Re: how to take control over finances
I read your post with such sadness, that is what my ex-husband would have been feeling and thinking. He did not understand I needed professional help though, and when I told him many times, he said...."You have got me, Why do you need anyone else to help you??" We were living in a remote town, and when I was desperate and ended up being admitted to hospital they said "Oh we only have drug counseling here"!!
After my separation my family were very strict on NOT giving me any money, so when I had nothing, I lived on nothing. I still owe $3000 to a previous landlord, but he will have it by Christmas, and he has not chased me for it, because he accepted my promise to pay when I could. I totally THANK my family for doing this, as having no money for food is the worst thing. One time I remember going into a shop and walking around trying to "steal" some meat......I couldn't go through with it though.
I am saying all this because I think unless your husband hits "rock bottom" he may not seek the help he needs. I would be continuing to urge him to go to counseling, (by himself would be good) and do all in your power to separate your finances, especially when you return to work.
The other thing is he may be frightened of showing you his bank accounts. It may be a good idea to tell him that you will draw a line in the sand......as hard as that is....."It is what it is".... Then he might just be able to stop chasing losses (If that is what he is doing), and trying to "fix" the situation. I think he might be relieved and it could be a turning point.
I am still a bit worried about giving you advice. But I know how the gambling mind works, so please run all this by your counselor.
Please keep posting if it helps you Emma.....I hope that my experiences have put a few things into perspective.
Stay strong Emma....you are doing everything right.....your girls need your strength as well.