Rock bottom apparantly has 2 trap doors and a tunnel thereafter!

[How the F did I get here]

Sorry, have not responded to a few of you will soon.
Just feeling very depressed at the moment.
Still kicking on, but just other factors, just feel quite empty and family stuff, but also just realized I don't have a friend in the world. Perhaps because of my life of gambling, always a no show at events etc because lack of money, depression.

Just sucks realizing that. Most women my age have girlfriends the speak to and catch up with, I have zero!

[Mona58]

Hi

Sorry That you are feeling down at the moment. You have done so well quitting gambling and smoking. It is very draining mentally & physically. They say that time heals and I believe so. Be KIND to yourself!

Give yourself healing time... things have a way of working out, Maybe get in contact with an old friend see how that goes ??

Mona

[How the F did I get here]

Hey Mona,

Just never thought I'd be this age and not have say a best girlfriend or girlfriends I regularly speak to or hang out with.
I see everyone else catching up with their mates or just talking about their friends.

My sibblings have so many friends and bestfriend friends.

Like, just still sinking in how my life of gambling has affected all areas of my life.
Pretty sure I'd have a whole bunch of friends if I hadn't bailed on so many invites due to no money, or depression because of having no money or how life was going.

Grrrr! Still going strong though, just need to focus on how fortunate I am for the things I do have in my life.

[Mona58]

Yes... You stay strong!!

Life is all about transitions! At my age (the last year of my 50s ) l look back and reflect on the many transitions I'd gone through! some were Not nice at all... But they were learning curves! so I think at this time but didn't then!

Friends come & go... You have changed... for the better... go show old friends this New you... But I think you will make new friends in time... !

stay strong... be kind to yourself,

Enjoy some of this "alone" time with your daughter! Maybe a sport or craft or music activity you can enrol her in... could led to new friends?

Mona

[How the F did I get here]

@FamilyFirst
Hey Lee,

Thanks encouragement.
Yes I am feeling great. Definitely feel all the better for not smoking, both physically and emotionally because I was smoking like a chimney as I was so depressed.
I was getting really depressed about smoking too, knowing that I'm jeopardizing my health which depressed me so much because of my daughter.

I'm at day 70 today and feeling great.
Got to day 74 I think last time in this challenge.

[How the F did I get here]

@M@Mona58 Thanks Mona, I agree with everything you wrote about transitions, I'm sure I'll make a life friend one day. Don't get me wrong I do have some friends I consider close but I see them once a year.

But I just need to focus on bettering myself atm anyway, self improvement.
Feeling good atm 70 days today!

[How the F did I get here]

@Mo@Mona58 I guess when I wrote not a friend in the world, I meant a best mate that is like family that I see and interact with by phone weekly as opposed to a couple of friends that I interact with on fb and see once a year.

[FamilyFirst]

Hi @How the F did I get here ,

Well done on remaining both gf and smoke free though trying times

To tell you the truth with the exception of my partner and family, I only have a couple friends left. I know I could re-kindle a few old friendships if I wanted to, but I am happy as I am in the early years of my recovery.

My life used to revolve around pubs, clubs and casinos and subsequently a lot of my old friends still enjoy that scene. I'm not going to put myself in a high risk situation where I'll be tempted to gamble.

I'm sucking at my cutting down on smoking... was going really well. Just having 4 a day since new years but been having a couple extra at work the last week or two... SWMBO bought me back some duty free from NZ last week....

chin up, your doing a fine job! a few more weeks and you'll be at 100 days

Cheers, Lee

[sml0490]

Your doing amazing! Keep up the good work and before you know it you’ll be at the 100 day mark

[How the F did I get here]

Feeling pretty bloody **** today!
So overwhelmed with life. Feel so pathetic.
Having a real day of, f#$% it.
I haven't coped with life today, hopfully the depression will subside tomorrow and I can think positive about life.
Still gamble free, just struggling big time with life.