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Re: Here goes everything...

Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2018 9:16 pm
by Hopeful_1
I agree with pamela - You're doing great!

Can totally relate to the anxiety and hope and desperation you get when you're in the venues knowing it's going to end bad.

Good plan staying busy with work and other recreational activities so you don't have time to cave in to urges

Having a partner who is on board definitely helps.

I have been begging mine to go to a GA meeting with me, but he won't go. I don't know if it's pride or laziness. Either way I know I can't change him. I can only change me so I will start with that first and see how we go.

The feeling of freedom from not playing must feel increasingly satisfying as time goes on. It's just been so long since I've felt that freedom so I forget how it feels.

Can you relate to that "free" feeling so far?

I wish you all the strength and determination to get through the next pay period as well as you did for the past 8 days.

You sound all over it though so I have complete faith in you :)

Re: Here goes everything...

Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2018 9:52 am
by BrittV (facilitator)
Crtny_b and Hopeful_1 you're both doing really well and showing great strength in your reflections!

This is a great place to rant Hopeful_1, don't be sorry!

Wondering how you went with pay day crtny_b?

Wishing you both strength coming into the weekend. Check in whenever you need/like!

Re: Here goes everything...

Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2018 12:43 pm
by Hopeful_1
Thanks BrittV

I have been wondering how Crtny_B went as well

Hope all is well

I'm feeling tempted today so just riding it out and back here for words of wisdom

have a great weekend!

Re: Here goes everything...

Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2018 8:04 am
by Crtny_b
Hi guys
Sorry to be MIA .. Unfortunately we had a slip up on Friday night. We lost close to $1800. Stupid

Felt so angry so depressed the next day.

Anyway back to try again I always make sure everything is paid first but it just means excess money never piles up like it should. Missed my counselling appt on Saturday because of other commitments.

Feeling really flat at the moment.

Hope everyone else is ok n going well.

Re: Here goes everything...

Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2018 10:45 am
by pamela
Brush yourself off and start again..its a lot of money to lose..but you can't get it back so don't dwell on it..just take another step forward..keep on trying

Re: Here goes everything...

Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2018 1:42 pm
by Crtny_b
Thanks. I’m really struggling. I Feel so embarrassed.

This pain and torture is self inflicted and when you disregard the emotional part of the addiction and just look at the physical actions of gambling it’s really upsetting and disappointing

I really hate myself right now.

Re: Here goes everything...

Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2018 11:32 pm
by pamela
Dont beat yourself up but next time you feel the urge to gamble..remember how you are feeling now and take that feeling with can overcome this addiction but it is hard work..if you want it bad enough you will achieve it even if you have the odd setback..keep going

Re: Here goes everything...

Posted: Tue Nov 20, 2018 2:33 pm
by Cazza
Feeling your pain too. I hate this and hate how i feel. But we can get back up and keep going. Keep strong and keep posting ??

Re: Here goes everything...

Posted: Tue Nov 20, 2018 9:04 pm
by Crtny_b
Thank you guys for being there.

I don’t even want to gamble. I don’t even want to do it. It’s that mistake of slipping up and entering into something you know is going to rain compulsion and regret.

I just can’t stop thinking about it ...

Re: Here goes everything...

Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2018 1:24 pm
by Hopeful_1
I'm with you. I keep slipping up too, but I keep coming back here to try and gain some strength to help next time I'm tempted

I blew some much needed money yesterday and am paying for it todayI had walked in with $380.. doubled it.. and then lost the lot being greedy

I hated myself so much afterwards, but am trying to move forward.

I hate my job

I hate that when I blow all this money, the realisation that I've had to work at my toxic job for x amount of days to cover it really makes me sad and angry.

Yes, I have looked elsewhere for work but I just feel so stuck.

Have been working at my job for over 15 years so the thought of working elsewhere is a bit daunting. Will it be worse than where I am now?

Anyhow glad to see you back Crtny_b.

Hope you're feeling better today