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  • PLEASE HELP! My fiance is gambling again..

    Is someone you care about experiencing issues with gambling? Come in here to discuss your concerns, connect, and get some helpful tips.
    Louisealan
    Junior Member
    Posts: 2
    Joined: Mon Feb 01, 2021 2:07 pm

    PLEASE HELP! My fiance is gambling again..

    Mon Feb 01, 2021 3:46 pm

    Hi,
    I am engaged to marry later this year and have just found out my fiance is gambling again (it's very bad this time).
    He started gambling at the beginning of our relationship (we've been together over 9 years) and he got help to stop - and i thought it was all in the past. Although i've always been suspicious and had a gut feeling it was happening again, moreso the last year or so.

    He came to me the other night and told me how bad his gambling is again, and that it's been going on for years, and he is planning to get all the help he needs - speaking to a counsellor, letting me have access to his bank accounts and payslips to monitor all his finances.
    I am so worried to follow through with our marriage plans as i have lost so much trust, and not sure if i can recover.

    I am worried to lose what we have (and starting over as we've been together so long), but even more scared of him potentially gambling again after we are married and possibly have kids together in the future.

    Just wondering if there was any hope for recovery!
    Not sure if i should forgive him again and try to work through it, or leave now before we marry and it potentially ruins my life (emotionally and financially).

    Thanks
    1 x
    sherpa09 (facilitator)
    Moderator
    Posts: 92
    Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2018 5:00 pm

    Re: PLEASE HELP! My fiance is gambling again..

    Mon Feb 01, 2021 4:45 pm

    Hi Louise,

    Its Sherpa09 here (one of the moderators on the forum). Well done on reaching out, it sounds as though things have been tough for you in trying to navigate your fiance's gambling issue.

    Its possible partner's can improve trust and overall quality of their relationships with the right supports in place. This takes time and commitment to support each other whilst seeking support to address the gambling issue. This includes speaking to a gamblers help counselor, where you can find further information by contacting gamblers help on (1800 858 858).

    You've done the right thing though in getting support through the forum and would love to hear others experiences similar to Louise > of how they were able to navigate their issue as a loved one.

    Keep staying strong Louise and look forward to your future posts :)

    Sherpa09.
    1 x
    Damaged_Armour
    Member
    Posts: 82
    Joined: Tue Dec 29, 2020 3:17 pm

    Re: PLEASE HELP! My fiance is gambling again..

    Mon Feb 01, 2021 10:28 pm

    Louisealan wrote:
    Mon Feb 01, 2021 3:46 pm
    Hi,
    I am engaged to marry later this year and have just found out my fiance is gambling again (it's very bad this time).
    He started gambling at the beginning of our relationship (we've been together over 9 years) and he got help to stop - and i thought it was all in the past. Although i've always been suspicious and had a gut feeling it was happening again, moreso the last year or so.

    He came to me the other night and told me how bad his gambling is again, and that it's been going on for years, and he is planning to get all the help he needs - speaking to a counsellor, letting me have access to his bank accounts and payslips to monitor all his finances.
    I am so worried to follow through with our marriage plans as i have lost so much trust, and not sure if i can recover.

    I am worried to lose what we have (and starting over as we've been together so long), but even more scared of him potentially gambling again after we are married and possibly have kids together in the future.

    Just wondering if there was any hope for recovery!
    Not sure if i should forgive him again and try to work through it, or leave now before we marry and it potentially ruins my life (emotionally and financially).

    Thanks
    @Louisealan
    Take heart in knowing he has handed his finances to you. That's him rolling over. I think once you're a gambler, you're a gambler, just so you know, it's about managing the habit.
    I think you'd be making a mistake leaving him. Read through the forum for tips and tricks.
    1 x
    There's No such thing as "Just Once"

    You want to stop gambling? Ok great, put your boxing gloves on.

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