Page 1 of 4

3rd time, must do it this time 😊

Posted: Sat Feb 24, 2018 5:49 pm
by suz-free
I'm going to come here as much as I can to write about my progress.
Today is day 1 for me of being pokie free. I've tried the challenge twice before, once few years back which was only short, maybe not even 2 weeks, can't quite remember. The 2nd time was last year, it lasted for 2 weeks. This is my 3rd attempt to do the 100 day challenge. I must do it this time I'm telling myself. One thing I've noticed about myself is that I have determination. When I was 18, I went for my drivers license and failed twice. But I didn't give up, on the 3rd time, I was nervous but determined and I got it! It seems to me that it's going to be similar in some ways, I'm going to be nervous with this challenge when my urges strike, but I'm determined to get there just like I did for my drivers licence. Another thing for me to add is that maybe I had to go through all the suffering on my relapses to learn and help others. I questioned myself so many times about why I failed but almost each time I went to the pokie venues, I became angrier at the machines and learnt more about how I was feeling. Even though I felt so broken, I was actually becoming stronger and more ready with determination to quit them and now here I am. Day 1 :)

Re: 3rd time, must do it this time 😊

Posted: Sat Feb 24, 2018 6:45 pm
by SistaB
Welcome - YOU CAN DO IT.
I found the last time I lapsed, I wasnt enjoying the pokies as much and quite bored with it. Remember how cranky the machines make you and I am sure you dont want to be that person being angry at a stupid machine.

One day at a time and use the diary to get your thoughts out of your head. Set yourself goals and limit cash access if you can. Call the banks and talk to the manager for help if you need to.

I'm on day 7 and feeling okay, trick it to distract yourself from urges

Stay strong

Re: 3rd time, must do it this time 😊

Posted: Sat Feb 24, 2018 7:10 pm
by suz-free
Hi SistaB,
thanks so much, I really appreciate your kind words and It's nice to know I'm not alone in this. So many people that haven't encountered a gambling addiction don't understand what it's like, they don't understand why it's been difficult for us to stop in the past. My sister and some family say to me "no way could I put my hard earned money inside, that is money you need". I see now they are so right in saying that but they don't understand that the problem is not about the money, it's about the addiction. Only those who have this problem or gone through it truly understand. That's why I'm greatful for this gambling help site and having friends here, it would be difficult for me to quit on my own, I'm going to need advice along the way & supporters like you :)

Re: 3rd time, must do it this time 😊

Posted: Sun Feb 25, 2018 10:45 am
by pamela
Suzybeauty the machines are made to addict..they are the problem not just have to retrain your brain and the way you think.It is extremely hard but aim all your anger towards the machines and not you..learn what your triggers to gamble are and work on them..payday is always hard but work out a strategy so you dont have access to your can do it but you have to work at it and really get to the point where you say enough is enough and mean it and when you get there..stopping will be easy because you just wont ever want to feed those machines again
Good luck and dont give up

Re: 3rd time, must do it this time 😊

Posted: Sun Feb 25, 2018 11:32 am
by Mona58
Congratulations Suzy on overcoming your fear to try the 100 day Challenge again with renewed determination.

Perhaps get yourself a little journal or notebook and write down your positives (and negatives)! I am sure you will find that hidden strength you have to fight that pesky demon ...

Suzy its not going to be easy.... prepare for "payday" ... use all your determination to fight the urges !

Re: 3rd time, must do it this time 😊

Posted: Sun Feb 25, 2018 11:46 pm
by suz-free
Hi Pamela, you are a beautiful friend, thank you so much for your kind words. Yes, the machines are definitely the problem. So many others who don't understand think we are the problem and it's difficult to talk to them about it. I really like it here and talking to gambling help line councellors has helped me too.
Keep posting to me, I'll need supporters like you. Thanks again Pam, Day 2 for me is just about over as almost midnight while I'm posting this, Suzy :)

Re: 3rd time, must do it this time 😊

Posted: Sun Feb 25, 2018 11:55 pm
by suz-free
Hi Mona,
thanks so much for your support beautiful friend, really appreciate.
Yes, a journal of my positives and also goals about this journey is an excellent idea. One positive and a goal I want to say, is that I'm looking forward to having pocket money for me each week and not for them :D Keep posting to me as I will need people like you who understand. Thanks again Mona, day 2 just about gone, bring on day 3, I'm ready :D

Re: 3rd time, must do it this time 😊

Posted: Mon Feb 26, 2018 7:35 am
by Mona58
It is going to be hard Suzy.

Don't count on money for the time being. Focus on one day at a time. Focus on being Gamble Free!

If you think about having money, as I did , you may find yourself getting disappointed. You know how much you get ... pay essentials... buy a little journal. and forget about money. You survived without it ...

Being gamble free will make you see the life around you. There's alot of emotions going to surface and resurface ... welcome and nurture these... and keep focus on NOT gambling. Keep telling yourself I don't gamble anymore ... I have a NEW life now.

Stay Strong. You can do it!

Re: 3rd time, must do it this time 😊

Posted: Wed Feb 28, 2018 10:33 am
by suz-free
Thanks Mona & anyone reading this. Today is day 5. I have to go out there (not the pokies but I mean outside to supermarket/shops and job agency). Up until now, I've been home, only went to supermarket/shops with my partner on weekend. I have 50 in my account, my income day is next week. Previously, as well as my income, I'd take anything I have left in my account to the pokies but today I have to stay strong. My plan, hopefully a coffee & snack, a small gift for myself as a reward for not going to pokies & few items from supermarket. Let's see how I go for day 5, I'll be back here soon to say. Peace and love to you all :)

Re: 3rd time, must do it this time 😊

Posted: Wed Feb 28, 2018 6:25 pm
by suz-free
Phew! A relief for me, I stayed away from the pokies as planned. Bought myself a new eyeshadow as my reward presi today. Also bought some groceries and back home now. Did the temptation come? Only once but it quickly went and I was fine. I hope it continues to be this way. Day 5 almost over :D