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  • Day 2 - Refusing to fail

    For those taking the 100 Day Challenge. Share your journey, seek support and track your progress here!
    needing help
    Junior Member
    Posts: 16
    Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2019 3:46 pm

    Day 2 - Refusing to fail

    Fri Aug 02, 2019 4:56 pm

    Day 1 - Light bulb moment.

    13 years, countless wasted hours, my self dignity, mental health and a million dollars later and it was only today that I realised i m an addict. The overwhelming feeling of guilt and angry and self disapointment is too much. I have kids that depend on me! Just because they are fed, housed and so very loved doesn't mean the money I have spent is okay.
    I need help. Im going to reach out. I have hidden every aspect of my addiction from familly and friends and I cannot bring myself to tell them nor would they understand or be supportive.

    So, here I am, making my promise to myself and kids for everyone to see. This is my ugly truth and I cant do this alone.
    2 x
    Its4them
    Junior Member
    Posts: 2
    Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2019 10:54 pm

    Re: Refusing to fail

    Sat Aug 03, 2019 12:01 am

    Good on you! I’m in the same boat.. My husband knows I gamble (occasionally :rolleyes:) but has no idea how much! Today after gambling $1500 I am vowing not to fail & no longer gamble. I need to do this for me to prove I can & for them even though they really have no idea..
    3 x
    needing help
    Junior Member
    Posts: 16
    Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2019 3:46 pm

    Re: Refusing to fail

    Sat Aug 03, 2019 12:52 pm

    @Its4them We can definitely do this!
    Good on you!
    2 x
    needing help
    Junior Member
    Posts: 16
    Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2019 3:46 pm

    Re: Day 2 - Refusing to fail

    Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:47 pm

    Day 2 - It’s odd, I know the estimate of time and money I have wasted, experienced first hand, the feeling of loss and hopelessness when I lose the money. Why do I feel surprised that I have only just realise I have an addiction?
    I mean, I knew I was a d&$khead, but why did I not see that I was addict?
    I’m looking at my gambling history with new eyes and if I’m honest, I loved to gamble, I went because I wanted to, I could never leave once I got there though. When my money was running out, I began gambling out of desperation to regain.... but I’ve never tried to stop.
    Anyway, it doesn’t matter to me. What matters is now I know. It’s been an intense realisation and if I’m going to never gamble again, then I need to forget the past. Forgive myself. I can’t move forward while always looking back.
    I’m just making this all up as I go. Reading others stories and success makes me realise I am not alone and I can do this and I need a plan. I don’t have someone I can hand my finances to and I have read links and websites all day. There’s no tips for doing it on your own.
    So, save for the obvious staying away and staying busy, here is my plan.
    All bank cards have been cut up(nothing left in the anyway). There’s no credit cards and my credit rating is shot, so there’s no potential to lend and no people to borrow money off.
    I have an ING bank account so there’s no actual bank account to withdraw cash. Account has been linked to my phone and Apple Watch so I can still pay for petrol etc.
    Here is my problem, my main attraction is online. I have banned myself on the if anyone has ones I play and I don’t trust any others.

    I was thinking about setting up a fake email or something, and emailing itself my vetted statement details. That way, if I give the password and email to someone in the future, it’s all there and keeps me accountable.

    Pay day Monday and Wednesday. Nervous to say the least.

    If anyone that happens to read this has any suggestions or plan ideas for my financial management, I’d love to here them!

    I’ve quit smoking before, at least I know what the “hardest” parts are. With this, I have no idea
    I
    1 x
    needing help
    Junior Member
    Posts: 16
    Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2019 3:46 pm

    Re: Day 2 - Refusing to fail

    Sun Aug 04, 2019 11:09 pm

    Nailed it! 💪
    2 x
    needing help
    Junior Member
    Posts: 16
    Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2019 3:46 pm

    Re: Day 5 - Refusing to fail

    Mon Aug 05, 2019 2:43 pm

    I’m not craving the gambling at all, but the mindless emotional distraction. My anxiety is through the roof!
    0 x
    Mona58
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1021
    Joined: Sun Oct 15, 2017 11:44 am

    Re: Day 2 - Refusing to fail

    Mon Aug 05, 2019 9:05 pm

    Is it your payday?

    Try be mindful ... maybe empty a cupboard... wardrobe,.. bake a cake?

    It will pass and you'll be stronger for it.

    Mona
    1 x
    A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
    needing help
    Junior Member
    Posts: 16
    Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2019 3:46 pm

    Re: Day 7 - Refusing to fail

    Wed Aug 07, 2019 2:34 pm

    Day 7 - Still going strong. Seeing money in my bank account has driven me to keep it there.
    I’m going to book in and see a doctor for my anxiety. I always knew I had it but the gambling kept me occupied and distracted.

    One day at a time. I wish I had of woken up sooner.
    2 x
    TimTam
    Member
    Posts: 75
    Joined: Thu Oct 11, 2018 9:13 am

    Re: Day 2 - Refusing to fail

    Thu Aug 08, 2019 11:03 am

    You are doing fantastic @needing help !
    Sometimes its only after the gambling stops you are aware of other things in your life that you have to manage or deal with. Good luck for the doctors appt

    Tim Tam
    1 x
    Linda6
    Junior Member
    Posts: 17
    Joined: Sun Mar 09, 2014 12:41 am

    Re: Day 2 - Refusing to fail

    Thu Aug 08, 2019 10:21 pm

    Hi Tim Tam

    I just wanted to wish you good luck and to let you know that you are not alone and that I am also trying to beat the same addiction.

    1 pay day at a time :);


    Take care - L
    2 x

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