achieve. Small picture changes will add up and alter the big picture.

    I really hope that things start falling into place, and that the professionals helping can guide you in the direction to address any issues you want when the time is right. I think by even asking the questions of yourself like you are is positive.
    1 x
    Squeaky
    Member
    Posts: 70
    Joined: Sun Sep 13, 2020 6:15 am

    Re: Starting 100 day challenge - 2nd day

    Tue Dec 29, 2020 1:54 am

    Thk u @JB-nsw great words.
    0 x

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