Welcome to our online peer support community - A supportive place for anyone making change in their gambling, as well as concerned friends and family.
  • Connect, be inspired, motivate others. Share your experience & strategies.
  • Safe. Anonymous. Professionally monitored. Free of judgement.

    To join the discussion, sign up today.
    Join us Tuesdays at 8pm - 10pm AEST for Chatty Tuesday.
  • my husband

    Is someone you care about experiencing issues with gambling? Come in here to discuss your concerns, connect, and get some helpful tips.
    nor
    Junior Member
    Posts: 2
    Joined: Sat May 17, 2014 9:41 pm

    my husband

    Sat May 17, 2014 10:01 pm

    Hello all



    I'm knew to this and I have just found out my husband has been gambling for the past 10 years. I always assumed that he was bad with money, as we both worked full time we never had money worries until recently, I am currently on maternity leave with a 3 month old beautiful girl and my wages are about to stop. My husbands company that he worked for went into liquidation at x mas and he has been finding it really hard to get regular work. Everything came to a halt this week when he started having panic attacks and has gone on medication for depression. He has told me that he borrowed money 2 years ago and couldn't pay it off so borrowed from another banks to make payments on that loan. I am so angry with him for putting us in this situation as now we have a massive loan to pay, he is currently unemployed and no money coming in!! On the positive side he as being to the doctor and starts counselling on Wed. How am I ever going to trust him, I have taking credit cards off him and im going to the back on Monday to put a block on our mortgage in case he takes money from that.



    My question is how do I know he is on the road to recovery??

    Shattered
    0 x
    User avatar
    Noah (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 308
    Joined: Mon Nov 05, 2012 3:53 pm

    RE: my husband

    Tue May 20, 2014 6:25 pm

    Hi nor,

    Welcome to the forum! I'm Noah, a facilitator here.

    It sounds like such a new and exciting time with the baby but also completely emotionally and financially overwhelming too with everything else going on.

    Building back trust in a relationship can take time and sometimes slip ups or relapses can be apart of ultimate recovery from a gambling problem so it sounds like you've taken a few 'just in case' measures. If you're contacting from within Australia there is free face to face counselling and financial counselling available to help you navigate this territory. Some couples find that even once the crises is over, there is tension in the relationship as a result of loss of trust... in this case sometimes going to couples therapy can be useful.

    If you're contacting from within Australia, you can call 1800 858 858 to find out the closest counsellor to you. They are free and confidential. Let me know if you've got any questions

    Keep in touch!

    Noah
    0 x
    nor
    Junior Member
    Posts: 2
    Joined: Sat May 17, 2014 9:41 pm

    RE: my husband

    Tue May 20, 2014 11:25 pm

    thanks Noah,



    we have both put measures in place and I'm hoping that with counselling that we can get through this, would you have any financial tips on how I can help him?? I have been researching and it has been advised that he needs to pay this loan himself, he has currently accepted a job offer to go up north for a month to pay this off, he used to buy lotteries to try and make money to make repayments, and this is how he has gotten himself in this mess. I know that he will miss our daughter and I am hoping this will teach him a lesson or am I getting my hopes up for nothing?? Any advise on ways to help him would be gratefull



    Thank you
    0 x
    User avatar
    Noah (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 308
    Joined: Mon Nov 05, 2012 3:53 pm

    RE: my husband

    Wed May 21, 2014 3:45 pm

    Hi Nor,I can really hear how uncertain things feel and I can imagine how very distressing and uncomfortable it would be to have to sit in that place! In terms of advice, it might be best to have a conversation with an online or phone counsellor while waiting for your counselling appointment (It looks like you've already set one up)? If you would prefer to talk to someone online, you could register for email counselling or instant chat by following this link https://www.gamblinghelponline.org.au/login/
    Hope that at least points you in the right direction?
    Maybe other forum members have advice too?
    Take care,
    Noah
    0 x
    Sue5
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Sun Aug 17, 2014 1:33 pm

    RE: my husband

    Sun Aug 17, 2014 1:39 pm

    Hi There,

    My name is Sue, and well there is a reason why Im here, because of my husband. He gambles, and loves his horses. He is currently unemployed and he thinks to help us out its the right way to do. I spoke this morning to a counsellor about it and will start taking actions. But my question is how do all cope with it? I feel so stressed out about and I just can't believe that as soon there is money coming in it goes to TAB.
    0 x
    User avatar
    Noah (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 308
    Joined: Mon Nov 05, 2012 3:53 pm

    RE: my husband

    Mon Aug 18, 2014 3:38 pm

    Hi Sue5,Welcome to the community! It sounds like you are feeling understandably emotionally overwhelmed. Could I ask, are there other people besides the counsellor around that know about your husband's gambling?
    You may have already had a look but I have attached some basic tips from the website that suggest ways around how you can deal with the stress of it all. https://www.gamblinghelponline.org.au/c ... -yourself/
    Thanks for making contact and for sharing what's happening for you right now.
    Keep in touch!
    Take care,
    Noah
    0 x
    James
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Tue Nov 25, 2014 1:30 pm

    Re: my husband

    Wed Nov 26, 2014 2:39 pm

    My name is James. I have just found out that, `url=http://www.tigermoth.nu]my[/url] wife has been gambling for half a year. We have just married, and I feel so depressed and disappointed. What could I do now ?
    0 x
    User avatar
    Noah (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 308
    Joined: Mon Nov 05, 2012 3:53 pm

    Re: my husband

    Wed Nov 26, 2014 5:50 pm

    Hi James,
    Welcome to our community, I hope you'll find it a supportive place! It can be a huge shock when we find out that someone we love has a gambling problem and an equal shock that they kept it a secret. It's okay if it takes you some time to come to terms with this and it's also okay to have your own emotional reaction.

    If you want to talk this through with a professional, please call Gamblers Helpline on 1800 858 858 to speak with a counsellor. The line is open 24 hours a day 7 days a week and is totally anonymous and confidential.

    Wondering if other members have words of support or advice for James?

    Keep in touch!

    Noah
    0 x

    Return to “For Family and Friends”