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  • Wtf am I doing

    For those taking the 100 Day Challenge. Share your journey, seek support and track your progress here!
    BigAdz
    Junior Member
    Posts: 3
    Joined: Fri Jan 24, 2020 1:09 am

    Wtf am I doing

    Fri Jan 24, 2020 2:08 am

    Laying here at 1.22am feeling broken and sad.
    I can’t sleep and have work at 5am this is what my life has come to a constant feeling of shame and misery. I lost everything but it’s time to try and dig myself out of this huge hole.
    Is it ever to late?
    My life has become lie upon to cover the lie before that. I am ashamed of myself . I lost everything that I have ever loved and cared about.

    It’s now or never this will be my day one. Feeling scared and alone but ready for the fight ahead.
    1 x
    Mona58
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1130
    Joined: Sun Oct 15, 2017 12:44 pm

    Re: Wtf am I doing

    Fri Jan 24, 2020 7:58 am

    Welcome Adz

    You are not alone! But we here understand.

    The journey ahead will be a little ... maybe a lot... confusing as you experience new emotions of withdrawal and change.

    Read other posts and everything you can on this GHO site, these will help you implement strategies and explain change.

    All the best on your journey into the gamble free life ... it is well worth the fight,

    Mona
    1 x
    A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
    gzy3
    Senior Member
    Posts: 106
    Joined: Thu May 09, 2019 3:39 pm

    Re: Wtf am I doing

    Fri Jan 24, 2020 10:56 am

    Hi @BigAdz , welcome to this forum!

    I am one of the moderators here.
    You took a great first step for your journey to quit gambling. I appreciate it.

    It seems you feel terrible that gambling have been impacting on your life.
    Many people feel the same way. As @M@Mona58 said, you are not alone.
    I hope you can learn tips from other people and stay connected with and supported by them.

    You may find this blog also helpful too.

    Keep us updated and again welcome to this forum.
    1 x
    BigAdz
    Junior Member
    Posts: 3
    Joined: Fri Jan 24, 2020 1:09 am

    Re: Wtf am I doing

    Fri Jan 24, 2020 9:41 pm

    Day one without a bet hope it gets easier.
    Thanks for the words of encouragement.

    One down 99 to go
    1 x
    How the F did I get here
    Senior Member
    Posts: 380
    Joined: Sun Apr 08, 2018 11:05 pm

    Re: Wtf am I doing

    Sat Jan 25, 2020 5:03 am

    Hey @BigAdz

    God! I can so relate to to the blowing all my money, its 4am in the morning and I gotta get up at 7am for work!! Fuuuuuuccccckkk!
    Is all I can say about that. So many nights of doing that, and feeling violently ill.

    The only time I ever called up sick were a few occassions where I was so emotionally ***** after a big night loosing all my money and I couldn't face getting up for work in 3 hours. 99% of the time I still went but there were a few times it was just all too much.

    Mate I am living proof you can do it! I'm only 24 days gamble free this time but I feel like this is it for me. I've gambled on and off for 20 years the last 3 a nightmare and where things unravelled big time, upsets me thinking about it but If you look back you will never go forward right.

    I went into 2020 with nothing but determination to live a better life, all I want out of life is happiness and gambling does not let you live a happy life.
    Spent so much time blowing all my money, than swearing that's it never again, then go back as soon as pay day hits, over and over and over! ***** so ***** ****! Emotional ***** rollercoaster yeh!

    Shame yes, guilt yes, misery yes, absolute ***** disgust in myself yes.
    When I would go to the bathroom when on a pokie bender, I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror when washing my hands. I would be that ***** disgusted in myself that I didn't want to see my disgusting face! But I couldn't stop and still went back out there and played until my last dollar!

    I could go on and on and on and don't get me started on the walk of shame.

    Its never too late! Start now! If you keep ***** up it doesn't matter as long as you try again the next day, never stop trying to stop gambling!

    Best of luck to you, be strong, you really can do it!
    3 x
    BrisbaneLad
    Member
    Posts: 78
    Joined: Mon Jul 29, 2019 3:17 am

    Re: Wtf am I doing

    Sun Jan 26, 2020 3:04 am

    Hey @BigAdz , I also can feel your pain mate. I’m on day 30 today, and feeling really good for it. It’s not been an easy month, but when you hit the little milestones. For me, my first one was week 1, and then payday.. it gets easier to start seeing the difference.

    A great little community here. Best of luck mate
    1 x

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