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  • *sigh*

    Is someone you care about experiencing issues with gambling? Come in here to discuss your concerns, connect, and get some helpful tips.
    Urban1
    Junior Member
    Posts: 3
    Joined: Thu Aug 07, 2014 4:05 am

    *sigh*

    Wed Jan 27, 2016 7:33 am

    My husband was doing really well. He had his gambling under control for over a year, I really felt like I could stop thinking about it. I got paid out a lump sum of maternity leave payments recently, paid off our credit cards and those little bills we were behind on so that he had less pressure on him as the 'sole bread winner' while I'm on leave this year...... then he told me he had used his credit card. Turns out he had maxed it out (I had just paid it off after it was maxed out). I felt hurt, angry, broken, frustrated..... Now, 2 days out from my due date, feeling positive as hubby had already begun to pay of the "new debt" and surrendered his credit card (deregulate ring his card details from the Sportsbet account), I find out he has transferred money out of our joint account that our direct debit bills come from just yesterday. I am now earful that once I put the money he gave me onto his credit card to start paying that off that he will rack that up again. He knows I can view our joint account, he knows it upsets me and I find it hard to cope with, so why does he do it?!
    His answer is that he has no control over anything else, even though I tried to pint out he can't control the gambling either it ends up controlling him. I stress every time he goes to catch up with his mate at the pub as I know he will gamble and no one else knows what we are going through. I don't know how to talk to him about it without being angry and showing how hurt i am which I know initially isn't entirely constructive to help the situation. He says his life is going to change, that he won't have money for himself etc once he is the sole earner so this is kind of a last ditch bit of fun, I am struggling to believe it, but I don't think he's ready to see it is a problem (again). My hope is that this time he gets formal help but he says he doesn't have the time nor money.
    Anyone been in this situation beforehand something similar? I feel so heartbroken, I want so much better for him and in turn for us and our soon-to-be little family.
    0 x
    Jerry (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 331
    Joined: Thu Nov 26, 2015 1:02 pm

    Re: *sigh*

    Wed Jan 27, 2016 5:08 pm

    Hi Urban1,

    Sorry to hear about your situation. Dealing with a partners gambling problemis incredibly hard for anyone to deal with at the best of times, but just when you are starting a family must make it even tougher. Hopefully you can find some people that have been there and can provide some support. Thankfully there are lots of places that you can go to to get help. Gamblers helpline (1800 858 858) might be able to lend an ear and give you a couple of suggestions as to how you can encourage your husband to get some help. He says that he doesn't have the time or the money to get help, but he has the time to gamble. There are lots of different gambling counsellors out there, most of which are funded through the government so are completely free. Gamblers helpline will be able to get you (or your husband if he chooses) in touch with a free counsellor.

    There is hope, Gambling addiction is very treatable
    0 x
    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1716
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: *sigh*

    Wed Jan 27, 2016 7:18 pm

    HI I really feel your pain but until your husband recognises he has a real problem there is not much you can do.I would pay off the credit card and then close the account and get a card in your name only..iy is one way of stopping access. I wish you all the best with your new baby and hope everything turns out well for yoy
    0 x
    Lilly
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Wed May 04, 2016 4:08 pm

    Re: *sigh*

    Wed May 04, 2016 4:10 pm

    I am in a similar position however only 13 weeks pregnant. I have recently discovered a $20,000 credit debt I knew absolutely nothing about and it has broken me. I knew nothing of it before today. I don't have advice but I just wanted you to know you are not alone. All the best to you
    0 x
    emma
    Junior Member
    Posts: 7
    Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2016 12:56 am

    Re: *sigh*

    Tue May 10, 2016 12:49 am

    I can totally relate, hubby came clean 2 weeks before our second born... after months of me being suspicious, asking questions etc. Not a relaxed time u need when you are about to have a baby... so sorry to hear it. I confided in people- he doesnt know but ive told a close friend and my mum- i feel so much better that im not making excuses that cover his tracks why we're struggling finacially to them. Also- i made a face to face appontment with a councelor and told him he could come if he wants to but im going regardless. He still denies he has a problem but at least he knows how much its affecting me. It really helps to chat to professionals i think. It just really sucks as we have beautiful little timu babies to look after and feel a wee emotionally fragile becaude of that but also have this stupid addiction to deal with. Take care.xxx
    0 x

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