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Start to a new life

Posted: Sat Nov 09, 2019 8:49 am
by Lmk1998
Hey, my name is Luke i'm 21 and i have serious gambling issue. I have always gambled since i was 18 but it was nothing anything serious i might have bet $20 every month, by the time i turned 21 this year in April i started betting more maybe $100 a week. i was lucky and actually managed to get ahead around $2000.

I have always been tight with my money since i was younger and i always saved all the money i earn. In august this year i had $70,000 saved up and everything was perfect. Until one day i put a few bets on and they all lost and i tried to get my money back and ended up losing around $3,000.

The next day, i was so angry at myself for losing $3,000 and thought i'll just win this $3,000 back and then everything will be ok. That next day i ended up losing another $10,000 and i did the same for the following 2 days. Losing $33,000 over 4 days. I was so defeated i couldn't believe what i had just done to myself. Someone would ask me "how are you" and i felt like breaking down crying.

But i just kept betting and managed to get back to without $12,000 of where i started, until i lost it all again. Losing over $20,000 in one night. All of those feeling of depression, suicide and anxiety came running back to me. i didn't want to leave my room, i didn't want to live, i didn't want to do anything. i stopped betting for a month and decided that i should just be happy with what i have.

Until one day i put $50 bet on and it lost and it all started again, with around $40,000 left in my account i managed to go on another betting spree, losing around $25,000 over the a week. All of those feelings come straight back, i still remember sitting in the bathtub crying wondering if i should drown myself. I can't even explain the level of depression i was feeling that day and all the suicidal thoughts going through my brain.

But i still continued betting, i felt like it was the only thing i could do to numb the pain, even though it was the cause of all my pain. i managed to get down to my final $2,500 and put it all on a horse. it won and i got $18,000 but i knew deep down that i was just going to lose it all again. i didn't have any self care at that time i thought i don't care i will just keep betting. I've now managed to get down to my last $5,000 now and i have decided its about time i finally get some help.

Please if you are reading this and you think that you are developing a problem or you think you have a problem. Please seek help before its to late and you lose it all. Don't be as stupid as me learn from my mistakes. It's not worth, i can't even explain to you the amount of pain i feel right now, the amount of times I've though about suicide, the amount of times i cried myself to sleep at night. Please do everything you can to make sure you can't bet. Give your money to loved ones, exclude yourself from betting sites. Just do everything possible to make sure you don't go down the same path as me.

This is my story, i hope that i can help at least one person overcome their problems.

This is the start of a new life for me and i hope that i never make that terrible decision to start betting again.

Re: Start to a new life

Posted: Sun Nov 10, 2019 9:29 pm
by Frank321
Hi Luke,
I'm sorry to hear how much pain and suffering gamble has caused you.
It's great you have decided to seek help and I wish you all the best.
Please keep posting on here so I know how you're traveling

Re: Start to a new life

Posted: Mon Nov 11, 2019 5:33 pm
by Lmk1998
Hey @Frank321 thanks for the message. i haven't put a bet on since Friday and i'm hoping i can keep it that way. I've had so many urges to put a bet on, it's been all i can think about so far. But i actually recorded a video of myself talking to the camera after i just lost $13,000 while crying and feeling really depressed. So i keep watching that every time i want to put a bet on. its keeping me in check so far.

Re: Start to a new life

Posted: Mon Nov 11, 2019 9:16 pm
by Lmk1998
I've snapped already, I'm so angry at myself. I was thinking whats the point i have already come this far. But i need to start thinking of everything i could lose in the future. I have self excluded my self from some websites but i just find new ones to use. i'm now going to exclude myself from the others i can think of. i need to stop this.

Re: Start to a new life

Posted: Mon Nov 11, 2019 11:09 pm
by spentitallagain
https://ibb.co/JcfGrL6

Hey mate, if you read my 100 day challenge, you will see that I have many ups and downs...

Check out that continuum, really helped me put everything into perspective

Re: Start to a new life

Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2019 1:58 pm
by Mona58
Hi Lmk '

You need to channel your thoughts to things YOU CAN do. Take up a new activity, join a club' surfing, swimming, football... whatever you may enjoy.

Mona

Re: Start to a new life

Posted: Thu Nov 14, 2019 5:02 pm
by Lmk1998
Hey @spentitallagain I've had a read and its great to see you are still going strong even though you had a few slip ups at the start.

Thanks for that really does put everything into perspective.

Re: Start to a new life

Posted: Thu Nov 14, 2019 5:05 pm
by Lmk1998
Hey @Mona58 I'm going to start back up at the gym next week. i used to go 5 times a week but since this started i haven't been in over 2 months. i can't wait to get back into improving myself.

Re: Start to a new life

Posted: Thu Nov 14, 2019 5:08 pm
by Lmk1998
Currently on day 3, I've had so many strong urges to bet but luckily the self exclusion is there to stop me. Hopefully the feels subside soon.

Re: Start to a new life

Posted: Thu Nov 14, 2019 5:31 pm
by PurpleP
Awesome to hear @Lmk1998! Keep pushing forward as it does get easier and easier. Keep us posted we would love to hear how things are going and let us know if anything else has been really helpful for you.

Take care, PurpleP