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Re: Jess' 100 Day Challenge

Posted: Sun Sep 15, 2019 3:19 pm
by flipper (facilitator)
Hi @jessm86 ,

As the others already have, I also want to congratulate you on reaching the 100 day milestone! It sounds like it was really empowering for you to be able to take your purse into a gaming room and continue to feel secure within yourself.

How has life changed since you started Day 1 of the challenge? Have you thought of what might come next- any other goals? :)

Well done again!

- Flipper

Re: Jess' 100 Day Challenge

Posted: Mon Sep 16, 2019 12:21 pm
by BrittV (facilitator)
Image

Nice work jess!! Love that this is just the beginning :)
Happy day 106!

Re: Jess' 100 Day Challenge

Posted: Fri Oct 18, 2019 7:40 pm
by jessm86
Thank you all for your well wishes.
I had a really bad dad yesterday, I had an argument with my daughters father. During the argument he said "You are worth nothing!" after he had left all I wanted to do was gamble, it has now been 4 and a half months since I have gambled and these were by far the worst urges I have had in this time.
Fortunately I did not give in to these urges and spent the day laying about the house feeling useless.
When I was gambling I always felt that I was worth nothing and I have found the longer I do not gamble the more self worth I am regaining. But to hear those words, was like I was right back where I was 5 months ago. I see my counselor again in a couple of weeks and will be discussing with him ways in which I can avoid things like this being a trigger in the future.

Re: Jess' 100 Day Challenge

Posted: Sat Oct 19, 2019 3:12 pm
by dragon007 (facilitator)
@jessm86

Well done Jess, that took an incredible amount of strength and courage to not give in to urges.

What strategies did you use to stop yourself from gambling?

Regards
dragon007

Re: Jess' 100 Day Challenge

Posted: Sat Oct 19, 2019 8:27 pm
by jessm86
hi @dragon007 (facilitator)
Thanks for the reply, I guess for me I knew if I did gamble I would feel even more useless and that it would put me in a downwards spiral and then I would find it extremely hard to stop again. I don't want to give up on how far I have come just because of words that were said in the heat of the moment. And even if he really does think that I am worthless that is not how everyone will see me. I just have to continue doing the right thing and working on believing I am worthy of a better life.
Jess

Re: Jess' 100 Day Challenge

Posted: Sat Oct 26, 2019 10:15 am
by dragon007 (facilitator)
hi @jessm86

It is great that you can see your own self worth and value. Your husband does still sees your value, in time he will trust you again, be patient with yourself and him, recovery takes times to repair all things.

Take care.

dragon007

Re: Jess' 100 Day Challenge

Posted: Sun Oct 27, 2019 7:59 pm
by spentitallagain
Congrats Jess. Amazing achievement!!!

Re: Jess' 100 Day Challenge

Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2019 3:36 am
by Frank321
Hi Jess
Congratulations on the great achievement and being strong through the challenging times..
Keep up the great work :)
Your journey as inspired me

Re: Jess' 100 Day Challenge

Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2019 9:06 pm
by jessm86
just thought I would post a quick update, in less than a month my self exclusion will expire. I am not quite sure how I feel about this. I would like to think I have learnt enough in this time to continue my gamble free journey without the exclusion in place but I am also very aware that for me this is something that I will have to continue to work on for probably the rest of my life. If I choose to extend the exclusion for another year I will still have a safety net in place but leaves me with another year of not being able to attend special occasions like friends/family birthdays at these venues. even though I am only excluded from the gaming room I feel too uncomfortable to enter these venues as I would feel like the staff would be watching my every move the whole time.
would love to hear others personal experience or advice on this matter.
Thanks Jess

Re: Jess' 100 Day Challenge

Posted: Thu Nov 21, 2019 11:49 am
by Calvin (facilitator)
Hey Jess

If you feel it'll benefit you to continue another ban, then by all means to do it. It can only help you in the long run.

You have done so much work to stop gambling, you're journey so far has helped many others as well.