It's a frightening addiction

Is someone you care about experiencing issues with gambling? Come in here to discuss your concerns and get some helpful tips.

Re: It's a frightening addiction

Postby sj » Sun Apr 03, 2016 11:16 pm

Just wanted to add....I am also in a situation where I'm supporting a partner who has stopped gambling. I think stopping and having counseling really triggers a lot of issues for gamblers as they have used gambling to suppress them. Please listen to your partner's cry for help, if he is speaking about suicidal thoughts he is extremely unwell and needs to be taken to emergency - if he won't go call an ambulance or the police. In hospital he will be safe and they will not let him leave until he is safe and there is a plan in place.

I did the above last week and my bf is in the hospital (again). He is having an episode of major depression which i believe has been triggered by quitting gambling.

Try to remember that he is not well when he is rude or selfish- how he is treating you is a reflection of how he feels about himself.

ultimately though- you cannot fix him. He needs help and you must look after yourself. Don't stay in an emotionally abusive relationship with no end in sight if he refuses support
sj
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Re: It's a frightening addiction

Postby sj » Sat Apr 02, 2016 2:03 am

Ami I am sorry you are in such a terrible place. It is so hard. As much as yes, he does have a disease, you are a person with feelings and needs and it sounds like this is emotionally abusive. You do not deserve this life and you aren't responsible for your boyfriends choices :(
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Re: It's a frightening addiction

Postby pamela » Wed Mar 30, 2016 8:58 am

Hi Ami..you are in a really hard place and I really feel for you..I guess you just have to decide what is best for you..it is very hard to help someone when they dont want help..but we will try and offer as much support as we can..its a crippling disease..I hope you sort things out
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Re: It's a frightening addiction

Postby Ami » Wed Mar 30, 2016 6:05 am

I'm getting so tired of him not listening to me. He says everyone wants him to work but he just wants to relax. And I think that's very important for his recovery. But he is working so much. Last night he went on about everyone hounding him to work. But they all have no idea what he is going through, so of course they push him for work. I tell him to tell them so they can help. But he straight up doesn't listen. I think it's so important to have people around you supporting you. Not just me. Who apparently says the wrong thing. I can't get him to listen. If I tell him this he will blame me for ruining his mood or his day or I'd get him down and then we will want to gamble. I feel like I can't speak what's on my mind. I guess that's what this is good for me for then :/
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Re: It's a frightening addiction

Postby Ami » Mon Mar 28, 2016 4:48 pm

The worse thing I think I struggle with is not knowing if he has been to the pokies. One night he will talk about it non stop and be posative and tell me he will change. Few days after are good, then his mood changes the more he works. And then I get suss. But when I ask how he has been going I get anger. I'm just trying to be supporting. Plus I suspect he has fallen over again, and I need to know these things. He has been working all easter and got $100 cash (the rest tomorrow or Wednesday) and it's gone. Two days it's gone. So I think where is it? I see now recipes in his wallet, he left his empty wallet in his car (I find he does that when he is pissed off with money)
I think two people owe him cash from the jobs his done, I make myself sick with worry when I know cash is coming. He has signed up to gambler's help but I have no idea how often he needs or utilize it. I told him I wanna see someone together, he said in time when he is ready. I can't push these things, he just gets sick of it. It's hard to try and help, sometimes if I try and talk to him he gets mad and shuts me down or gets negative about it.
I always remain posative and try to keep his spirits up but he has depression. So it's hard.
Today he took half the day off, we were supposed to do something together but he just slept. He slept on the couch during the movie now he is in bed, it's not even 5pm.
It's a clear indicator to me as to what's going on. He tries to sleep away the pain. I just want to fast forward past all this hell
Ami
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Re: It's a frightening addiction

Postby Jo-Anne » Sat Mar 19, 2016 8:25 pm

I have already contacted the moderators to try to get rid of these people invading our forums......not you Ami ..these idiots are popping up everywhere on the forum and it is not right.

Added 2/4/16

The previous post has now been deleted by the administrator
Last edited by Jo-Anne on Sat Apr 02, 2016 10:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: It's a frightening addiction

Postby Ami » Sat Mar 19, 2016 7:42 pm

My boyfriends rego is due Wednesday, and there's no way he will have the money by then, $665
I can't pay it, that's a weeks pay (if I'm lucky)
He was supposed to work this weekend to pay it but he isn't working tomorrow, he is taking the day off, he needs a break. So now he is going to drive a week with no rego. He is fine with it there's nothing he can do. But I'm freaking out! What the hell 😢
Also I've been sick the last few months with stomach cramps, I've had tests and scans but nothing came up, it's from stress. When I told my bf he gets mad at me and says I'm not the one with the addition and I'm not the one suffering or the one who was going to end her life. Apparently it's all about him and if I mention how I feel he shuts me down. So around him I have to bottle up all my emotions and frustrations. I don't get how he can't see how it effects me as well. It's all about him. Which I get, he is going through all this but I'm struggling too. He won't see it. He won't give me anything.
Why does he do that? I'm not trying to make this all about me but I am apart of this.
Anyways, I'm very scared about money atm.
Ami
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Re: It's a frightening addiction

Postby Ami » Fri Mar 18, 2016 5:53 pm

I was going to call the hot line for myself today but I ran out of.time after work.
I want to do it when I'm more calm and when I'm alone.
I want to see someone with.him, so does he, he knows he has to he knows that's the right decision. But for some reason he is scared and keeps putting it off. He will go off the rails and get mad and i say there's help out there but he just won't. He signed up to a website but that's as far as its gone. He puts getting help off and I can't make him do anything. So I don't know what I'm supposed to do. :confused
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Re: It's a frightening addiction

Postby pamela » Fri Mar 18, 2016 10:51 am

Ami you are both in a really bad place at the moment..perhaps you need some counselling to help you get through this tough time..hopefully you can remain strong as hard as it will be..gambling is a terrible addiction for everyone
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Re: It's a frightening addiction

Postby Jo-Anne » Fri Mar 18, 2016 10:16 am

I'm so sorry Ami, I am going to work now, and will come back on later. Please stay strong and look after yourself. I honestly think it would help if you spoke to the helpline just for yourself. x
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