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Husband gambling again

Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2020 11:43 pm
by ACP
Broken hearted, my husband was coming home late, I felt he has been hiding something and so I checked the old account we use to have together and sure enough he has been gambling again, quite badly....I feel so lost and scared I don’t want us to end things but he just won’t talk to me, he is angry I was looking and found out, he said this is why we will never ever work out because there is no trust left.....he has lost our home because of his behaviour over the years. I don’t know what to do. I told him to pack his bags if he’s not prepared to talk, so he said he would.

Re: Husband gambling again

Posted: Mon Jun 29, 2020 1:37 pm
by AGHS
Hi, firstly I am very sorry that you feel the way you do, it would be very disheartening to have had to 'find' out your husband is gambling again and that his way to 'fix' it is to pack his bags. This is NOT your fault. It is not you that has been gambling, yet you're husband is angry with YOU and telling YOU that there is no trust left. Don't take it personally, gamblers will often deflect away from what is blatantly obvious...they have been gambling, spending money and running away from it is easier than confronting it head on. Can I suggest that you seek some support through the gambler helpline so as you are able to look at your situation rationally and make informed decisions regarding where to from now. I could imagine you would be quite emotional at the moment and it is very difficult to make the right decisions when we are affected by emotions. Give yourself time to think this through and then decide what YOU want to do about the situation. It could be the case that your husband has been continuously gambling all these years and has managed to hide it extremely well and you found out.......he is probably more angry with himself for slipping up and it is now out in the open. Given that you have already lost a house, you need to decide what more are YOU prepared to lose???? I hope it all works out for you.

Re: Husband gambling again

Posted: Mon Jun 29, 2020 2:55 pm
by sherpa09 (facilitator)
Hi ACP,

Its Sherpa09 here (one of the moderators on the forum). I'm sorry to hear of your current situation as I'm sure it must be difficult for you. You deserve respect, where its important that you can communicate and assert boundaries around this. It can be difficult to know where to start in getting support with what's happening with your partners gambling habits at the moment, however its important to know you're not alone.

I'll send you a private email shortly with information on accessing support and please let us know how we can best support you through this difficult time.

Regards,

Sherpa 09.