Re: Jess' 100 Day Challenge
So I got to 13 months gamble free... And then I gambled
This was last week and I have gambled on 3 occasions since then. I had been having a really hard time in my personal life for about 6 weeks prior to giving in to these disgusting machines, I think for me it was the one place I could go and know that all other thoughts would leave my mind while I was there. I'm very disappointed in myself, to have come this far and just throw all that hard work away. Yesterday I picked up the phone and called my counselor, I need to stop this before I go into self destruct mode and end up back at square one...
Something I have realised lately is that I gamble when I feel bad about myself, then I feel bad about myself for gambling and the visious cycle continues.. I have always struggled to love myself and find my self worth and I think this plays a big part in why I do these things because a part of me believes I don't deserve a better life. As of now, I make a promise to myself to be honest about my set backs and seek help when I need it. There has to be more to life than throwing my money and self respect away.
Thanks for taking the time to follow me on this rollercoaster.