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Re: Let the 2018 be my GF year!

Posted: Tue Feb 06, 2018 7:25 am
by Jasmine
Sadly, I lost my battle. I gambled last night after all and lost $8,000 by 3am.
As you would imagine, I feel so upset and depressed by this. I don't know why I started gambling again. Having access to money is certainly bad for me. Yesterday my friend who borrowed me money returned it to me. The first thing came to my mind is 'let's have some fun!'. It's certainly no fun last night. Thousands are gone....I could have bought so many things for myself with that money.
I am numb right now. I feel like chasing the loss...I feel stupid to throw that money away....I know I will only lose more, but right now I am so upset about the loss more than the gambling. Not good!

Re: Let the 2018 be my GF year!

Posted: Tue Feb 06, 2018 10:40 am
by Mona58
Oh... Jasmine! I don't know what to say! You know what you have to do! It is very hard ... very very hard! I feel for you so badly. Talk to your counsellorl You need to be very strict with yourself. Dust off and start again from the beginning... You CAN do it. !! Believe in yourself!!

Re: Let the 2018 be my GF year!

Posted: Tue Feb 06, 2018 11:13 am
by Jasmine
Thanks Mona. I am really unsure if I can beat it, but of course I will keep trying.
Yes, it's impossible for to do it if I have a hold of money. It's incredibly sad but I am afraid that's how it will have to be.
I am sad that I lost those thousands of dollars. I was so wanting to do some shopping but found those dresses too much to pay for. But look at me feeding a stupid machine as if the notes are just a paper with no value.
Incredibly sad.

Re: Let the 2018 be my GF year!

Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2018 6:05 pm
by Jasmine
It has been a while so I wish to report myself and provide an update here.
I have been very busy at work and so exhausted everyday so I haven't been gambling for a few weeks now. Feeling good about it.
Two weeks ago I went to the GA meeting because I was curious about it. So I thought why not giving it a go. It was quite an experience to me! A group of 15 people from all walks of life but live the same misery from gambling. I felt so grateful afterwards as people were so supportive and non judgmental. I strongly encourage people to go. I cried so much there and I can feel that people shared my pain. Lots of cuddles from the ladies there ;)
So far so good and I will try my best to prolong this feeling. Stay strong everyone. We all deserve to live a healthy life!

Re: Let the 2018 be my GF year!

Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2018 2:04 pm
by Mona58
Well done Jasmine!

Re: Let the 2018 be my GF year!

Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2018 11:41 am
by Jasmine
After more than a month feeling so good about myself...here I am again. Losing $10k in a few hours...feeling miserable this weekend. So hard to beat the demon within.
My credit card is maxed again after it wasn't being used for many weeks. Feeling so bad right now.

Re: Let the 2018 be my GF year!

Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2018 12:13 pm
by Jo-Anne
Hi Jasmine......I really know how you feel right now.....as I have been there many many times. It is so brave of you to tell your story here......it shows that you do very much want to beat this terrible addiction.......I have not been on the forum for a while but came back to help manage not relasping again........I will be thinking about you today......stay strong and take an hour at a time today . We are all here for you as we support each other thick or thin......One day at a time.....then one day more.