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  • Here goes!

    For those taking the 100 Day Challenge. Share your journey, seek support and track your progress here!
    Cazza
    Senior Member
    Posts: 261
    Joined: Sat Apr 07, 2018 7:23 am

    Re: Here goes!

    Mon Apr 30, 2018 10:34 am

    Woohoo well done Tara. Love how positive you are and how you keep encouraging everyone on their posts. If we all hold each other up ww can do this xx Stay strong 😊
    0 x
    How the F did I get here
    Senior Member
    Posts: 263
    Joined: Sun Apr 08, 2018 11:05 pm

    Re: Here goes!

    Mon Apr 30, 2018 12:21 pm

    Cazza wrote:Woohoo well done Tara. Love how positive you are and how you keep encouraging everyone on their posts. If we all hold each other up ww can do this xx Stay strong 😊
    Funny you say that Cazza.
    I have always been encouraging of others, but found it hard to be encouraging and gentle with myself, trying to change that.
    0 x
    Cazza
    Senior Member
    Posts: 261
    Joined: Sat Apr 07, 2018 7:23 am

    Re: Here goes!

    Tue May 01, 2018 8:45 am

    Yeah I feel you on that.
    How are you going today? Hope all is well 😊
    0 x
    How the F did I get here
    Senior Member
    Posts: 263
    Joined: Sun Apr 08, 2018 11:05 pm

    Re: Here goes!

    Tue May 01, 2018 9:21 pm

    Was doing great! Was trying to get back on track with my eating habbits today. Got all through the day and just had a binge.
    Im day 11 gamble free
    Im day 2 no cigarettes
    And was hoping to be binge free too ☹
    Always had a bad relationship with food,but it's become apparant that Its way more serious than that. Pretty sure I have an eating disorder.

    I cant control myself when I binge, just like when I gamble. Loose complete control. And just like after Ive gambled and depressed I become withdrawn and short tempered with my daughter, same thing happens after I binge.

    Just feel like my life is such a struggle, even taking away the gambling! Feel at war with myself every day. If its not one thing its another.

    Just feel like such a failure as a person and especially a parent and not worthy of my daughter at all. Just feel so guilty that she got stuck with a mother as unstable as me. Just really sucks......hard to deal with.
    Just wish I could be like other people that have their **** together, but its just so hard for me. Its pathetic
    0 x
    Jc
    Senior Member
    Posts: 139
    Joined: Mon Sep 07, 2015 5:13 am

    Re: Here goes!

    Tue May 01, 2018 9:38 pm

    How the F did I get here wrote:Was doing great! Was trying to get back on track with my eating habbits today. Got all through the day and just had a binge.
    Im day 11 gamble free
    Im day 2 no cigarettes
    And was hoping to be binge free too ☹
    Always had a bad relationship with food,but it's become apparant that Its way more serious than that. Pretty sure I have an eating disorder.

    I cant control myself when I binge, just like when I gamble. Loose complete control. And just like after Ive gambled and depressed I become withdrawn and short tempered with my daughter, same thing happens after I binge.

    Just feel like my life is such a struggle, even taking away the gambling! Feel at war with myself every day. If its not one thing its another.

    Just feel like such a failure as a person and especially a parent and not worthy of my daughter at all. Just feel so guilty that she got stuck with a mother as unstable as me. Just really sucks......hard to deal with.
    Just wish I could be like other people that have their **** together, but its just so hard for me. Its pathetic
    Dont be too hard on yourself, its extremely difficult to tackle multiple addictions at once. I always try and cut sugars/carbs (theyre evil), to lose weight. Then I end up cheating on my diet. Once I have one bad meal, Ill end up eating so much crap in an entire night.

    You'll be surprised how food and mood are linked. When I cut these sugars out of my diet, I feel amazing, but of course it never lasts. 😔 Everytime Ive temporarily stopped gambling, Ive always had an extremely clean diet, then I'll eat bad food, feel like crap, then bet.

    All the best!
    0 x
    Mona58
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1045
    Joined: Sun Oct 15, 2017 11:44 am

    Re: Here goes!

    Tue May 01, 2018 9:38 pm

    You are taking on alot...

    Are you getting counselling support? Call the Gamb helpline 1800858858.

    Try and be kind to yourself ...
    0 x
    A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
    Jo-Anne
    Senior Member
    Posts: 457
    Joined: Fri Feb 12, 2016 10:40 pm

    Re: Here goes!

    Tue May 01, 2018 9:57 pm

    11 Days gambling free.......yay Tara well done.

    I agree with the others, you are trying so hard, give yourself some credit for what you are doing to improve things for yourself and your daughter. Try not to be too hard on yourself.....and those negative thoughts in you head........ are not to be believed!! You are amazing ok.

    One day at a time......
    0 x
    Cazza
    Senior Member
    Posts: 261
    Joined: Sat Apr 07, 2018 7:23 am

    Re: Here goes!

    Thu May 03, 2018 8:55 am

    How are you going Tara?
    Parenting is hard at the best of times but when we have addictions it puts so much more pressure on us as well.
    I know you think that you are failing your daughter, but how?
    You are aware that you have addictions you are trying like hell to give them up. You are trying to turn your life around.
    That is good parenting. Good parents never stop trying to do the best for their kids.
    We forget that sometimes we don't have to be perfect, we become our own worst enemies.
    I also believe that our kids need to see that sometimes Mums or Dads aren't perfect. That even adults need help with things and that we learn new skills as well.
    Keep strong and keep posting Tara. We are all here for each other on this forum 😊
    0 x
    How the F did I get here
    Senior Member
    Posts: 263
    Joined: Sun Apr 08, 2018 11:05 pm

    Re: Here goes!

    Fri May 04, 2018 9:44 am

    Thanks all.
    Feeling a bit better. And yes think I was definitely taking on a bit much.
    Problem is, in the past my vices all seem to go hand in hand.

    Id have a food massive binge, then id be depressed so then I would gamble and then I would smoke. Or Id gamble and smoke then loose all my money and be depressed so then I would binge. Like a Domino effect.

    For me after I binge I feel the same guilt and depression as I do after I gamble maybe not as severe though.

    So yes I will try and give myself some slack and try to take on one thing at a time, one day at a time.
    14 days gamble free
    5 days smoke free.

    Think the biggest thing for me is to try to live in the present instead of the future and the past.
    But its so hard not to dwell on what has been lost and worry about the future.

    Thanks all great having such support in your weak and depressed moments.
    X
    0 x
    Mona58
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1045
    Joined: Sun Oct 15, 2017 11:44 am

    Re: Here goes!

    Fri May 04, 2018 2:48 pm

    It is hard not to dwell... But it ok to dwell sometimes especially when it makes you more determined to conquer your 'vices'!

    stay strong!
    0 x
    A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius

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