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Husband quit gambling for 5yrs, admitted to restarting recently

Posted: Mon Aug 03, 2020 9:06 pm
by Chive
Hi I'm new here, my husband had a gabl8ng addiction spanning about a decade. A year or two before we started seeing each other he had done alot of growing and soul searching and had ceased gambling of his own recognition and accord after he finally came to the realisation it was a problem. His addiction was mainly the dogs and sometimes horses. We've been together almost 6 yrs and recently I noticed he's been spending long periods on his phone, sitting on his laptop away from the family, drinking a bit more too and he has just recently opened up to tell me he has activated his online account and gambling on the dogs again. I'm not sure what to do, questions I should ask, red flags etc cause he tells me at this point its not a problem for him and that he would definitely let me know if it was. How do I know it's a problem? To add to this on the weekend he had an unplanned night out with the boys, got extremely drunk and told me he had lost $10, 000 at the casino. He said he was sorry and it was his way of "acting out" and that he can't touch alcohol. Not sure what to do?

Re: Husband quit gambling for 5yrs, admitted to restarting recently

Posted: Tue Aug 04, 2020 10:31 am
by PurpleP
Hi @Chive and welcome to the forums

I'm sorry to hear you are going through this as I know it can be stressful, confusing and hard to decide what to do.

I think keeping communication lines open is really important which it sounds like you have already started doing. Whether he thinks its a problem or not, you are partners and part of that is having conversations about your needs and expectations. So maybe having another conversation or two about your thoughts on how much money you can afford/is reasonable being spent on gambling, your concerns on him withdrawing, how to keep you in the loop etc.

Many other forum members have been in similar situations and I'm sure will have other good suggestions, you might also find reading their posts helpful.