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  • Gambling husband

    Is someone you care about experiencing issues with gambling? Come in here to discuss your concerns, connect, and get some helpful tips.
    Emma79
    Junior Member
    Posts: 2
    Joined: Mon Sep 14, 2020 10:51 am

    Gambling husband

    Mon Sep 14, 2020 11:04 am

    I’m confused and don’t really know what to do.
    I have been married for 20yrs, over those 20yrs my husband has struggled on and off with gambling. Some times have been much worse than others. Going out to the casino and coming home the next morning, losing thousands of dollars in a night etc. There have been periods where he has gone months without gambling. He doesn’t really think he has a problem. He thinks we can afford it, so what’s the big deal.
    Lately he started playing cards at the local clubs. He thought that was a great solution as it didn’t cost anything (only $10 or so to join) and he still got his rush (as he described it). He started out going once a week, then it progressed to 2-3 times, then 5 times. I spoke to him about it and he agreed to cut down to 3 times a week. Cards was recently cancelled due to covid. In the 2 months since then he has wasted 9k at the casino. The last time was a couple of nights ago where he blew 4K in one night. We have not spoken about the incident and are both avoiding each other.
    My husband refuses to believe he has a problem as he says he can go months without gambling. Over the years he has made me doubt myself and I really don’t know where to turn. We have a big family. I have spoken to him about the fact that he can just walk out for the whole night with no consideration for me or the kids. It seems to fall on deaf ears.
    I’m depressed, it really gets me down and I really don’t know where to turn. Have I worked up this imaginary problem in my head and made it larger than it really is?? I feel like it has chipped away at our marriage. All I remember are the bad times. I feel like I am constantly annoyed at him, maybe I am pushing him away??
    Any help or words of advice would be appreciated!
    1 x
    User avatar
    JinxyWolf
    Senior Member
    Posts: 357
    Joined: Wed Feb 15, 2017 8:51 pm

    Re: Gambling husband

    Mon Sep 14, 2020 6:32 pm

    HI Emma and Welcome,

    As a recovering gambler myself I know how hard this addiction can be. Unfortunately it has to be your husbands choice to quit, but that doesn't mean there is nothing you can do. You have to look after yourself. Obviously I can tell from your post that his gambling is affecting you, so it is a problem, even if your husband doesn't think so.

    Don't doubt yourself, you know what your truth is, don't let him justify his way out of the issues you are facing and what you are feeling. He also knows the truth, he knows that his gambling is an issue, he is just not ready to face it. Being a gambling addict is a hard truth to face, there is a lot of shame and guilt that comes with the realization that you have wasted so much time and money on something that is really the equivalent to setting money on fire and watching it burn.

    I think you should contact one of the councellors here, they can help you with ways to approach the subject with your husband and ways to protect and look after yourself as well. They are wonderful people and are here to help so reach out.

    I wish you all the best and know that we are here for you.

    JinxyWolf
    1 x
    Emma79
    Junior Member
    Posts: 2
    Joined: Mon Sep 14, 2020 10:51 am

    Re: Gambling husband

    Mon Sep 14, 2020 9:09 pm

    Thanks for the reply! I appreciate the support.
    I will have a chat to one of the councillors and get some advice. It’s a long road, quite daunting and I need a bit of help navigating.
    1 x
    Calvin (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 561
    Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2018 5:01 pm

    Re: Gambling husband

    Wed Sep 16, 2020 10:58 am

    Hi @Emma79
    Welcome to the forums!
    Its always difficult when a partner has a gambling issue, it really does impact those around them. It can stressful for all involved.
    What you're feeling is understandable, some members on the forums have had similar experiences to yourself.

    Thankyou @JinxyWolf for your insight!

    Anyone else have any words of support for Emma79 during this time?
    0 x

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