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Am I stupid to get a mortgage with a recovering addict?

Posted: Sun Jun 27, 2021 8:02 pm
by Yelyah
Hi all,

My boyfriend was a compulsive gambler of 15 + years. He came clean to me about 1 year ago. Since then he has self excluded from most venues in our area and claims to have not gambled for 6 months.

I want to buy a house. And he says that he wants to aswell.

Am I silly to go into a mortgage with him? He runs a great landscaping business with 5 guys now working for him. However, he has never saved. Never shown me that he has what it takes to commit to a serious financial agreement. He says that he wants it and that will do it but is he just saying this because it is what I want to hear?

I can borrow enough to get something that I would be able to afford if he couldn’t pay. However with his help, we could get a house in our area with great investment potential and that I would actually want to live in if **** hit the fan.

Would really appreciate your advice.

Many thanks,

Hayley

Re: Am I stupid to get a mortgage with a recovering addict?

Posted: Sun Jun 27, 2021 10:22 pm
by Anita44
Hi Yelyah
From my experience when I meet my partner he earn 3 time more than me, he was telling me how much he have save up and I telling him now much I have too.
When you both want to buy a house together first think you will need to see mortgage adviser he can not hide anything from you than, cos they need to work it out for deposit and how much you both earn per year to able to borrow . Cos the bank make sure you both have enough money for repayments to mortgage.
If he able to put some money in join account for bill, mortgage, rate etc than you be fine.
Depend on a person, I am addicted to pokies but I love my partner and I would do anything to stop this addition.
It's would be a bit hard if he can't save, but people can change only if they want to change.
Depend how serious your relationship with him all come to trust and take risk.

Re: Am I stupid to get a mortgage with a recovering addict?

Posted: Sun Jun 27, 2021 11:20 pm
by Jimap
Hi @Yelyah i bought a house with my ex partner 14 years ago knowing he had money issues but not realising the extent of the problem. We are now separated and selling our house. My advice would be to be very careful..get some good financial advice about what happens if he gambles again in the future and his financial choices then affect his credit rating which in turn could affect yours if u have property together. I always made sure our mortgage was paid but his gambling meant we couldn’t refinance, we couldn’t change banks, we couldn’t save money for renovations etc. A house is a huge commitment together. You want to buy a house and come home and be happy… if he starts gambling again could you stay happy living in a house with him that you both own??? Maybe if he can show savings for 6 months without gambling would this make you feel better??? He will always have this addiction. There will always be a risk of relapse. I had to accept that I had to be the person always responsible for money, it was draining, especially when we then had 2 children together. If he is serious about recovering he will do whatever is needed even if that means saving and giving you access to look at his bank accounts etc. You need to see action rather than just words otherwise that great house with investment potential may become the biggest financial mistake of your life.. take care and best of luck with whatever you decide..