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  • My realisation that my marriage can’t be saved because of gambling

    Is someone you care about experiencing issues with gambling? Come in here to discuss your concerns, connect, and get some helpful tips.
    Jessie 1
    Junior Member
    Posts: 5
    Joined: Tue Sep 09, 2014 7:01 pm

    Re: My realisation that my marriage can’t be saved because of gambling

    Thu Jul 08, 2021 9:07 am

    Jimap wrote:
    Wed Jul 07, 2021 8:48 pm
    Hi @Jessie 1 how are things going for you and your family? I hope things have settled down for you and your partner 🙏
    How sweet of you to even think about me!!

    Things are going surprisingly really well. I think lockdown helps as even if he wanted to go to pokies he can't but maybe stupidly I actually believe he wouldn't go even if they were open. He is a new man, so focused on me and the kids and so motivated at work. We have been having a lot more deep and meaningful conversations and he is reflecting on his on his life and how he got to where he is.

    He has said that growing up he was forced to lie and hide and things to get by and this is trait he has continued but is working hard to break those habits.

    I feel we are closer then ever and with the right support and strategies in place he can get through this and be the husband/father/man he has always wanted to be.

    I hope I don't get stung again but I feel like this is a fresh start!

    Do I sound stupid?? Lol
    1 x
    Jimap
    Member
    Posts: 56
    Joined: Thu Apr 01, 2021 2:17 pm

    Re: My realisation that my marriage can’t be saved because of gambling

    Thu Jul 08, 2021 1:36 pm

    @Jessie 1 Awesome to hear it’s going well🙌 You aren’t stupid for thinking it is going to well. The fact that he is remaining committed to treatment is a very positive step. I suppose with all addictions relapse is common but it can be a good thing in being able to reflect what went wrong and what triggered a relapse. Trust also takes time to build again. Your husband has to earn this trust back with actions. I have found a lot of benefit in reading through peoples post. It helps me see that I tried my hardest to keep my family together but unfortunately my ex didn’t want to recover from his addiction at this stage in his life. I am feeling better after putting in no contact boundaries with him unless related to kids and property settlement and I know this will help in the long run with my healing. I will always have some hope that he will recover as he is a beautiful person and father.
    Just keep focusing on yourself it really does help. If he chooses to gamble after lockdown then this is entirely his choice and not a reflection of anything you have done or said😊
    1 x
    Anita44
    Senior Member
    Posts: 376
    Joined: Sat May 08, 2021 9:30 pm

    Re: My realisation that my marriage can’t be saved because of gambling

    Thu Jul 08, 2021 6:57 pm

    Hi Jessie 1
    Congratulations on your husband able to give up gamble and its wonderful that you give him another chance to make it right.
    I only stop gamble last 60 days, it's was a amazing feeling that I have change and I have a wonderful partner that supported me all the way and the support from this forum are beyond amazing, I never ever think I can quit pokies.
    But I get to the stay that enough it's enough. Than I decide I needed help urgent before I lost everything that I have in life.
    I wanted to change for my family and I am feeling proud that I am able to stop gamble, occasionally I will treat myself something nice, cos I'm not gamble anymore.
    1 x
    Jimap
    Member
    Posts: 56
    Joined: Thu Apr 01, 2021 2:17 pm

    Re: My realisation that my marriage can’t be saved because of gambling

    Sat Sep 25, 2021 8:44 pm

    Hi @Jessie 1 and @Ana_80…hope you are both
    well and things are going well with your husbands and their gambling. My house has sold and i am now looking for my own home to buy or a rental considering how difficult this property market is at the moment with Covid. Packing up my house has been emotionally very difficult but unavoidable. Just wanting to reach out and make sure you are both okay. I know how isolating this addiction can be for partners….
    1 x

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