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  • It's a frightening addiction

    Is someone you care about experiencing issues with gambling? Come in here to discuss your concerns, connect, and get some helpful tips.
    Ami
    Junior Member
    Posts: 28
    Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2016 3:32 pm

    Re: It's a frightening addiction

    Tue Apr 19, 2016 6:23 pm

    Does the anger and frustration ever go away?
    The past few nights after work he has been almost unbeatable.
    I can't even remember the last time we hugged and kissed.
    There's a wall between us when we go again bed. I may as well sleep alone.
    He is irritated all the time and I'm the source of it. Because I'm the only one around I'm the one who cops it too. He is just so short.
    I hope it passes soon. I really can't keep doing this. It's so hard to live with. Being with someone who is never here, it's like his thoughts are in another room. I don't feel loved.
    God I hope this passes. I've been strong by his side for so long.
    I'm trYing to stay strong.
    I just needed to type my thoughts down.
    0 x
    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1709
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: It's a frightening addiction

    Wed Apr 20, 2016 8:27 am

    Ami how tough thigs sound for you..have yo considered counselling for yourself? It might be beneficial
    0 x
    Ami
    Junior Member
    Posts: 28
    Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2016 3:32 pm

    Re: It's a frightening addiction

    Fri Apr 22, 2016 7:53 pm

    I have but I've just never really then around to it I guess .
    I haven't come across any face to face resources in my area (I get nervous talking to strangers on the phone) 😂
    0 x
    sj
    Junior Member
    Posts: 16
    Joined: Thu Nov 19, 2015 9:58 pm

    Re: It's a frightening addiction

    Mon Apr 25, 2016 4:45 pm

    Hi Ami, it sounds like a terrible time which I can relate to.
    The anger and frustration is part of the process. Definitely some counselling would really really help you. You need someone who is on your side as well.
    For me I started doing a course in mindfulness and meditation which has really helped me cope through going through some of this stuff, and doing a lot more swimming and yoga. It sounds abstract Ami but I find if I take an hour out each day to do something by myself it helps me cope.
    Ultimately, your partner needs help that you cannot give and you need to accept that you're not a professional and its not fair for him to heap all of this on you. He needs to accept responsibility and seek professional help
    0 x
    sj
    Junior Member
    Posts: 16
    Joined: Thu Nov 19, 2015 9:58 pm

    Re: It's a frightening addiction

    Mon Apr 25, 2016 5:03 pm

    And please have your own money! Have your own seperate bank account and do not give him your money!
    As harsh as it is, as they say they need to hit rock bottom before they really change. It doesn't sound like he's even there though (although you might be)
    If he realises there is no one to bail him out when he has nothing and needs to face the consequence by himself. .that may just the catalyst he needs.
    I made it very clear to my partner that we couldnt have a future together if he didn't quit. (And have every intention of following that through if he starts again.) Its been a hell of a tough time for us but he actually hasnt gambled since. It is possible and people can change. But bailing them out just lets them stay in that cycle.
    On the weekend my bf went to the club where his mates were drinking and playing pokies and he didn't even have a desire to gamble. Just wanted to share that it IS possible !
    0 x
    Jo-Anne
    Senior Member
    Posts: 457
    Joined: Fri Feb 12, 2016 10:40 pm

    Re: It's a frightening addiction

    Mon Apr 25, 2016 5:23 pm

    As difficult as it is to read your comments sj, I agree completely.
    0 x
    Ami
    Junior Member
    Posts: 28
    Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2016 3:32 pm

    Re: It's a frightening addiction

    Tue May 10, 2016 3:33 pm

    Just wondering is buying tatts lotto tickets another form of gambeling to replace the pokies?
    Is it healthy?
    He told me about the ticket he brought few days ago for Saturday, I found it screwed up (he clearly didn't win)
    And i found another one folded and it was under the couch cushion where the other one was in the back room.
    I'm concerned because of where I found it (hidden) which makes me think ****? Should I be worried about this?
    Because two lotto tickets wouldn't worry me. Especially if he told me. So why tell me about one and not the other?
    What's going on with him?
    0 x
    Ami
    Junior Member
    Posts: 28
    Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2016 3:32 pm

    Re: It's a frightening addiction

    Sat May 14, 2016 5:34 pm

    He has his card and I don't have access to his net banking anymore.
    He hates that I'm creeping on him and he feels like I don't trust him. I'd do what ever he wants to make him feel better but now I have no idea what's happening. I'm at the stage where I just have to trust him.
    It's hard to pretend I'm not worried. I mean I hate not knowing.
    But I can't turn around and demand his card back. He thinks he is ok and i have no clue if that's true.
    He tells me to give him til the end of the month (may) to get better then he will make the change of accounts and I'll pay the bills and he will only have some cash.
    He changes his mind alot. And I'm find it hard to keep up. First it I'll do it tomorrow then it's next week then it's at the end of the month. He was supposed to change banks weeks ago. Still hasn't. I don't know. I guess alls i can do is trust everything is going to plan and he will sort himself out. But I have no clue where he is at.
    0 x
    User avatar
    AnnaB (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 363
    Joined: Wed Oct 24, 2012 1:15 pm

    Re: It's a frightening addiction

    Mon May 16, 2016 3:40 pm

    Hi Ami, thanks for your post...I'd be interested to hear what others think of this question about tatts. There's a few different schools of thought. For some people like those in GA the thought is that no form of gambling is ok and that can work for some. For others, it is only one form of gambling that is a problem...for example the problem is with the pokies and they might put a bet on the Melbourne Cup once a year. I wonder if ultimately it's about the behaviour attached to the gambling - what do other people think....
    0 x
    sj
    Junior Member
    Posts: 16
    Joined: Thu Nov 19, 2015 9:58 pm

    Re: It's a frightening addiction

    Thu May 19, 2016 12:31 pm

    Regarding the tatts... .I think the fact there is secrecy around it is a red flag. The issue is the lying and the lack of trust.
    Ami, he needs boundaries. Until you give him boundaries, it won't stop. He'll always need another week or another month. How many years can you do this for?
    0 x

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