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Day one... Again

Posted: Thu May 24, 2018 2:46 am
by Persistent
So the long and the short is that I have been a chronic gambler for over 30 years now. I have managed to stop for a while a couple of times over the years and life was good during those times but I always manage to find my way back to the self destructive behavior. Does the urge to gamble ever leave a gambler? I don't think so, certainly not in my experience. I know the more I gamble the more I want to gamble and the more I abstain, the less powerful the urges get. Just like an alcoholic wants a drink, I think I will always want to gamble and that even when I have been on the wagon for some time, I will only ever be one punt away from being a full blown gambling addict again. I guess all I can do is keep trying, keep fighting the good fight. So here I am AGAIN, at day one of my recovery.

Re: Day one... Again

Posted: Thu May 24, 2018 7:21 am
by Mona58
Hi Persistent

Good question... Does the urge to gamble ever leave the gambler? The short answer is no... the long answer I "hope" is yes... l say this as a recovered alcoholic ... I don't want to drink ... nothing can tempt me to drink again. The same is happening with gambling...l dont want to gamble but at 7 months I'd say its still early days. Urges are pretty much gone.- it is temptations that bother me most....

Throughout life we always have to be mindful of What is good and what is NOT good for us.

Wishing you all the best and a smooth journey to a gamble free life!

Re: Day one... Again

Posted: Thu May 24, 2018 8:38 pm
by How the F did I get here
Hi Persistent,

Yep, totally get what you are saying about one punt away from being a full blown gambler. I went like 5 years and then pretty much one or two visits back and it was like I never left.
And yes just keep at it. Be PERSISTENT!!

All the best, you can do it!

Re: Day one... Again

Posted: Fri May 25, 2018 2:52 am
by Persistent
Hi 'Mona58' and 'How the F did I get here', thanks for touching base.

I am feeling a LOT better today. Day one behind me, day two to deal with but keeping myself busy to ward of any urges. Today is a day that I would typically be at Bingo. If it was just Bingo that I gambled on, that would be doable because it's not as expensive as the Pokies and I have a lot more wins on Bingo than I ever did on the Pokies but of course, being a gambler and the Bingo being at clubs, I end up back in front of a Poker machine and that's never a good thing. I rue the day that I ever put a coin in a Poker machine. These days of course it's $50 notes, not coins anymore. They really are the cancer in our society and there is no escaping them, they are everywhere. I've noticed in the last year that they have even started advertising big pictures of Poker machines outside of hotels.... talk about a trigger to gamblers!

Got some money in yesterday which I will pay off one of my many credit cards instead of feeding it into a Poker machine. I currently have just over 60K in credit card debt to pay off, some as high as 29.9% interest and I owe the tax office a few thousand so it's going to be tough going for a long time. I don't even want to think about where I SHOULD be at this point in my life, it's too depressing. Frigging gambling, it's such an insidious curse. It's also very isolating which is why this site is so great because the only people who won't judge us gamblers harshly are our fellow addicts. Empathy is a wonderful teacher.

'How the F did I get here' I hear you, that's how strong the addiction is. Even after all those years in which you abstained, within a couple of hits at it, you were right back into the throws of it all again. This is why so many gamblers relapse, they underestimate the power of what they are dealing with. They think they are back in the drivers seat again and then whamo! Your out of all control again blowing every cent you have. The truth is that we can never let our guard down once in recovery because if we do, the results as you well know will be devastating.

'Mona58' it is so great that you managed to overcome your addiction to alcohol. I have actually developed a bit of a problem with that as well by self medicating when I feel like **** from losing money gambling.... it's an evil web we weave. Anyway, good for you that is awesome. :)

Re: Day one... Again

Posted: Fri May 25, 2018 7:42 am
by pamela
Hi Persistent..I guess the key to stopping is that hunger to give up that s##t life that pokies make us live..Just as we choose to gamble,and it is a choice.we have to choose not to play...not so easy but can be done..I an neatly 3 years gamble free I "cured"? Probably not..but Although I think about poker machines I have lost the urge to play..and that's the give up such a long standing habit is hard,we all know that but perserverence is the key..dont give up or in and be strong..good luck

Re: Day one... Again

Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2018 11:04 am
by BrittV (facilitator)
Hi persistent,

Good on you for reaching out for support on here. Keep checking in and sharing your journey, you're not alone!

Just wanted to check in and see how you've been going this week?

Re: Day one... Again

Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2018 10:20 pm
by How the F did I get here
Hi Persistent,

How are things travelling with you? Hope you are doing well. ☺