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  • just found out my husband has a gambling problem

    Is someone you care about experiencing issues with gambling? Come in here to discuss your concerns, connect, and get some helpful tips.
    Bellabub
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2012 2:54 pm

    just found out my husband has a gambling problem

    Wed Nov 07, 2012 2:55 pm

    Just looking for some advice on how to help my husband. He's been gambling online for last few years and I have just found out that he has gambled all of his pay. To make things worse I am 6 months pregnant and now worried sick about how we are going to cope. He broke down last night and admitted its a problem and he doesn't want to do it anymore. He says he doesn't know why he does it and feels like **** for what it is doing to us. We have closed down all the online accounts last night but I am so scared that he's not going to stop. What can I do?
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    Angie
    Junior Member
    Posts: 12
    Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2012 2:47 pm

    RE: just found out my husband has a gambling problem

    Wed Nov 07, 2012 5:02 pm

    I reckon put a block on the computer and on his phone...if you search the web you can find different gambling blockers...anyone know of any good ones?
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    dittogirl
    Junior Member
    Posts: 4
    Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2012 12:43 pm

    RE: just found out my husband has a gambling problem

    Wed Nov 07, 2012 5:05 pm

    i totally understand how scared you must feel (not to mention how shocked) - but it's great that he actually told you. at least now it's in the open and you can keep an eye on it!! when you talked with him did you come up with any other strategies to deal with the problem, apart from shutting down the on-line accounts? maybe if you told us a bit more about how he gambles - is it only on-line? you could look at ways to tackle it from the other side, eg you being in charge of the money, his pay going directly into your account, organising accounts so that he doesn't have access ... but i guess the first step is talking more together. let us know how you go!
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    Tractorman
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2012 10:58 am

    RE: just found out my husband has a gambling problem

    Thu Nov 08, 2012 11:08 am

    An old friend of mine is going full tilt - buying lottery tickets. He says he's been spending about $1000 per week for the last couple of months - he thinks he's narrowing the odds so much that hes going to hit it big. A few weeks ago he did win about $1500, which makes him believe he's on the right track. So my guess is he's still at the least $6,500 out of pocket.

    I've tried to talk to him about the odds being with the house etc but he thinks he's got it sorted. Go any suggestions about things I could say to him that might might get hime to realise he's much more likely to lose than win.
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    JJ2
    Junior Member
    Posts: 9
    Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2012 11:44 am

    RE: just found out my husband has a gambling problem

    Thu Nov 08, 2012 3:51 pm

    Hey tractorman if you don't mind I will move this out of this thread and into a new one of it's own under "what can I do".

    Cheers

    JJ
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    Angie
    Junior Member
    Posts: 12
    Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2012 2:47 pm

    RE: just found out my husband has a gambling problem

    Sat Nov 10, 2012 12:22 am

    I think see if he will go to counselling...he has to do something if you are pregnant cos whos gonna support the baby...I remember when my partner was gambling really bad he didnt end up going to counselling but the funny thing was that when he was ready to go to counselling he actually gave up...wierd ey
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    Zack
    Junior Member
    Posts: 4
    Joined: Sat Nov 10, 2012 10:38 am

    RE: just found out my husband has a gambling problem

    Sat Nov 10, 2012 11:31 am

    Hi, look I'm going through the same thing now and have been for years however in this case I'm the gambler. I have told many lies and told my partner anything she wanted to hear just so i can get of the hook that given time, once she forgave me the first time i knew that i can get away with it. All I'm saying is that if you going to stay with him you need to make sure that he knows your in charge and you wont stick around if he does it again because if you let him of just the way you did now by simply cancelling his online staff he will find another way of gambling trust me i know. Also for those that might call me a hypocrite for saying this please don't because I'm paying for all my mistakes now as I'm hair away from losing my family but i have taken the next step my self TODAY and called the help line and booked my self in to see a counsellor. Look people at the end of the day a gambler will stay as one unless they want to stop or change they ways because at the end of the day no one can be there with that person 24/7 to make the correct decision for you, you need to choose the correct one your self.
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    Christine
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2012 12:13 am

    RE: just found out my husband has a gambling problem

    Wed Nov 14, 2012 12:22 am

    Hi Zak,
    I have a problem with my son. Same old stories. I need to get him to see a councellor Sick of searching, we live in Brisbane South can you give me some ideas. I'm at the end of the rope at present. Thanks in anticipation.
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    JJ2
    Junior Member
    Posts: 9
    Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2012 11:44 am

    RE: just found out my husband has a gambling problem

    Thu Nov 15, 2012 2:27 pm

    Hi Christine, welcome to the forum. Sounds like you are feeling pretty frustrated and fed up... Have you called Gamblers Helpline to have a chat with one of the counsellors? Might be a good way to vent some of your frustrations and talk over some options for coping with your son's gambling issues. You can call the number above, 1800 858 858. If you don't feel ready to do that please post here again or you can access live counselling from this website. Hope to hear from you again.

    JJ
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    Aaren
    Member
    Posts: 37
    Joined: Fri Apr 05, 2013 3:24 pm

    RE: just found out my husband has a gambling problem

    Tue Apr 16, 2013 11:37 am

    Hi Bella,

    Why do you think he gambles? Have you talked with him about it?

    You have lots of options to help:
    - Take control of his salary or put a set amount into a savings account for the family (i do this with my gf so i dont have cash lying around!)
    - Get him to visit GA meetings or come on these forums - discussing it with like minded people can really help
    - Counseling - Sometimes trying to find the core of the problem helps the most. In my case i didnt love myself enough (due to bullying as a child) and had insecurities about money from my family - talking to a counselor has helped me overcome those issues.

    Hope this helps

    AD
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