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  • Helping 21 year old son with gambling addiction

    Is someone you care about experiencing issues with gambling? Come in here to discuss your concerns, connect, and get some helpful tips.
    Cat13
    Junior Member
    Posts: 6
    Joined: Sat May 28, 2022 12:34 pm

    Helping 21 year old son with gambling addiction

    Mon May 30, 2022 11:19 am

    Hi just wondering if any one with an addiction can give me some advise on how I should handle my sons addiction . He has admitted to me that he has a problem but doesn’t want anyone else to know which is fine and I give him only small amounts of money for food as he gambled his whole pay in a few days . He doesn’t live In the same town as me otherwise I wouldn’t pay for anything ? Just not sure how to deal with it all , soft approach or hard , not sure if I should bring it up every time I talk or when he wants to ?? Should I try convince him to let me handle money or leave him to try sort ? Hav tried to get him to ring a councillor on here but he said they didn’t call back , should I get a councillor to call him or back off and let him go at his pace? Sorry for the questions but really unsure what to do or how to handle . Thanks
    1 x
    Calvin (facilitator)
    Moderator
    Posts: 670
    Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2018 5:01 pm

    Re: Helping 21 year old son with gambling addiction

    Mon May 30, 2022 2:08 pm

    Hi @Cat13

    Welcome to the forums! Good on you for reaching out.
    My names Calvin and I'm one of the forum moderators!

    It can be incredibly stressful as a parent trying to support a loved one through their gambling.
    The forums will give you a chance to receive insight, advice and support from other members.
    What i would suggest is to put boundaries in place for how much money you provide to him, but also if he is requesting to speak with a counsellor he can contact the 24/7 gamblers helpline on 1800 858 858. A counsellor is always available to chat with. The helpline is also open to yourself for support as well as referral.
    1 x
    Cat13
    Junior Member
    Posts: 6
    Joined: Sat May 28, 2022 12:34 pm

    Re: Helping 21 year old son with gambling addiction

    Mon May 30, 2022 3:53 pm

    Thanks Calvin, I have already spoke to a councillor which was a great help and told my son to also call . He has said he will in a couple of days so hopefully he does. Should I also ask him in a few days if he called or just leave that with him? Not sure if I should just leave it be or try push him to talk to someone that knows how to deal with all this ?
    0 x
    Calvin (facilitator)
    Moderator
    Posts: 670
    Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2018 5:01 pm

    Re: Helping 21 year old son with gambling addiction

    Mon May 30, 2022 4:30 pm

    Hi @Cat13

    Checking in on him is totally okay and encouraging that help seeking behaviour. Also having a conversation around what his current plan might look like.
    How are you coping ? Its important also to monitor your own mental wellbeing and engaging in some of your own self-care as well.
    0 x
    Cat13
    Junior Member
    Posts: 6
    Joined: Sat May 28, 2022 12:34 pm

    Re: Helping 21 year old son with gambling addiction

    Mon May 30, 2022 5:43 pm

    I’m ok and know I will talk to someone as this goes on as I know I will need help in knowing how to deal with each stage . Thankyou for the advice and I will bring up with him if he has a plan . Thanks
    2 x
    Cat13
    Junior Member
    Posts: 6
    Joined: Sat May 28, 2022 12:34 pm

    Re: Helping 21 year old son with gambling addiction

    Mon Jun 27, 2022 5:27 pm

    Sons has had another relapse and spent all his wage . Trying to get him to call a councillor but he doesn’t seem keen . Not sure how to go forward with how to help him?
    0 x
    Pikachu
    Moderator
    Posts: 85
    Joined: Wed Jun 08, 2022 3:48 pm

    Re: Helping 21 year old son with gambling addiction

    Tue Jun 28, 2022 12:00 pm

    Hi @Cat13 ,
    So sorry to hear your son had a relapse. Some people do find it hard to take the first step in seeking help. So it's ok if he is not willing to talk to a counsellor yet. You have done well in reaching out and sharing the story,as well as being open to your son and willing to help him. It is good that he has someone to talk to.
    As Calvin mentioned, were you able to have a conversation with your son about his plan? If he is not ready to make the change yet, it's ok. It takes time for people to be ready. But in the mean while, you need to look after yourself as well. Are you interested in taking any support yourself? There are some peer-support services available for families. In there you will be speaking to others who are also a family or friend with someone who has addiction concerns. Let us know if you are interested in those, we are happy to give you more information around that.

    Keep us update, and look after yourself! :);
    0 x
    Cat13
    Junior Member
    Posts: 6
    Joined: Sat May 28, 2022 12:34 pm

    Re: Helping 21 year old son with gambling addiction

    Thu Jun 30, 2022 9:03 am

    I have spoken to my son but he is not saying too much . I’m lucky to get anything out of him , he is just upset and really down on himself . I mentioned ringing a councillor again but he just doesn’t want to . I understand now that sounds like another stage he hasn’t come to yet by what you are saying. He said last night that he just can’t do it and has been trying for ages to stop gambling and it’s not working ? Are these all normal responses and he just hasn’t reached the next stage of kicking his habit? I have rang again to speak to someone but I would like the details of the peer group please . I still feel really lost on what I should be doing. He is still working , think that has been great for him to keep him busy but he is also living in his car and won’t let me get him accommodation, has finally let me give him money for food but should I be doing more or let him go with not having accommodation? Don’t want to make him feel like he can’t do anything himself but I really want to travel to see him but he is saying no when I ask if he wants me to come there though he has been upset every time .He lives about 1000km away from me . Thankyou for your replies too , is good to get some advice
    0 x
    Pikachu
    Moderator
    Posts: 85
    Joined: Wed Jun 08, 2022 3:48 pm

    Re: Helping 21 year old son with gambling addiction

    Thu Jun 30, 2022 10:21 am

    Hi @Cat13 ,
    Being so far away from your son and knowing he is struggling with something must be so hard for you. But you’ve done well in staying calm, seeking help and talking to us.

    The peer support group I mentioned before is called SMART Recovery. This is the link to their website: https://smartrecoveryaustralia.com.au/
    They offer both online and in-person weekly meetings. The meetings are led by trained professionals. It might be a good idea for your son to attend a few even if he doesn’t want to say anything, just sit in the meeting might help him get some motivation to change. They have meetings for family and friends as well, so it might be helpful for you to hear how others in the similar situation as you have managed this. You will also be able to get some support from them as well.
    Also, you cam give the National Gambling Helpline a call, their number is 1800 858 858. They will be able to provide you with more options for both you and your son depends on your location.
    0 x
    Cat13
    Junior Member
    Posts: 6
    Joined: Sat May 28, 2022 12:34 pm

    Re: Helping 21 year old son with gambling addiction

    Thu Jun 30, 2022 11:37 am

    Thankyou for the reply . I have already been talking to the gambling hot line but my son won’t call them . I will definitely contact the meeting group but my son is in a small country town so he is not able to get to something like that . Just heard his work is aware of his issue , though not the gambling problem, and are organising a house and councillor so hopefully he gets something out of that . Thankyou again for your reply, is so good to have feedback on what to do
    0 x

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