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Spends all their pay immediately. Plays pokies to beat boredom

Posted: Mon Mar 01, 2021 2:12 pm
by nomorespins
Someone I care about spends their welfare money as soon as they get it because they say they are bored all the time. This person mostly stays home and is in her 50s. How can I help her. She suffers from various medical conditions meaning she needs to sit down sometimes which I think is part of the reason she plays as pokies are a sit down activity . I have had her contact me for money to bet and regretfully I admit I have sometimes given it to her because she does not get out much apart from running errands and I feel bad that she doesn't have any activities due to her conditions. How can I help her without her getting angry at me or thinking I am trying to impose.

Re: Spends all their pay immediately. Plays pokies to beat boredom

Posted: Tue Mar 02, 2021 11:51 am
by Calvin (facilitator)
Hi @nomorespins
Welcome to the forums!

Its always difficult when we see someone we care about struggle with a gambling problem.
Alot of people gamble for different reasons, boredom is certainly one of the common ones.
Maybe as a first step try to refrain from providing money, sometimes they can become reliant on this overtime.
Suggest to call our helpline to speak with a gambling counsellor if she's ready to do so.

Anyone have any personal insight for nomorespins?

Re: Spends all their pay immediately. Plays pokies to beat boredom

Posted: Thu Mar 04, 2021 5:50 pm
by JB-nsw
Hi @nomorespins it's good you want to help your friend. It's tough, but one thing in your control is your money.

I haven't been in that situation but I would perhaps consider saying if they are asking for cash. "Cant really spare any cash right now sorry, but i am heading to the shop soon - I can grab you a few things to get you through if you if you need."

This to me is allows you to still tell them you have their back and you can help if they are desperate. If they outright ask for money to go gamble I think you can easily say sorry I can't this time.

It is way less abrasive than saying something like "ok you can have money but don't gamble with it" 《 steer clear of doing that.

Re: Spends all their pay immediately. Plays pokies to beat boredom

Posted: Fri Mar 05, 2021 3:43 pm
by Damaged_Armour
nomorespins wrote:
Mon Mar 01, 2021 2:12 pm
Someone I care about spends their welfare money as soon as they get it because they say they are bored all the time. This person mostly stays home and is in her 50s. How can I help her. She suffers from various medical conditions meaning she needs to sit down sometimes which I think is part of the reason she plays as pokies are a sit down activity . I have had her contact me for money to bet and regretfully I admit I have sometimes given it to her because she does not get out much apart from running errands and I feel bad that she doesn't have any activities due to her conditions. How can I help her without her getting angry at me or thinking I am trying to impose.
You can't tippy toe around the problem if you want to solve it. Sounds like you're afraid to see a reaction.