It's been a very long time since I visited but today I hit rock bottom yet again and made a decision to return to the only place where I achieved some success. That was about 3 years ago where I abstained from the pokies for 3 months!! Since then I have barely just existed! Wasted more money, wasted my life, caused untold stress and grief to myself and today I have arrived at that place where I want freedom more than I want to play pokies!!
I lost my home to the pokies while grieving for my son who had a terminal illness!! I watched him die slowly for 23 years but what I didn't realise was that I was dying inside too!!
Since his death 9 years ago I have barely kept my head above water. I managed to pay rent and bills however 7 weeks ago on Xmas day I had a massive seizure resulting in 2 compression fractures to my spine. I was banned from driving so therefore Cld not work so I have had to terminate the lease. I am now listening bing between my son and daughter until The can drive again hopefully end of March. I have been in terrible pain daily however I still managed to catch buses to throw away what little money I have had!!
Today I compared my situation to an obese person wanting to lose weight!! I wld be the first to say 'Mate! If you want to get thin then you have to stop eating! I said to myself! 'You can't have money and any quality of life if you continue to give it away!! Something clicked and here I am once again beaten but with hope in my heart that I can beat this soul destroying demon!!!
I need to be back sharing with others who are suffering just like me!! It's good to be back. Day 1