HELP!! Fiance has just admitted his gambling problem
I am new to all this. My fiance has recently admitted he has a gambling problem and wants to get help. Firstly I am thankful he has recognised the problem and proud of him to be able to tell me. But what the hell do I do now?? I don't think I can cope!!
We have had a very difficult year. He tried to commit suicide earlier this year and I found him when I got back from work. He was rushed to hospital and stayed the night then was transferred to a mental health hospital for a week. They allowed him to be discharged with a intensive home treatment team but I really didn't feel ready to have him home at that point.
He has a number of other issues. His mother committed suicide when he was just 4. His mother and father had split up and she was seeing another man, this was a domestic violence case to which my fiance heard alot of. However they then split and he had a restraining order I am led to believe but was there the night she comitted suicide. His father is an unconfessed alcoholic, whom he has little contact with - this, I think, he finds difficult as his father visits his sister regularly. His grandparents brought him and his sisters up but they have recently died within 2 years of each other expectantly. Again this is something he struggled to come to terms with and still hasn't.
He has a CPN and sees a psychologist for CBT each week but this will soon end and now he has come forward about his gambling.
He attended his first GA meeting earlier this week which is good but I can't cope. I feel he has soo much going on, if it was just the gambling maybe I could manage but I don't know if I can stay with him. We are due to be married in 5 months!!! I can't spend the rest of my life like this.
I have looked for support meetings for myself but there do not seem to be any locally
I just feel so many emotions. Anger at the amount of money he has lost when we struggle as it is, upset and betrayed due to all the lying he has done and the amounts of money lost. Frustrated that he doesn't open up when clearly something is wrong!! He tells me this is the way he was brought up and doesn't think he can change that. For me, I feel if he can't talk to me then there is no point of our relationship. He simply tells people what he thinks they want to hear.
Earlier in the year we managed to pay off the majority of his debts and we moved in with my parents due to support and financial reasons. His family are not particularly helpful.
I just don't know where to turn and feel so isolated. I don't know what to do for the best. My parents have been brilliant but I feel guilty putting them through all of this too. They have also said he is on his last chance now too
Help and any advice would be hugely appreciated