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  • Help the support person

    Is someone you care about experiencing issues with gambling? Come in here to discuss your concerns, connect, and get some helpful tips.
    Capricorn
    Junior Member
    Posts: 6
    Joined: Tue Feb 04, 2020 6:28 am

    Help the support person

    Tue Feb 04, 2020 6:37 am

    I'm finding it hard to not be angry 😡about our finances,a lot of money wasted in the last ten years
    0 x
    Capricorn
    Junior Member
    Posts: 6
    Joined: Tue Feb 04, 2020 6:28 am

    Re: Help the support person

    Tue Feb 04, 2020 6:39 am

    How can I get over these emotions and move forward
    Cap
    0 x
    AGHS
    Member
    Posts: 36
    Joined: Tue Jul 25, 2017 10:43 am

    Re: Help the support person

    Tue Feb 04, 2020 1:53 pm

    Hi Capricorn, I think the key is not to look back, damage has been done, absolutely nothing you say, think or feel will change it. BUT, you can change the future. Look ahead, make a list of what you want to achieve. Don't want to gamble anymore, start by barring yourself. Seek support from a professional, talk to a financial counsellor, talk to your family and friends. The more you share the more accountable you are not only to yourself but those around you. You have to take that first step though. As much as the temptation is all around you I can promise that as you travel your journey of gamble free these temptations become a blur in the background. Sure it may take a few months or even years to recover and relapses are part of the process of giving up gambling, try to be in control by limiting how much you want to lose and how much time you want to waste. If you really feel the urge to gamble try to put it off for awhile and distract yourself. We are all different in the ways we manage our cravings/addictions, you need to find what works for you best..............

    'Imagine a gamble free world'..........................................
    1 x
    Capricorn
    Junior Member
    Posts: 6
    Joined: Tue Feb 04, 2020 6:28 am

    Re: Help the support person

    Tue Feb 04, 2020 9:00 pm

    Hey thanks for reply,,it's my wife had the GA I need help dealing with it all
    1 x
    Capricorn
    Junior Member
    Posts: 6
    Joined: Tue Feb 04, 2020 6:28 am

    Re: Help the support person

    Tue Feb 04, 2020 9:05 pm

    I'm getting the cold shoulder sarcastic comments my fault comments. Hatred threats,,,, I've got a chat going with 4 of our kids they all know now wife doesn't know I've spoken to them yet,, we all agree we can support her,
    1 x
    AGHS
    Member
    Posts: 36
    Joined: Tue Jul 25, 2017 10:43 am

    Re: Help the support person

    Wed Feb 05, 2020 5:34 pm

    Woops...sorry. Looks like it might be time for a family meeting. Gambling addiction is very similar to a drug addiction. Your wife will need to admit she has a problem and is out of control and she wants help. The sarcasm and cold shoulder is not really her, it is the gambling addiction, try not to take it personally. Tell her the family are there to support her every step of the way and prompt your wife to come up with a few basic goals that she could achieve with the families help. One big one would be barring from venues and this would include all venues in a 200km radius, you will be surprised what lengths a gambler will go to satisfy their urge. Don't forget, she will be very ashamed as all gamblers are admitting they have a problem and she may minimise her problem and losses, you need to be careful she doesn't hide her gambling problem even more because the family have confronted her. Next would be contacting gambling counsellors which the whole family can access. It will take time but persevere.........for yourself, for your wife and for your family.
    2 x
    AGHS
    Member
    Posts: 36
    Joined: Tue Jul 25, 2017 10:43 am

    Re: Help the support person

    Thu Feb 06, 2020 4:36 pm

    I would highly recommend that yourself and your children watch Kaching Pokie Nation.....this will give you an excellent insight into what you are dealing relating to the addictive nature of gaming machines. You should be able to access it via YouTube.
    2 x
    Calvin (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 508
    Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2018 5:01 pm

    Re: Help the support person

    Thu Feb 06, 2020 6:38 pm

    Hi @Capricorn

    I'm one of the forum moderators.
    Thanks for sharing! Its always difficult for partners and family members of someone with a gambling issue. Its especially difficult when it creates tension within the family dynamic.
    It sounds like things have been quite rocky but adding to what @AGHS has said, your wife would need to be ready to acknowledge the problem for herself. There is help out there if she believes she needs it.
    In the meantime maintaining boundaries is important, in particular the financial side of things, i.e not lending money. Sometimes we can fall into this trap.
    Its great to hear that you and the rest of the family want to offer support as best you can and sometimes that's all you can do for the moment. Provide support and info on where she can further assistance.

    Have you considered looking into getting some counselling for yourself on how to cope with everything that's going on? Maybe down the track your wife may consider joining you.
    1 x
    Capricorn
    Junior Member
    Posts: 6
    Joined: Tue Feb 04, 2020 6:28 am

    Re: Help the support person

    Thu Feb 20, 2020 6:57 am

    Morning, thanks for the confident feedback. Arhh so many things. I am asking my wife for control of " our "finances, she bluntly refuses saying she's got personal reasons not to ,won't say what they are.. I can't trust her. We've had a couple big arguments and a small chats afterwards , but she's so stubourn .Shes Really throwing out the victim card packing bags ,removing jewlery ,keys off herself ,sleeping and living on back patio,,man so hard to keep thinking straight..git to go to work now
    Cap
    2 x

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