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  • Starting 100 day challenge - 2nd day

    For those taking the 100 Day Challenge. Share your journey, seek support and track your progress here!
    Squeaky
    Member
    Posts: 52
    Joined: Sun Sep 13, 2020 6:15 am

    Re: Starting 100 day challenge - 2nd day

    Mon Sep 28, 2020 8:36 am

    JinxyWolf thank u for your post. Felt a trigger today, that bored hopeless feeling that flows through me sometimes and then .... your past has given me support to breathe and work through it so can create a better place for myself; the gambling won’t be the change, keeping committed to the challenge will. Thank u
    1 x
    Squeaky
    Member
    Posts: 52
    Joined: Sun Sep 13, 2020 6:15 am

    Re: Starting 100 day challenge - 2nd day

    Mon Sep 28, 2020 6:52 pm

    Hi JinxyWolf, so pleased today, had a trigger today, got over it, and the trigger has passed and feel another hurdle accomplished I did not relapse. Finally admitting to myself my addiction and that I cannot venture again as it starts off ok and then I can carried away and absorbed in the moment. The feeling afterwards with the losses is devastating, no sleep and so much tears and shame. It still plays over and over again. Moving forward. ❤️👌
    1 x
    User avatar
    JinxyWolf
    Senior Member
    Posts: 358
    Joined: Wed Feb 15, 2017 8:51 pm

    Re: Starting 100 day challenge - 2nd day

    Mon Sep 28, 2020 7:20 pm

    Hi Squeaky,

    Congrats on passing that hurdle. Now you know it can be done and the more you do it the stronger you will become.

    I also found that cold turkey was the only way to go. To finally admit that there is no safe limit to your gambling is an achievement in it's self and you should give yourself a pat on the back.

    It helps to acknowledge those feelings of loss and shame you felt when you gave into temptation but try not to let them bog you down and stop you from moving forward. I like you have many regrets, not just about the money I lost but the time I wasted basically doing the equivalent of setting my money on fire and just watching it burn to ash. I know I can't get that time and money back but I also know I can make sure that I never loose any more time or money to the act of gambling.

    This is a hard road, it has ups and downs but in the end it is the best and most rewarding journey you will take. Take back you life, take back your soul and know that we are all here to support you in good times and bad :D

    Stay Strong
    JinxyWolf
    2 x
    Squeaky
    Member
    Posts: 52
    Joined: Sun Sep 13, 2020 6:15 am

    Re: Starting 100 day challenge - 2nd day

    Mon Sep 28, 2020 7:52 pm

    JinxyWolf. Your message brought tears to my eyes so heartfelt and encouraging. Thank u.😁👌
    2 x
    Squeaky
    Member
    Posts: 52
    Joined: Sun Sep 13, 2020 6:15 am

    Re: Starting 100 day challenge - 2nd day

    Thu Oct 01, 2020 1:01 pm

    Another day, tomorrow is a bit of a trigger as seeing sister-in-law that winds me up. Glad I am mindful of that now so will stay strong. Tearful over how much time and money wasted. Have been doing a course on self partnership and this has been very helpful for me moving forward and taking responsibility and self care for me. Finally at 60 plus years of age feel I am coming into being adult. Am pleased that I am nearly at the 21-day milestone, feeling so much more joy, swam for an hour today and had lunch in the village. The sun is shining and am feeling blessed, blessed I have no gambled, blessed life is changing and will b more fulfilling.👌🌈
    2 x
    Calvin (facilitator)
    Moderator
    Posts: 591
    Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2018 5:01 pm

    Re: Starting 100 day challenge - 2nd day

    Thu Oct 01, 2020 2:10 pm

    Well done @Squeaky ! You're right it can be difficult to think about how much time and money you have spent, but moving forward means eventually accepting that part of your life to be in the past. I'm so glad to hear you're on top of things now and you're engaging more in activities you find genuine joy from.
    21 days is a massive deal. Maybe when you hit the 30 mark you can treat yourself to a gift of some sort or go out for a nice meal to celebrate. Everyday counts! keep it up :D
    2 x
    Squeaky
    Member
    Posts: 52
    Joined: Sun Sep 13, 2020 6:15 am

    Re: Starting 100 day challenge - 2nd day

    Sat Oct 03, 2020 4:50 pm

    As now at the 21-day mark of not gambling on the pokies, bought myself some sapphire earrings costing me $300 as a treat. How strange that I thought this rather extravagant, yet 21 days ago I gambled $3000 away in 2 days without a second thought. Yes feel it’s tough, wonder how I am going to get some semblance of a better life, worthiness of achieving and feeling worthy at 67 years of age. Moved from UK to Australia 5 years ago, as in dark space, to b with my brother and his wife so they could look after me, wasn’t easy and taken all this time to work through the addiction, relapses, and finally moving to adulthood. Now in a relationship because of circumstances where am being looked after, helped in my recovery even though this person knows nothing of my gambling, loves me for me even though from my side not so sure. Feel at this time am having a crutch with alcohol; I eat healthily and I do exercise 5 days a week and next week am committing to a 21-day challenge to get lean and fit. Funnily do not have any inclination to gamble so am pleased about that; still much to work through in my recovery and so wonder whether can achieve something advantageous for myself. 😁❤️
    3 x
    sherpa09 (facilitator)
    Moderator
    Posts: 90
    Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2018 5:00 pm

    Re: Starting 100 day challenge - 2nd day

    Mon Oct 05, 2020 10:31 am

    Hi Squeaky,

    Its Sherpa09 here (one of the moderators on the forum)...

    Well done on reaching 21 days gambling free! It can be surreal when you see how much money you can save when you don't gamble. Despite the struggles along the way it seems as though you're in a good place at the moment and feeling strong in this next chapter of your journey.

    Congrats again and look forward to your future posts :)

    Regards,

    Sherpa09.
    1 x
    Squeaky
    Member
    Posts: 52
    Joined: Sun Sep 13, 2020 6:15 am

    Re: Starting 100 day challenge - 2nd day

    Sat Oct 10, 2020 9:24 am

    Squeaky now hit the 28 day mark of not gambling on the pokers. How do I feel, fabulous, feel this is the start of getting my life out there and really showing up. No triggers, my days seem fuller in a way and more purposeful (if that’s a word). Cousin invited me to do a road trip with her next year when borders are open so something to look forward to. Starting a 21 day fitness challenge soon, intention to lose 8 kilos that have gained since March. So more mindful. Know have to b aware that trigger could come, but so far all good and feeling strong and determined to build that new life gambling free. 😁
    1 x
    HelpfulBee
    Moderator
    Posts: 47
    Joined: Mon Jul 22, 2019 6:15 pm

    Re: Starting 100 day challenge - 2nd day

    Sat Oct 10, 2020 12:42 pm

    @Squeaky Congratulations!! 28 days is a huge accomplishment! It sounds like you've found some really meaningful activities, and that you're living in a more values-aligned direction! I like that you've got exciting things planned (like your road trip) and your working towards new goals (like joining a fitness challenge)! It sounds like you've really made tremendous progress!

    What's your next big milestone, and how will you celebrate? :);
    1 x

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