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  • My journey begins

    For those taking the 100 Day Challenge. Share your journey, seek support and track your progress here!
    Printemps
    Moderator
    Posts: 340
    Joined: Tue May 04, 2021 8:12 am

    Re: My journey begins

    Thu Sep 02, 2021 2:44 pm

    hey @PPS56M how are you travelling today?

    It takes a lot of strength to open up and tell your partner. It is a difficult conversation but it's better to be transparent now they have him find out later down the track.

    What strategies do you have in place at the moment to support you when urges hit?
    0 x
    PPS56M
    Junior Member
    Posts: 16
    Joined: Fri Jul 24, 2020 12:02 am

    Re: My journey begins

    Thu Sep 02, 2021 11:17 pm

    Hi @Printemps

    For the moment I’ve been trying to keep my mind occupied on housework and playing with my children. My partner gets back from work this week so I was going to suggest to him that I hand him my phone whenever I do feel the urge to gamble and go for a walk or do something to fight the urge when it arises. As for when he leaves to work again I think I’ll do that same however leave my phone and do something outside or go for a walk with the kids & dog. I’ve asked him to have access to my bank account for the first time and to help me by checking every month - that way I can’t hide anything from him. Hopefully by knowing that he has access will be enough to make me not even try to gamble (I don’t do any cash gambling)

    E 🌟
    2 x
    Printemps
    Moderator
    Posts: 340
    Joined: Tue May 04, 2021 8:12 am

    Re: My journey begins

    Fri Sep 03, 2021 8:09 am

    @PPS56M They sound like really good distraction techniques. It's also really good to hear that you have a plan for when your partner is about and when he isn't. The best way to avoid falling into urges is to preempt them and prepare for them, which I can see you're doing! Giving your partner access to your bank accounts is a really great way for you to be transparent and also give you some accountability in your spending! I can hear how important it is for you that your partner knows that you're taking this seriously, and I would say that that is clear in these plans your making!

    @Damaged_Armour carried a preloaded AusPost card with him and that has been useful. Is that something you might consider to limit access to money?
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    PPS56M
    Junior Member
    Posts: 16
    Joined: Fri Jul 24, 2020 12:02 am

    Re: My journey begins

    Sat Sep 04, 2021 2:29 am

    Thanks @Printemps I’m hoping with more of my partners support this time round and more I disclose to him the more serious I will actually be to giving up. I’ve never in the past provided my bank access as I’ve always made excuses for lack of money. So I’m hoping he doesn’t do a history check, but I’m bracing myself if he does as I think it’s going to shock him beyond words at the amount of money I’ve wasted. But I feel I need to take that risk now if I really want to change, as I can’t bare the thought of losing him and my family so I better stop gambling now before it gets any worse. I think I’ll stick to keeping my usual bank cards as the thought of my partner having access already puts a big preventative measure in place for me

    Thanks,
    E 🌟
    2 x
    Printemps
    Moderator
    Posts: 340
    Joined: Tue May 04, 2021 8:12 am

    Re: My journey begins

    Sat Sep 04, 2021 4:33 pm

    @PPS56M It sounds like a really sensible decision to give that access to your partner and consider all possible outcomes, such as him finding out what you've actually spent. You're putting in a lot of work to hold yourself accountable, which is a really good thing. I know that for a lot of the forum members who have partners that have struggled with gambling, the lack of transparency has been a massive roadblock, but it's clear you've recognised that and are working out ways to be open and rebuild the trust your partner has in you.

    It's also good to preempt things that may be barriers or challenging, that way you can try to mitigate the fall out from them.

    How are you finding the weekend?
    1 x
    PPS56M
    Junior Member
    Posts: 16
    Joined: Fri Jul 24, 2020 12:02 am

    Re: My journey begins

    Mon Sep 06, 2021 11:54 pm

    Printemps wrote:
    Sat Sep 04, 2021 4:33 pm
    @PPS56M It sounds like a really sensible decision to give that access to your partner and consider all possible outcomes, such as him finding out what you've actually spent. You're putting in a lot of work to hold yourself accountable, which is a really good thing. I know that for a lot of the forum members who have partners that have struggled with gambling, the lack of transparency has been a massive roadblock, but it's clear you've recognised that and are working out ways to be open and rebuild the trust your partner has in you.

    It's also good to preempt things that may be barriers or challenging, that way you can try to mitigate the fall out from them.

    How are you finding the weekend?
    Hi @Printemps

    Thanks, I feel really good about not gambling and so far feel too scared to gamble as I don’t want to disappoint my partner. So that’s been great. I do still think about how much I’ve lost in this last episode and it does get me down, especially because we could have used that money for some really important events happening on our lives right now and because my partner knows of the amount it makes me feel even worse. I know I shouldn’t dwell on the past but I really do feel guilty and I’m hoping Those feelings only motivate me more to not gamble again.

    E 🌟
    2 x
    Lovely Cat Lady
    Moderator
    Posts: 526
    Joined: Mon May 03, 2021 9:30 am

    Re: My journey begins

    Wed Sep 15, 2021 11:06 am

    Hi @PPS56M,
    Just wanted to check in and ask how are you going?
    It's been two weeks since you began the 100 Day Challenge.
    :);
    0 x

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