Fast forward and here I am again, sure I’m not in as bad of a situation as I was last time, my rent is paid I have food, and a little cash left, thou I have missed payments on my loan and payday loans for the last 2 fortnight’s, I have spoken with the payday loan places and have put arrangements in place as I did last time, thou I am nervous about calling my bank and have been putting it off, I will build up the courage and do it after the long weekend I am sure.
During my gambling free time last year I self excluded from 2 venues with was very helpful I have no desire to return to them, I however have found other venues that I now attend, I also need to build the courage to go and self exclude at them, which I will also make sure I do after the long weekend, this will be hopefully the key to me going without for 100 days and beyond.
I am tired of always worrying about money, I do have a decent job that pays well, realistically it’s not something I should have to be so stressed about through my own fault, I am tired of making excuses of why I can’t go out for dinner or coffee, I am tired of ringing places asking for payment extensions or arrangements, I am sick of being so angry about it, and it being my own fault.
I should also mention that I also attended gamblers anonymous meetings which where helpful, and it was really nice to be with a group of people with similar problems, however due to work commitments I ended up stopping going to the meetings, which realistically I could attend roughly every 3 weeks but now I find myself in a position where I am to embarrassed to return because I feel like I have failed them.
I hope this attempt is more successful then my last, I don’t want to get to another birthday and not have enough money to buy a present, I don’t want to get invited for coffee or dinner and make another excuse, I don’t want to get to another Christmas and not have enough to buy groceries to take something to enjoy on Christmas lunch and have to rely on other people, I think you would get my drift.
So here’s to hopefully 100 days and beyond. All the best to each and every one of you reading this.